近期在媒体项目工作中的一点修炼体会
尊敬的师尊好！
各位同修大家好！
藉澳洲法会的机会，在此与大家分享近期在媒体项目中的一些修炼心得。不当之处请同修慈悲指正。
一、放下执着圆满的心，抓紧实修
今年疫情开始后，我看着周围的环境，有些困惑，心想劫难来了，同修们看起来还是按部就班啊。因为困惑，还去问同修是否认为这就是正法的尾声，又去问另一位同修疫情来后有没有更精進。后来我告诉自己“不要向外看还是修自己吧”。
一次同修提醒我，越是这个时候我们越要做好报纸质量才能使项目起到更大的救人作用。同修提醒的很对啊。是我的心偏离了。我意识到自己被疫情带动的人心是求圆满的私心，担心自己不能圆满的怕心。修炼也不是靠认同感与证实自我。眼睛看到的表象往往不是真相。
我发现自己这个执着圆满的心还真是挺重的。记得去年做过一个梦，大致情景是正法的最后时刻，看到同修们白日飞升，我一直在等什么时候轮到自己，可直到醒来都没轮上。
本该救人的时间，思想却想到别处了。得法之初，想求得世间的美好，人身的解脱的根本执着也被暴露出来。我告诉自己，一个正觉无论何时都是心系众生的，不可能是带着私的状态思考与行事。
记得师父讲：“你们知道吗？心里头想着圆满的人是圆满不了的，更何况想圆满还放不下对情、财等执着的人。无求而自得！大法弟子今天所做的一切就是历史赋予你们的责任，你就堂堂正正的去做好你应该做的，什么都在其中。你只要想着你要圆满你就圆满不了。”[1]
明确了这一点后，那就听师父的话，在最后这段时间里，把所有的时间与精力都投入在如何救人上才是我目前唯一需要考虑的。
这次写交流稿也发现了自己的私心与怕心，把做事当做了修炼。
一直认为写交流稿是修炼中应该配合的事，但是自己拖拉到最后只能完成任务式的交差，这次才意识到这样的做法很不严肃。
想想自己的心态是把写交流稿看作是件该做的事，不做的话在修炼上是个损失，不做可能会落下。我心里问自己是不是还有觉得写了稿、不管写得怎样都比不写的好。没有静下心来整理修炼的心得，没有认真去对待原本神圣的事情，我从只是完成任务的做法中看到自己想要提高的心并不纯正，还是站在了为私的基点上。
师父讲：“人把做事当作了修炼，人把维护宗教的形式当作修炼。”[2]
想起过往的一些事情也是如此，每次听到别人说项目不好或有什么问题的时候，我都急吼吼地跟人家解释有时甚至是争论，表面上看似是在维护项目维护法，但因为带着情，带着人心，没有看到自己的问题去实修，是否也是在“维护宗教”的本身呢。
二、发现阻碍修炼的“自我”
年初，主管同事有事请假了，我接替她的工作。这些年她休假或报导神韵时我都代班她的工作，这个部门是我最初进项目时的团队，所以和整个团队配合起来既熟悉又默契。但是心性考验的机会还是会随时出现。
前不久，在头版标题一个字的用法上和团队中的一位同事有了不同的看法。在查阅该字的用法与总部校对手册后，我决定更改，虽然同事持不同意见但最终让步。紧接着在转换使用总部最新版本的校对手册时，我处理不够得当，导致同事对我意见很大。
直到这时我还是没有好好找自己的问题，一天下班，团队的另一位同事说起这件事时，我顺口说了句，“真够某某修的了”（指那位对我很有意见的同事），话一出口，自己也吓一跳，因为看到了那个很强的“自我”。
师父讲：“我经常讲，两个人在遇到矛盾的时候你们都要互相看一看自己。不但你们俩个双方发生矛盾要看一看自己，就是旁观者能看到这个问题你都应该想一想自己，我说那在提高当中才是突飞猛進的。”[3]
旁观的第三方都要找自己，何况我这个矛盾的主体方，可我却将自己置身事外了。
这之后，我开始静下心来看自己的问题。那位同事是位长辈，在生活上也很照顾我，时间久了，我对同事的感激之心也在习以为常中变淡了。同事平常表现大大咧咧，有时不拘小节。我一直用情对待她，没有在修炼上对她有所提醒与帮助。虽然工作上的分工让我可以对一件事情做出最终决定，但在处理这件事情的过程中，我对同事没有用尊重与理解的心去沟通，这是党文化造就下违背传统道德的表现。而且我对同事的解释主观地归结为，那是她一贯坚持自我的做法。我是用强烈的观念在衡量同事，其实那个“自我”正是我要修去的。
意识到自己的问题后，我和同事的关系恢复如常了。同事也在修自己，事情过去了。但就是这个“自我”让我产生了在同事之上的错觉，在面对矛盾时表现出只修别人不修自己的状态。
一次接连几件小事让自己开始介意在别人面前的表现，总感觉自己笨嘴笨舌、笨手笨脚。
一次，正沉浸在自己的情绪当中，一出门过马路，包掉到地上，包里的玻璃饭盒打碎了，同修还开玩笑说要帮我保住饭碗。我向内找时，想起了以前的一个场景。有位同修很不愿意交流也不习惯敞开心扉，她是说不愿让别人觉得自己修的不好，很在意别人的眼光。我记得自己当时还用不太理解的语气跟人家说，为什么会有这样的担心，大家都是修炼人啊。意思是我就不会担心在别人面前坦承自己的问题。
可现在才发现，原来我也这么在意自己的表现啊，这不就是“自我”嘛，我对自己性格的认知不是一天两天了，已经几十年了，为什么现在开始在意了？是不是觉得自己现在位置不一样了，虽然不认为自己具足这样的能力，但隐藏的名利心还是加强了这个“自我”吧。
最近，有同事指出一篇文章的标题改错了，我开始回想到底是怎么回事。
当时看到这条新闻的第一个感觉是，在现实环境下谈论工资是否能够增长的问题没有意义，不如用新闻里面的一个点来得更吸引人，带给读者更实用的资讯。原本那个信息点的表述就是完整的一句话啊，可是为什么出错了呢？
我想起编辑这条新闻时，是版面大没太多选择的情况下，觉得改改标题尚可用，而且在整篇文章中没看到在谈论这类相关内容时的专门用词，心里就嘀咕：“唉，他们怎么会不知道这个专业术语呢？”这个念头冒出来时，我没有去重视它。记不清当时是不是因为别的事情打岔，就匆匆下了新的题目。
就在做这期报纸的前几天，请一位同事解决一个问题时，他说了一些不愿直接做而是要用替代方案的理由后，话题一转，开始指出我们的工作要如何如何，而不应如何如何。因为刚好有其它工作要处理，我当下没有立即回应他的这个话题，感觉那样做的话可能会带出情绪，但其实心里并没有放下，我在思想中这样回复他，“让你做你份内的工作，你就指出别人的问题。你应该最近没有关注我们的内容，我们现在有所改善啊。”不管表面形式如何吧，回忆至此，清晰的一点就是，这让我再次看到了“自我”这个执着。
其实，对于我个人来说，一直看得到自己有很多不足，即使这样，“自我”这个东西依然表现的很突出。觉得自己比别人行，或过分纠结自己不行都是“自我”的表现。
我还悟道：旧势力与三界内的旧神当初都不知道正法是怎么回事，认为自己才有能力挽救苍穹，因此做了他们的安排，但实际上却成为了正法的阻碍。
“自我”障碍着我们修去旧宇宙的特性“私”，阻挡我们不能实修，遇到问题时只修别人不修自己。这让我想起刚开始修炼时印象比较深的就是师父讲：“你们今后做事就是要先想到别人，修成无私无我，先他后我的正觉”。[4]
师父多次跟我们讲过大法弟子在配合时应该如何做。
师父再次讲到配合这个问题时讲：“堂堂正正的配合好。不一定谁的主意最好，就是他主意不好、不全面，你自己默默的把它补充好！做全面了！神才看你了不起，而且是默默做的！”[5]
三、与团队共同成长
之前提醒我要抓好质量的同事对我说，你不能只满足于完成了工作，你要带好团队啊。想想自己好像真的是这样仅限于完成工作。在我看来，因为整个团队坚持了五六年的每天上班前的面对面学法，不仅人员稳定，工作效率也比过去提高很多。大家的工作也很有序，我只是配合大家完成每天的工作。
听到同修的再次提醒后我问自己，我是否真的把自己溶于团队之中，我是否真的关心同修，我知不知道她们在工作或修炼上有什么困难，她们需要什么样的支持。一直以来，都是她们在包容我，帮助我。
我放下人心，想到我既然在这儿，那就要对同修负责。配合公司的要求，我制作了一个表格，希望大家都能填写每天学法炼功发正念的时间，以此在修炼上互相督促与鼓励。结果是大家都很愿意这样做，从八月份起，我们整个报社开始实行在线填表。另外，我所在的团队也开始每周学习一些文字方面及软件使用的培训内容，使大家共同在专业技能上有所提高。
我一直盼望我代班的那位同事能回来，从六月盼到了九月，我问自己是不是有怕吃苦、不愿承担责任的心，我开始放下这些人心与执着，做好要做的工作。
有时会提醒自己，在一个环境中待久了，不修自己的话在工作与修炼上很难有突破，周围的人看不到你有改变的希望，不容易再去提醒你。可是遇到矛盾与问题时自己还是不能做得很好，我知道这不是下决心就能做到的事，是要在修炼上下功夫。
这些年下来，我看到自己有一点变化，本身的性格比较不沉稳，犯了错误会纠结在错误本身上。现在承负能力好像强了一些，不再深陷负面情绪中，而是让自己理智去面对，从工作与心性上找出问题所在。
记得我刚来到媒体项目时，看到部门之间有隔阂，就一心想要怎么消除隔阂，让大家形成整体。可是几年后我才明白，自己当时的心态是想要改变别人。修炼就是修自己啊。
在项目中的八年多时间中，是师父的看护、同修的包容使我坚持了下来。有时也会问自己，我有没有为这个整体增添正的因素，答案都感觉很惭愧。我告诉自己，那就从现在开始，听师父的话，修好自己，奋力精進，使我们的环境成为比学比修，充满更多正气之场，使我们的媒体在正法中发挥最大的救度众生的作用。
谢谢师父！
谢谢同修！
注：
[1] 李洪志师父著作：《二零零三年元宵节讲法》
[2] 李洪志师父著作：《美国首都法会讲法》
[3] 李洪志师父著作：《新加坡法会讲法》
[4] 李洪志师父著作：《精進要旨》〈佛性无漏〉
[5] 李洪志师父著作：《二零一九年纽约法会讲法》
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English translation of the sharing:
My recent cultivation experience while working in the media
Greetings, respected teacher!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I would like to take the opportunity in the Australian Fa conference to share with you some of my recent experiences while working in the media. Please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.
- Let go of the attachment to perfection, cultivate solidly.
When the pandemic began this year, I looked around my environment and felt confused. I thought, the disaster is coming, but my fellow practitioners seemed to be going about as usual. As I was confused, I asked a fellow practitioner if they thought this was the end of Fa rectification. I also asked another fellow practitioner if they had become more diligent after the pandemic struck. I told myself afterwards, ‘Don’t look outwards, just cultivate yourself.’
I was reminded by a fellow practitioner that at this period of time, we need to focus on the quality of our work for the paper so that the project can have a greater impact on saving people. What she said was so true. It was my mind that had gone astray. I realised that the reason I was moved by the evolving pandemic was because I had a selfish attachment to consummation. I was afraid that I wouldn’t reach consummation. Cultivation is not about recognition nor validating oneself. Neither is the practice based on identification and ego confirmation. What the eyes see on the surface is often not the truth.
I realised my attachment to consummation was quite strong. I remember a dream I had last year. It was basically the final moment of Fa rectification. I saw my fellow practitioners levitating in broad daylight. I was waiting for my time to arrive, but it never came by the time I woke up.
In a time that I am meant to save people, my mind was elsewhere. When I first obtained the Fa, I pursued a happy life. My attachment to personal liberation was exposed. I told myself that a righteous enlightened being is always concerned about saving people. I cannot think and act in such a selfish state.
I remember Master said in “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”:“But you know what? Those who have thoughts of Consummation in their minds can’t reach Consummation, not to mention those who want to reach Consummation but can’t let go of attachments to things like emotion and wealth. Pursue nothing and gain naturally! All the things that Dafa disciples are doing today are in fact the responsibilities that have been bestowed upon you by history. Just do what you should do openly and with dignity, and everything will be covered. (Applause) As long as you’re thinking about wanting to Consummate you won’t be able to Consummate…”
After understanding this, I knew that I needed to listen to Master’s words, and in this final period, the only thing I should be concerned about now is devoting all my time and energy on how to save people.
I also discovered my selfishness and fear through writing this experience sharing. I also treated work as if it was cultivation.
I’ve always thought that writing an experience sharing is something I should cooperate with, but I procrastinated to the point where I was only able to complete the task. This time, I realised that I hadn’t been treating it seriously.
I thought writing an experience sharing is something that I should do, and that it would be a loss to my cultivation if I didn’t do it. I would fall behind. I asked myself if I felt that it was better to write than to not write at all. I didn’t calmly organise my thoughts and write my experience sharing. I didn’t take seriously something as sacred as this. From my approach of wanting to get the job done, I saw that the wish to improve myself was not pure. I was standing on the basis of selfishness.
Master said in “Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the US Capital”:“People take actively doing things to be cultivation, and they take preserving religious formats to be cultivation.”
I thought about some things that occurred in the past. Whenever I heard someone say that a certain project was not good or that there was a problem, I would anxiously explain the situation to others, and sometimes even argued with them. On the surface it looked like I was defending the project and safeguarding the Fa, but due to my sentimentality and attachments, I did not see my own cultivation issues. I wonder whether I’d also just been “preserving religious formats”.
- The attachment to self is an obstacle to cultivation
At the beginning of the year, I took over the work of my colleague who was on leave and I became the department manager. Over these years, I replaced her whenever she was on leave or busy with Shen Yun reporting. This is the same department that I joined when I first started working for the media, so I was familiar working with the team and we worked well together. However, opportunities to improve xinxing can pop up at any time.
Not long ago, I had a disagreement with a colleague over the usage of a particular word on the front page headlines. After checking the word usage with our head office’s proofreading manual, I decided to revise the word, and although the practitioner disagreed, he finally gave in. While making the switch, I didn’t handle the process well, which drew a lot of criticism from other practitioners.
Up until that point, I hadn’t really found my own problems. One day after work, another team member was discussing this incident and said casually, “That’s definitely for so and so to cultivate” (I was referring to the colleague who had a strong opinion towards me). As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I was shocked because I saw the strong attachment to self.
Master said in “Teaching at the Conference in Singapore”:“I’ve often said that when two people have friction between each other, each one should examine him or herself. Not only should the two people with the friction examine themselves, but also the bystanders who happen to observe the incident should. That’s when you will really improve by leaps and bounds.”
But I placed myself out of the issue.
After this, I began to calm down and look at my own problems. The practitioner who I had a conflict with was one of my elders. She took care of me daily, but as time went by, my gratitude towards this practitioner gradually faded. This practitioner was usually carefree, and sometimes she didn’t pay attention to detail. I always used sentimentality towards her and did not remind her or help her in cultivation. Even though my role at work allowed me to make the final decision on certain matters, in the process of handling the matter, I did not communicate to my fellow practitioner with respect and understanding. This type of conduct was against traditional morality and had been instilled by Party culture. I thought it came down to the fact that the practitioner kept insisting on doing things her own way. I was judging practitioners with strong notions. Actually, the attachment to self was exactly what I should have been cultivating away.
After realising my problem, my relationship with the practitioner returned to normal. The practitioner was also cultivating herself, so that matter was over. It was this attachment to self that gave me the illusion of being above others. When facing conflicts, I was helping other practitioners cultivate but not myself.
A few small things that happened one after the other made me start to be conscious of how I behaved in front of others, like how I was inarticulate and uncoordinated. One day, I was leaving the house in an emotional state. My bag fell to the ground and the glass lunchbox in my bag broke. Practitioners joked about helping me save my job. I soon remembered a scene from the past. A practitioner was very reluctant to share and was uncomfortable about opening up. What she meant was that she didn’t want others to think that she hadn’t cultivated well. She cared about what others thought. I remember speaking to them as though I didn’t understand why she was worried. We were all cultivators. What I meant was that I wasn’t worried about admitting my problems in front of others.
The fact that I cared so much about myself is a sign of the attachment to self. I have known about my personality for decades, so why would I start to care now? Did I feel that my role was different now? Even though I didn’t think I had all the skills, the hidden attachments to fame and fortune strengthened my attachment to self.
Recently, a practitioner pointed out that the headline of an article had been changed incorrectly. I started to think about why it happened.
The first thing I thought when I saw the news was that it was meaningless to talk about wage increases in the current environment, so I thought it would be better to use one of the points in the article to attract readers and provide them with more practical information. The information was presented as a complete sentence, so where did it go wrong?
Later on, while editing the news, I felt that there was not enough content. After reading the article, I felt it was okay to change the headline, but when I looked through the article, I couldn’t find any Terminology on this relevant topics. I thought, ‘Oh, how did they not know this?” When this thought came out, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I don’t know if it was because I had other things to attend to at that time, so I quickly thought of a new headline.
It occurred to me that just a few days before this happened, when I asked another practitioner to solve a problem, he gave me reasons why he didn’t want to do it in a direct way, but wanted to find alternative solutions. The topic suddenly changed and he started pointing out how our work should be this way and not that way. I didn’t immediately respond to his question because I had other work to do, feeling that his alternative solution might make everyone upset. But actually I hadn’t let go of the issue. I thought to myself, “I’ve asked you to do your job, but you’re pointing out other people’s problems. You probably haven’t been paying attention to our content lately, but we’ve made improvements.” It didn’t no matter how it appeared on the surface, however it made me clearly see the attachment to self again.
In fact, for me personally, I have always been able to see that I have many shortcomings, but even so, the attachment to self really stands out. Thinking that I am better than others, or overly emphasising that I am not capable enough are all manifestations of the attachment to self.
The old forces and old gods in the three realms never understood the Fa rectification. They thought they were the ones who could save the colossal firmament, so they made their own arrangements, but they were actually the obstacles in the Fa rectification.
The attachment to self prevents us from cultivating away the old cosmos’ characteristic of selfishness. It stops us from cultivating solidly. When we encounter problems, we only cultivate others but not ourselves. This reminded me of Master’s words which had a great impact on me when I first started practising. Master said in “Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” from Essentials for Further Advancement, “I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability.”
When Master talked about the issue of cooperation, Master told us many times what Dafa disciples should do. In “Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”, Master also said:
“Collaborate well in an open and dignified way. It doesn’t matter whose idea is the best. Even if someone’s idea isn’t good and hasn’t taken everything into consideration, you quietly make up for what’s missing! Do a thorough job! Only then would Gods see you as remarkable, and not to mention that you did it quietly!”
- Growing with the team
The practitioner who previously reminded me to focus on work quality said to me, ‘don’t just be satisfied with getting the job done. You have to lead the team well.’ It really felt as though I was only limited to getting the job done. It seemed to me that we had a stable team because for the last five or six years, our team has persisted in face to face Fa study every day before work. Our work productivity is also much higher than in the past. Everyone’s work was also very orderly and I was just cooperating with everyone to complete their daily work.
After getting this reminder, I asked myself whether I had really become one with the team, whether I really cared about my fellow practitioners, whether I knew if they had any difficulties in their work or cultivation, and what kind of support they needed. They have been accommodating my shortcomings and helping me all along.
I let go of attachments and thought that since I am here, then I must be responsible to my fellow practitioners. In line with what our company wanted us to do, I created a form for everyone to fill out the number of hours of Fa study, exercise and righteous thoughts they did on a daily basis, so that we could monitor each other and encourage each other in our cultivation.
Everyone was willing to participate. Since August, our entire office started to put it into action and fill out the form online. My team has also started taking part in weekly training on content and software to improve everyone’s professional skills.
I have always been looking forward to the day my colleague will return from leave. I was looking forward to it since June all the way until September. I looked within to see if I had a fear of suffering and if I was unwilling to take on responsibility. I started to let go and do well what I am supposed to do.
Sometimes I have to remind myself, when you’re in the same environment for a long time, it’s hard to make breakthroughs in work and cultivation if you don’t cultivate yourself. The people around you can’t see how you can change and it’s not easy to keep reminding you. But when I run into conflicts and problems, I still can’t do very well. I know that this is not something you can achieve with determination, but that we have to focus on cultivation.
Over the years, I have seen some changes in myself. I feel that I wasn’t very stable to begin with, and whenever I make a mistake, I tend to dwell on it. Now I am a bit more resilient, and instead of being trapped in negative emotions, I am now able to face them rationally, and find out where the problems are in my work and in my mind.
I remember when I first came to the media, I saw a gap between departments and I was determined to see how I could bridge the gap so that we could form one body. But after a few years, I realised that I was actually trying to change other people. Cultivation is about cultivating yourself.
Over the 8 years of working for the media, it is Master’s care and the tolerance of my fellow practitioners that kept me going. Sometimes, I would ask myself if I have added any positive factors to the whole team. I felt ashamed of my answer. I told myself from now on, I must listen to Master, cultivate myself well, strive to improve, and enable our environment to become one where we can learn from one another, one that is filled with righteous energy, so that our media can have the greatest effect in saving sentient beings in the Fa rectification.
Thank you, Master!
Thank you, fellow practitioners!