More and more I’m seeing how I respond to obstacles and tribulations as they arise can affect my cultivation state. I’ve noticed that it can be very easy to slip into a negative way of looking at things if I am not keeping my thoughts righteous. It mostly manifests when I’m working on a project to clarify the truth. At the beginning of the project, I am upbeat and positive and have righteous thoughts towards saving sentient beings, believing we can make the project a great success. I put my whole heart into organising things and mobilising practitioners to get involved. However, when I can’t see a result for the hard work and heart being put into the project, I can become despondent and depressed. I begin to think negatively about myself and my abilities, and all kinds of interfering thoughts can manifest. When I am involved as the coordinator of a project, I see the result of the project as my sole responsibility even when there is a whole team working towards the goal, saving sentient beings. These thoughts pull me down, making me want to slack off in my cultivation by seeking comfort to escape the pressure of these thoughts, and I also lose motivation for the everyday things I must do in balancing my life while working in my business and taking care of my family, which in turn causes tribulations for them. While I don’t give up the project-related work, I think I sort of give up on myself. I am then at the mercy of interference from my own mind.
In Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four, Master says:
“Accordingly, in your future cultivation you will run into all kinds of tribulations. How could you cultivate without these hardships? If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interest or interference from the human mind, and if all you do is just sit there, how can your xinxing improve? That wouldn’t do. One must truly temper oneself through actual practice.”
I’ve come to realise that I’m not actually seizing every cultivation opportunity properly when in the process of working on projects to clarify the facts. Perhaps I am too focused on the results, while not paying as much attention as I should to the process of my improvement.
In Essentials for Further Advancement I, Further Understanding, Master says:
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.”
The most recent project I’ve been working on was the screening of “In the Name of Confucius”. From the outset of the project, there were several factors that presented some challenges. Queensland was initially supposed to be at the end of the film tour, but gave way for NZ to have those dates so the NZ screenings could take place during the semester, rather than the semester break when staff and students are on holidays. This meant that we had a limited time to secure a venue and promote the screenings in Brisbane and on the Gold Coast. This didn’t phase me, and I knew we needed to just forge ahead and do it. The film maker would be in Australia and we had an opportunity to take advantage of that to save sentient beings, so we needed to just move ahead. I was to work under the main coordinator for the project to coordinate the screening on the Gold Coast. The first obstacle was the university’s hesitation to hold the screening. I have booked a lecture theatre at this university twice before, and there were not any issues; however, on this occasion, the university said that due to the controversial nature of the film, my application to hire a lecture theatre would have to be reviewed. This university has a Confucius Institute on campus. They asked me to send an email with further details prior to submitting the online application.
Meanwhile, Australian practitioners had received a message from Master through our main coordinator. My understanding of that message was that we had not done well enough with clarifying the truth to VIP’s, including the Australian government, and that Westerners hadn’t been persistent enough in this work. When I heard this message, I was heartbroken and shed some tears. As one of the coordinators for this project, I was disappointed I had let Master down and that despite the hard work put in, there had been no significant breakthroughs. In fact, recently, I’ve noticed that when it comes to the CCP, the Australian government seems to only make a move in the right direction when the US government does. I understood this as meaning that this wasn’t the result of Australian practitioners’ efforts, but perhaps the efforts of the US practitioners.
From one perspective, I understood that the reason I was unable to be persistent with the VIP/Government work was because I was also a coordinator for marketing and promotions of my city’s Shen Yun shows. This role is very labour intensive and leaves little time for much else in both preparing for and during the period of promoting the shows. However, when I looked within, I enlightened that maybe the idea of persistence was more about how I approached the work as opposed to how much I did. My understanding was that I needed to be less timid and more forthright in my approach to things, of course still maintaining a practitioner’s demeanour. I knew in my email to the university I needed to apply this mindset. I mentioned in my email that while some may see potential controversy in screening this documentary at universities with Confucius Institutes, it could perhaps be more controversial to prevent such a screening from taking place, especially at a university, a place where open debate and varying viewpoints on topical issues is usually encouraged. I wanted to make it clear to the university that they needed to position themselves correctly in relation to this issue and not be used as a tool for censorship by the CCP.
I gave the university time to get back to me, but persisted in following up when I felt they had sufficient time to respond. When I called, I was told the application was being reviewed by the vice chancellor and they still didn’t have an answer for me, so I gave them 2 more days before following up again. I was told the application was still under review. I realized that I needed to book an alternative venue and was sure we could make the screening a success outside the university. Time was getting tight and I was holding up Brisbane securing their venue so both cities could move forward with shared promotional tools. After booking the alternative venue, I heard back from the university that my application had been approved. Even though the approval came late, it was confirmation for me about the importance of being persistent in my approach. I told the university that I had to find an alternative venue this time, but I would book a screening at the university soon, seeing my request had been approved.
We moved ahead with promoting the screening. Even though we had limited time to promote, practitioners moved quickly to coordinate areas for distribution of materials and carrying out the work. Invitation letters were emailed to university academics, community groups and chambers of commerce. The screening was also promoted on social media. Even though most private schools were already on holidays, we maintained the attitude that we needed to persist with it and the coordinator of that promotional area was able to reach many schools.
Even though a lot of work had been done, the screening ticket sales were slow and I allowed this to affect me. I became quite worried and felt myself become depressed. I shared with a local practitioner who helped me understand the importance of not allowing those negative thoughts to enter my mind and stop me. She also helped me understand not fearing those negative thoughts, so that if they try to come in, it’s simply a matter of eliminating them again. This helped a lot and I felt myself become more righteous. I then received a call from a practitioner I know who lives overseas. I told her about the situation with the screening. She mentioned a sharing from the DC Fahui about a practitioner who held a film screening and some of the challenges and breakthroughs she had. I read the sharing later that day. It had a profound effect on me. The practitioner shared about how she improved her xinxing while carrying out Dafa projects. It dawned on me that I was getting another hint to see the situation I was facing as an opportunity to improve my xinxing.
The situation the practitioner was facing was like ours in that not many tickets had sold a week before their screening. The practitioner shared how she thought of Master’s teachings about looking inwards when challenges come. She was able to then find the root cause of her fears. This encouraged me to do the same. I realised I had been looking externally and looking at the situation in a very ordinary way by equating the work that was being put in to the result. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t seeing a result after all the effort that had been made. I saw that I was attached to the ticket result as validation of my hard work and efforts, and that’s why I was experiencing such disappointment and fear. I was also encouraged by the sharing to keep going until the end and not give up, even if things looked bleak. I tried to use my heart to do everything from that point on, eliminate any fear and improve in the situation while saving sentient beings and not looking at the result from an everyday person’s perspective.
Once I had this small breakthrough in my thinking, I enlightened to many opportunities to be persistent. Although I’d sent out media releases and made some follow-up calls, there had been no response from media. I decided to call again. I could tell my state was different this time and I was more persistent in my approach. I was able to reach decision makers from several media outlets and express to them how important the issue was and offer them suggestions for potential angles they could cover the issue from. Many of them expressed interest and asked me to resend the information, which I did along with supporting articles that might help them cover the issue.
The Friday before the screening, I hadn’t heard back from any of the media outlets. I was at work that day and asked myself if I’d done everything I could. I knew I didn’t have any other local angle or reason to call the media about. I remembered something that was shared from the Shen Yun meeting in DC from Master to the New Zealand practitioners when they asked why their tickets weren’t selling. Master said, “You need to use your hearts.” I told myself, “Use your heart.” Driving home from work, I suddenly enlightened to a different angle I could suggest to the media. That evening was my daughters 18th birthday and I had to come home and quickly prepare the house for the party guests. I had been so busy with the screening, I hadn’t given her party much thought. I decided I would squeeze in another round of calls to the interested media people I’d been speaking to. I called a respected national paper I had been dealing with. The bureau chief said he had watched the film online and while he still wasn’t sure about the angle I presented (because they have covered the issue), it wasn’t because of my lack of advocacy. He asked me if I was the film’s publicist. I laughed inside. I knew this was a form of encouragement for trying to be more persistent in my approach to doing things. I called another local Gold Coast paper and a local Gold Coast radio station who both asked me to resend the info and they would send it out to their journalists again. I texted my contact at ABC radio Brisbane. Even though there was no immediate result from my efforts, I knew I had given it my all with my heart focused on saving sentient beings. I started to get the house ready for the party guests and then received a call from Brisbane ABC radio that they would interview the film’s director on Monday afternoon live in the studio on their drive time program. It was a significant breakthrough.
While we only got about 30 everyday people to the screening, the audience members that were there were mostly influential people in society. They were very engaged in the Q&A and seemed to recognize clearly the importance of the issues presented in the film. The director told me she was very happy with the screening.
The next morning, I couldn’t contain my disappointment in all the empty seats. A practitioner called me and I just broke down in tears. She helped me a lot by sharing with me that perhaps we needed to emphasize sending forth righteous thoughts more since, as the film directly exposed the CCP, the interference would be significant. She said the results were the responsibility of the whole body, not just me as the coordinator. She asked me if I thought there was anything else I could have done. I knew there wasn’t in terms of the work and promotions. What I do know now, and particularly after writing this sharing, is that I missed some opportunities to improve myself. When my heart was provoked by results, I would initially fall into despair instead of calming down to look within. While I worked through the project with the heart to save sentient beings and coordinate things well, I did not see my improvement as the most important.
In Essentials for Further Advancement I, “A Person in Charge is Also a Cultivator”, Master says:
“In order for you to improve, your heart has to be provoked when problems arise; otherwise it won’t do. Working for Dafa is also a good opportunity for you to improve your xinxing!”
I see that I need to view all these challenges positively and care about my improvement. I’m grateful for Master’s timely reminder in the 2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.:
“You have gone through so many long and gruelling years to make it to this day, and it really hasn’t been easy! Do you not know to value and cherish yourselves? I certainly cherish you! And divine beings do too! (Applause.) So all the more so should you value and cherish yourselves.”
I am still in the process of enlightening further to what this means for me at my level of cultivation. Perhaps by valuing and cherishing myself, my own improvement in cultivation will naturally become more important and perhaps by seeing my cultivation improvement as important, I am truly valuing and cherishing myself.
Thank you Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.