Cultivating Well to Express Gratitude to Master

Greetings to Master and fellow practitioners!

It’s time for another Australian Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference. I previously felt I had nothing to share at the conference, as my cultivation didn’t go very well and I had not been in the habit of writing for nearly fifty years. I was worried about other people laughing at my writing. Additionally, writing itself isn’t easy. I was aware that it was Master’s idea for us to share and compare with each other so we could improve. I was reluctant to write about my cultivation experience because of my various attachments to fear, laziness and reputation. I didn’t realise they were the attachments that needed to be eliminated. In the Minghui Online Film and TV Broadcasting program In Memory of Master, a female fellow practitioner recalled some precious memories of her original experience. When she handed the written manuscript to Master she said, “Master, I didn’t write well.” Master took the script and looked at her compassionately. He smiled and said, “It’s good as long as you wrote it.” This dialogue truly touched me. My understanding is that Master didn’t ask us to write with shining words or magnificent sentence structures. Instead, we should write about how we improved ourselves through cultivation by correcting our thoughts during conflicts, hardship and when experiencing attachments. I think I have so many attachments that the old forces use and enlarge it, like a wall in front of me. When I rid myself of these attachments, the wall soon collapsed and my xinxing improved, too. Magic happened soon after I finished my first writing. My “illness” came back but completely left me after about 2 hours. because my xinxing was improved. Master helped me get through the ordeal quickly, and afterward my body had never felt so light. I realized that writing about cultivation experiences is an opportunity to cultivate.

Now, I would like to talk about how I passed two tests relating to the same “illness.”

It started one day in August 2013. That particular morning, I went to the mountain attractions in Sydney to tell the truth. Before I arrived at the destination I went to the bathroom. When I saw that my urine was an abnormal colour – bright red, in fact – I was really shocked. “What’s wrong with me?” I thought. “Blood in my urine! Is there a problem with my kidneys?” If this were the case it would be a big problem.

Right then, a thought flashed in my mind that this disease could not be cured. I could only delay the disease, I thought, and it would worsen in its later stages, developing into incurable pain. I became habitually occupied by these ordinary people’s thoughts. At the same time, I also came to understand what fear of dying really meant.

This process of haematuria lasted nine days. Although I lost a lot of blood in those nine days, I knew there is no such thing as a sick person. I also didn’t suffer from any of the other typical symptoms of sickness such as nausea, fatigue or physical exhaustion. I wondered if this is what Master spoke of when he said he would clean up our bodies? That’s right! Master was cleaning my body, how could I think I was sick?

Master said in Zhuan Falun, “A true practitioner will look at things from a higher plane, rather than through a human lens. By believing that you are sick you might just make yourself sick. That’s because when you take it to be sickness your thoughts are no higher than this world.”

After I studied Master’s teaching I knew that cultivators do not get sick. I understood that this was Master cleaning up my body, helping to eliminate my black matter. My mentality has since gradually stabilised. Every day, I study the Fa, do five exercises, send righteous thoughts, and go to the tourist sights to share the truth and help people quit the CCP. However, I was doing these actions without thinking like a Dafa disciple, i.e. searching inside for bad thoughts, attachments and desires. I believed that as long as I persisted in doing the three things, I would be able to pass this level.

However, contrary to expectations, my body was not improved but became worse and worse. The urinary bleeding was not alleviated, and my urethra gave me tearing pain if I walked for any decent distance. After a time I became lost again; my heart became unstable and I could not find the crux of my problem.

During this period, many of our fellow practitioners knew my situation and gave me warm and sincere help, and exchanged their thoughts with me a lot. I would like to take this opportunity to express my deep gratitude to the fellow practitioners who have given me such selfless help. They sincerely advised me to believe in the Fa-rectification, strengthen my righteous thoughts, study the Fa more, do the exercises, and send more righteous thoughts. I should look inward, find my attachments and remove them, they said. Some fellow practitioners told me to treat my attachments with righteous thoughts. I came to think that what was happening in body was a false appearance of illness – and was Master cleaning up my body, eliminating black matter. Through such exchanges, my confidence increased and my mentality stabilised. I sent more righteous thoughts to clear out the dark forces targeting me. However, sometimes there were good days and sometimes bad days; it didn’t solve the fundamental problem. My physical condition worsened.

Master said, “True spiritual practice means cultivating your mind, working on yourself, and reflecting on your role in things rather than blaming your circumstances.”

After studying this sentence, I realised that nothing would improve fundamentally despite the efforts of fellow practitioners. Real progress had to come from within. But saying it is a lot easier than doing. If a cultivator doesn’t study the Fa extensively, they are unable to use Dafa to strictly guide themselves by constantly repairing the damage of the multitude of pedestrian thoughts and attachments, which lays a solid foundation for cultivation over time; and firm belief in Master’s omnipotent and incomparable compassion is lacking. If you still use human thinking, human ideas, and human methods, how can you realise the fundamental difference between a human and a divine being?

I couldn’t reach this realisation when passing through this stage. I didn’t pass the test, but the same challenge appeared again. Many small tests accumulated into one enormous test. At that time, I was already physically and mentally exhausted. I couldn’t sleep, night after night, my stomach ached and I had pains in my chest as though I was being stabbed with a knife. In the beginning, I was spitting clear water, but it quickly changed to yellow, and then I started vomiting blood. My urine was red with blood and blood clots, and my spine was stinging. It felt like what Master had said in ‘Tempering the Will,’ Hong Yin, “Abundant troubles rain down together, All to see: Can you pull through?” At this time, my mind was groggy, and all righteous thoughts were gone. I lay in bed for three or four days, unable to stand up or stand still.

I had to take care of myself for a week because my family were all going to the United States to attend the Fa Conference. I thought: I will not even have anyone who can pour me tea. Can I pull through? And if I don’t…how could anyone explain my loss of life and the damage it caused Dafa and my brothers and sisters; and what would my relatives and friends think? How could I make up for it? At this time, my fear of going to hell exceeded my fear of death, as I would have no more chances to explain myself.

I didn’t want to think too much, so just like that, I decided to go to the hospital. After entering the hospital, the doctor immediately performed surgery on me. I was discharged four days after the operation, and made an appointment at the hospital at the time of discharge. After a month, I was asked to go to the specialist to hear the diagnosis. The doctor told me through a translator, “You are suffering from bladder cancer.” He gave me this diagnosis and asked me to return the result to the hospital for post-surgery treatment. After returning home, I explained the situation to my family who are also fellow practitioners. In the end everyone, including myself, agreed that I should no longer be treated at a hospital.

Master always tells us in the Fa that cultivators don’t have illnesses, and that this is a false appearance. I realised that I had to return to Dafa. I knew I didn’t pass the test well this time. I understood that I must learn my lesson and strengthen my Fa study. I realised that I had to work hard to improve my mind. When I encounter problems, I knew must look inward and search for my ordinary people’s thoughts and attachments, dig them out and remove them. I must unswervingly hold on to my belief in Master and Dafa. From the perspective of a cultivator, the surgery did not take away my illness, but brought it to the surface of the body. The black matter that fell off was pushed back into my body. Master pushes black matter of our lives from the inside out, to the surface. He told us many times in the lectures that the rationales of cultivators and ordinary people are opposite. When this debt arrives again, I will still have to pay back. Because I didn’t behave well during this test, I have to face it again. Just like when you miss a lesson, you must make up for it. I have to get rid of my attachments and fear of death so the I can really improve based on the Fa.

The second day after I was discharged from the hospital, I went to the tourist attraction sites to participate in truth clarification. Every day, I carried on studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and sending out righteous thoughts to the whole world. I have learned a lot through reading the Fa, can now use Dafa to truly guide myself. Gradually, my various attachments are fading away, so I have lived another year smoothly. In the past year or so, the great Master gave me two magical revelations, which made me really feel that Master is always looking after me, and this also motivates me to want to cultivate even better.

In the process of eliminating attachments, handling conflicts and looking inward, every time I find an everyday thought or attachment, I send righteous thoughts to remove it from my heart, and if it can’t be removed once, I send righteous thoughts twice, three times, or even more. I know that as long as I am determined to do it, Master will support and help me to remove those bad things.

Under the care and support of Master, I have made some progress in cultivation. My incomparable gratitude for Master made me want to write about my experience for this Conference, and report to Master to express my deepest gratitude. I have been cultivating for so many years, and I have never really written this experience as seriously as this year. After writing it, I feel a little relieved.

On August 21 this year, about ten days after I finished writing my first sharing for the Fa Conference. I suddenly had a lot of blood in my urine. By the next morning, I was not only urinating blood a lot but would have to go to the toilet every five, six or ten minutes. I thought, whatever needs to come, will come; I have to pay back the debt I owe. I decided to face everything with righteous thoughts. Since I couldn’t go out to do truth clarification, I decided to study the Fa at home and send righteous thoughts. I knew I could also look inward for any hidden attachments, and remove them.

I discovered many hidden attachments to fame, jealousy, lust, arrogance, complaining, comforts in life, and social media. Some of them are not easy to detect, while others are things that I know clearly but I just can’t let go of or things I don’t want to give up. For example, the attachment to everyday media on the Internet.

Master told us in Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day: “Since you are here among humans, what your eyes have seen and ears have heard include terribly filthy things from society. Do you know what it means to ‘have heard’ or ‘have seen’ something? It’s not what people think, where after you’ve viewed something, it’s over with if you didn’t take it with you; or when you’ve heard something but didn’t pursue it further, it doesn’t matter. That’s not the case. All things are material. When you have heard something, it has been infused into you, and it enters your body. When you have seen something, it has entered.”

Fellow practitioners in my family also shared with me about the Fa, and also pointed out many of my xinxing problems, such as anger, resentment, inability to understand others, arrogance, stubbornness and other bad attachments. Although we are all fellow practitioners living together every day, it was embarrassing to admit that it was the first time we spoke face-to-face peacefully and candidly, without any bad emotions, forceful language or accusations. It had never happened before. It makes me feel that a sincere, kind and compassionate attitude can make the environment very peaceful. Intuition tells me that Master had arranged my wife to help me. Through this exchange, I removed a lot of bad thoughts about her, such as contempt, resentment and other bad ideas. I also realised the importance of looking inward, and found a lot of attachments hidden in my heart. I also told Master that I should first and foremost immediately remove my obsession with watching various ordinary media on the Internet.

Master said in Zhuan Falun, “Imagine that there is a bottle filled with dirt and that’s capped tightly. If the bottle is tossed into water it will sink to the bottom. But if you pour out some of its dirt, and toss it into the water again, it will float up this time; and the more that’s poured out, the more it will float. Pour out all of it and the bottle will float all the way up.”

I then realised if my mind was packed with a lot of rubbish from ordinary society and media, how could I study the Fa well? How could I become one with the Fa?

I recognised another very bad attachment that could destroy a cultivator: to not cherish and treat ourselves as cultivators. Master said, “I understand all cultivators. I cherish you more than you cherish yourself.” Where is quote from – JD asks

Every time I feel that I can’t let go of my attachments, I know that I am far from Dafa. I feel that my heart is empty and I need to regain my cultivation state. After a period of serious cultivation, I become slack again and my attachments find their way back. After a few cycles of this, I still hadn’t taken it seriously. I never cherished myself as a cultivator, which really must disappoint compassionate Master! How could Master save me and take me home? Thinking of this, I felt deep sorrow and regret, and said to Master in my heart, “Practitioners must completely remove these desires, attachments and obsession with ordinary people’s Internet media.” I knew I had to remove these attachments regardless of how hard it seemed, that I couldn’t let myself go like this. I knew I must take my cultivation more seriously in the future.

Two hours after I started sharing understandings with my wife, the urinary pain and other discomforts suddenly disappeared. I felt very comfortable – and quite hungry again! Master! You have shouldered everything for me, cleaned my body and eliminated my black matter!

The next morning, I felt great when I awoke. Everything including my urine and stomach were all normal, without the slightest pain. I went to the tourist attractions after breakfast as usual. While I was walking across the grass, I looked up at the sky and said to myself, “Master! I can’t express how grateful I am for everything you have done for me! I will focus on truly cultivating well and constantly guiding myself according to the Fa. I will look inward and remove more hidden attachments and do the three things well, more wholeheartedly. I will walk back home with Master’s guidance!”

The above is my sharing. Please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.

Thanks Master and thanks to fellow practitioners!