The cultivation experiences of constantly looking inward
By a Falun Dafa Western practitioner in Australia
Greeting Master！
Greeting fellow practitioners!
I obtained the Fa in late 2010 and cultivate alone in regional Western Australia. I had a clerical career for over 20 years, and I now use those skills to fulfil my vow and help Master save sentient beings.
1. Fa Study and Truth Clarification
I have always made daily Fa study a priority. Daily Fa study has been the rock-solid foundation of my cultivation. I have always managed to find someone who will study online with me; I believe Master helps arrange this. This has kept me motivated and focused. Currently, I read a lecture of Zhuan Falun in the morning, and I read an hour of conference lectures in the evening.
Master said,
“For example, when everyone is sitting in the lotus position and you feel a lot of pain, you might see that nobody is taking their legs down, and so you would be embarrassed to take yours down. That compels you then to extend the length of the exercise.” (“Teachings at the Conference in Singapore”)
I have found this principle to be true for studying. The people I have found to study with are always people who I wouldn’t want to see me slacking off. If the person I study with never misses a day and never stops early, neither will I and If the same is true for them then it’s a mutually incentivising arrangement.
Daily Fa study has ensured I have kept up with the Fa rectification – or at least I hope I have kept up.
I spent many years trying all sorts of truth clarification, and slowly enlightened that subtlety is needed when clarifying to rural Australians. I also realised that as the only Dafa disciple in regional west Australia, the sentient beings I am responsible for are the regional population spread across this vast state.
After paying attention to hints from Master in February 2017, I took the initiative to start a project of mailing the organ harvesting flyers to every small, medium, and large town in regional Western Australia. I believe mailing flyers to regional WA was a big part of the mission I vowed to undertake. I have sent out over 92,000 flyers and I now only have a small number of the largest towns and cities left to do. I think I might be able to complete this mission by the end of 2022. There are Perth practitioners who have supported this project and I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them.
I have also taken the initiative to send letters or emails to certain groups when the opportunity presented itself. I once sent an email to every primary school and high school principal in WA – over 1,000 of them. I alerted them to the true nature of Confucius Institutes after I noticed there was one at the University of Western Australia and it was advertising its services to schools across the state.
When I read an article about a Chinese smart television brand TCL, having been found to contain a backdoor security issue, I mailed a letter to the manager of every electronic store in WA that stocked the TCL brand. The implication here is that the backdoor was deliberately installed by the Chinese communist party.
In 2020 the CCP launched an economic coercion campaign against Australia because we called for an independent inquiry into the CCP-virus origins. The CCP targeted export industries including wine and meat. I took the opportunity to mail a letter and several flyers to over 230 wineries in WA. I also sent emails to every abattoir sales representative in the state.
I hope that I have reached everyone that Master wanted me to reach, and I hope I can reach even more in the time we have left.
2. Breaking Through the Attachment to Fame
I help to proofread the Epoch Times every week. Shortly before a deadline one day, I was expecting the next page to proofread but I hadn’t heard from anyone, so I went into the messaging app our team uses and found that it had logged me out and I hadn’t noticed. I quickly logged back in and saw that the final two pages were ready for proofing and people had sent messages wondering where I had gone. I apologised for my absence and quickly got everything done with the help of another practitioner who had to proofread one of the pages for me because I now didn’t have time.
Afterward, I felt extremely bad because I have always had a very strong desire to be reliable and I always experience painful, crushing emotions when I fail in this regard. I was embarrassed and regretful and I had a desperate sense of having lost face and a fear of being judged.
Later that night, after I finished studying online with another practitioner, I told her what had happened. She recognised the type of attachment and called it “fame.” I immediately knew she was right. Wanting to be reliable is a good thing, but the deeper motivation in my case was bad. It was all about reputation and fame.
Soon after that, I was lying in bed feeling agitated, so I turned my focus inward with the intention of looking as deeply as I could for my fame attachment. Right away I felt myself go so deeply into my own mind that it felt like I was in a stone dungeon at the very lowest level of a castle. I had a sense of being at the “bottom of the barrel”.
When I was down there in that deep place, I was shown my deepest notions related to fame. They appeared as statements; I could see the words. They materialised in front of me in slow motion. I watched about three or four statements appear and because they were moving at a slow speed, I was able to perceive clearly that each one of them was false. I was standing there watching them and thinking, “That’s not true. That’s a lie. Nope, that’s not true either.” All of the statements were notions that were part of my false self and none of them was true. As soon as I admitted to myself that each statement was untrue it disappeared.
I hesitated for a moment before admitting that the final statement was false, and I felt someone gently prompted me. After the final statement disappeared, I became aware of Master’s presence, although I couldn’t see him. My first reaction was the thought that I should prostrate myself but then I understood that I didn’t need to kowtow physically; it was enough that my mind was full of respect and gratitude. I then fell asleep and had a dream.
I dreamt that there was a place in my mind where there was a small corrugated-shaped wall that was limestone in colour. A snake was hidden up against the wall; its body shape matched to the S curves and its skin tone matched to the colour. The place was in shadow making it impossible to see the snake. But in my dream, a light suddenly flooded that place and the snake, realising it was exposed, quickly slithered away.
When I woke up, I could recall everything except what the slow-motion words had said. My understanding is that this was the forgetting that happens when a part of us has been fully cultivated and gets locked away on the cultivated side.
3. Letting go of Fundamental Attachment
Reflecting on this experience I think ‘fame’ was a fundamental attachment for me. Growing up in a regional town with a small population, and my dad was a lawyer, you can feel a little bit famous quite easily.
I remember on one of my report cards, a primary school teacher wrote something like, “Susan thinks she is special and should be treated differently from the other kids.” I always had a hidden notion that I’m somehow special and have craved the feeling I got when I’m treated as special by someone.
Also, I developed a chronic daydreaming habit during primary school, which continued after I became an adult. One of my most common daydreams was of being interviewed in front of cameras because I’m famous for some reason.
Master said,
“…if you had wanted to accomplish something in ordinary society, every one of you could have been a billionaire, every one of you could have been famous, and every one of you could have been among society’s elite.” (“Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day”)
Deep down whenever I read this piece of Fa, I felt like he was referring to me and that I had been destined for fame. But I’m extremely glad it didn’t happen because I know without a doubt that I would not have handled it well and I would have lost de and incurred large amounts of karma.
Master said,
“What a cultivator works on is always him or herself, and even the slightest change to your human thinking amounts to an improvement and will be witnessed by divine beings.” (“A Congratulatory Letter to the Fa Conference of Europe”)
I understand that the dream of the snake leaving means that I have now largely broken through the attachment to fame and Master has eliminated the demonic creature that was aligned with that attachment. Although there haven’t been major changes in my human surface, I understand that there have been big changes in microscopic realms. I am now finding it easier to observe my mind when it is daydreaming and stop doing it.
4. The One-Hour Version of Exercise Two
In 2018, new music that included a one-hour version of exercise two came out. I tried to do the one-hour version a couple of times, but I stopped each time because it was painful to hold my arms up that long and it made me feel nauseated. I’m ashamed to say I dismissed the one-hour version as something I didn’t have to do. I used the excuse that I already had a very stable exercise routine, and it was too much trouble to change it.
My family members are non-practitioners, I work full-time, I have a good study routine, I am involved in multiple projects to clarify the truth, and in 2018 when the new music came out, I was doing all five exercises daily, so I allowed myself to think that I was already doing enough, and I didn’t need to do more exercises or more of anything.
Time passed and suddenly one day I accidentally missed morning exercises. I normally did all four standing exercises before righteous thoughts in the morning, and I did the sitting exercise in the evening. This had been my routine for many years, and I never missed a day. But this morning I didn’t hear any of my alarms. I was genuinely shocked. And then within a week, it happened again. It was very strange. I didn’t know what was happening.
Very quickly the situation got worse. The first couple of times I had missed the exercises unconsciously, but then I started doing it consciously and within a few weeks I wasn’t able to get up to do the exercises in the morning at all. It was like my willpower had just been switched off completely. My self-discipline no longer seemed to exist. I was bewildered.
I was worried – very worried – but I couldn’t break through. I talked to a couple of city practitioners, but their understanding didn’t help, and I noticed that I had resentment and jealousy. I was blaming outwardly and seeking external help. A third practitioner I talked to agreed that my situation was very worrying, but this didn’t help either. Since talking to fellow practitioners wasn’t helping, I didn’t mention it again and I just kept it to myself.
Master said,
“As I said the other day, many people practice qigong with wrong thoughts on their minds. Though they are practicing a standing exercise there with their hands and legs shaking from fatigue, their minds are not at rest.” (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun)
As I pondered my cultivation state, I had to admit to myself that although I had done the exercises every day for approximately eight years, my consciousness had wandered off every single time. It was my daydreaming habit. How could my exercises have had any effect if I was daydreaming through them?
I continued to diligently study the Fa throughout this tribulation, but my righteous thoughts were very weak. I felt that my cultivation state had regressed terribly. This tribulation lasted many months.
Although I was deeply concerned, my heart remained determined to continue cultivating, even when I felt like I was completely failing and couldn’t possibly succeed. I cultivate in delusion and cannot perceive my cultivated side. I just had to keep going with every other aspect of cultivation, and not succumb to a fear that I would fail because I wasn’t doing the exercises regularly.
5. Making a Breakthrough
Then, one day I started trying to pay more attention to righteous thoughts. I used a sub-category on Minghui to specifically read sharings about righteous thoughts. Whenever I could do my righteous thoughts in private, I would say the formulas out loud to force my mind to concentrate and I would try to picture the word “Mie”. Very quickly my righteous thoughts started getting stronger.
Days later I was looking at my Dafa music downloads and I suddenly decided to try doing the one-hour version of exercise two. Happily, I made it through the whole hour. A few days later I decided to try changing my morning alarms. After a few times of successfully getting up to do the standing exercises including the one-hour version of exercise two I felt hopeful again, although I still wasn’t succeeding in getting up every day.
Then one morning a thought came into my mind as if it was put there. I realised that when my alarms go off, if I consciously decide not to get up, I’m choosing the path the evil forces want me to take which is the same as choosing evil. Another way to look at it is if I don’t get out of bed to do my exercises it’s because it is uncomfortable to get up early and it’s uncomfortable to do the exercises. Seeking comfort is an attachment stemming from my demon nature. If I knowingly go along with my demon nature, aren’t I choosing evil over good? Now when my alarms go off, I remind myself that it is a choice between good and evil that I’m making every morning.
Only after I started writing this sharing, did I finally see the bigger picture and realise that my tribulation with the exercises came about because I disregarded the one-hour version of exercise two. I think the most important part of this experience is that I persisted with other aspects of cultivation, such as Fa study and clarifying the truth, even though I was struggling and felt like I was failing in one aspect of cultivation.
6. Understanding Zhen Shan Ren
I have often pondered the English translations of Zhen, Shan, Ren, and understand that English words lack the depth of meaning when compared with traditional Chinese characters.
I understand that “truthfulness” means to not deliberately lie, but as human beings we learn to unconsciously lie in everyday life. I realised that a deeper aspect of truthfulness is to be brutally honest with myself about my motivations and the attachments hidden behind my thoughts.
I have also found that a big aspect of compassion is forgiving myself for all the dumb things I have ever said or done in my life. And I have said and done many, many dumb things, and the old forces have tormented me with those memories. My inner voice has always been my harshest critic, so developing compassion for myself has been a long and challenging process.
When it comes to Ren, there are many English words used to translate it. Tolerance, endurance, and forbearance are commonly used. From my experiences, the words stoicism, tenacity and perseverance are also quite appropriate.
Master said,
“There is this saying: The great Fa is boundless—cultivation depends entirely on your heart; as for how high your cultivation level can reach, it all depends on your endurance and your ability to bear hardship.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
For a long time, I didn’t think I had much forbearance, but now I realise that despite the constant onslaught of tribulations from the old forces and even when I was enveloped in a dark cloud of confusion, doubt and fear, I have persevered in my cultivation every day no matter what.
I have always felt unworthy of the future position that being a Dafa cultivator makes possible. But isn’t that exactly how the old forces think? They think we are unworthy and that’s why they create all the tribulations we endure, including the persecution. But Master says he has made use of their plans. I’ve come to understand that our truthfulness with ourselves about our flaws and attachments, our honesty in admitting when we are wrong, our ability to think of others first and look at things from others perspectives, our “He’s right, And I’m wrong” attitude, and our perseverance through all the many tribulations we experience are what is making us worthy.
Master said,
“He’s right, And I’m wrong” –(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong”, Hong Yin III)
Master said,
“When a person cannot see things as they truly are, yet still believes in the divine; still resists the currents of this world and even transcends it; and still looks inward when experiencing friction or strife, difficulties, or injustice and makes a priority of virtuous thought and conduct on his part, then what he is doing is indeed developing spiritually. Any higher beings that witness this will find the person worthy of becoming divine. And doing this is what makes it possible for you to achieve spiritual perfection. You are beings of that caliber.” (Greetings to the Dafa Disciples Attending the Fa Conference of Europe)
For several years after I obtained the Fa, I would occasionally hear a practitioner talk about feeling inner happiness after taking up cultivation, but I didn’t experience that, and I wondered if I ever would. I have noticed in recent weeks that I have become a person who is always cheerful. Sometimes when I reflect on my cultivation, I experience moments of pure joy.
These are some of my understandings at my limited level.
Thank you Master!
Thank you fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2021 Australia Online Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)
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中文翻譯:
不断向内找的修炼体会
文：澳大利亚西人大法弟子
尊敬的师父好！
各位同修大家好！
我于二零一零年底得法，在西澳的偏远地区独自修炼。我曾从事过二十多年的文职工作，现在我用这些技能来履行我的誓约，助师救度众生。
一、学法与讲清真相
我一直把每日学法作为首要任务。每日学法是我修炼的坚实基础。为了使我有学法的动力，也为了使我学法时保持注意力，我一直在努力寻找能在网上一起学法的同修，我相信师父帮我安排了这些。目前，我每天早上学一讲《转法轮》，晚上学一个小时的各地讲法。
师尊说：“比如说大家都盘腿，痛的很厉害，可是一看大家都没有拿下腿来，你也就不好意思拿下来了，那么就促使你延长了时间。”[1]
师父讲的这个法理我觉得对学法也适用。我找到的一起学法的同修，总是那个我不愿意让其看到我偷懒的人。如果和我一起学法的同修从未错过一天，也从未提早下线，那么我也不会。如果他们也是这样的心态，那么这个安排就有互相督促的作用。
每日学法使我跟上了正法進程，或者至少我希望自己跟上了。
我也很重视讲真相。我花了多年时间尝试各种讲真相的方法。我慢慢发现，在向澳大利亚乡村居民讲真相时，需要细致深入。我还意识到，作为西澳偏远地区的唯一的大法弟子，我负责救度的众生是整个西澳偏远地区的人口。
二零一七年二月，我从师父的点化中悟到后，我开始了向西澳偏远地区的每个大、中、小城镇邮寄中共活摘器官传单的讲真相项目。我认为向西澳偏远地区邮寄传单是我发愿承担救度众生使命中的一个重要部分。我已经寄出了超过九万两千份传单，现在只剩下少数大的城镇需要做。我想可能会在二零二二年底前完成这项任务。有珀斯的同修支持这个项目，我想借此机会感谢他们。
有机会时，我也给一些团体寄过信或发过电子邮件。我曾给西澳的每一所小学和高中的校长，超过一千人，各发了一封电子邮件。我提醒他们要注意孔子学院的真实性质，因为当时我注意到在西澳大学有一所孔子学院，而且它还向全州的学校進行宣传推广。
当我读到一篇关于中国智能电视品牌TCL被发现含有后门安全问题的文章后，我给西澳每个贩卖TCL品牌的电子商店的经理邮寄了一封信。在信中我告诉他们，这个后门是中共故意安装的。
二零二零年，中共对澳大利亚发起了经济制裁，因为我们呼吁对中共病毒的来源進行独立调查。中共的制裁目标是澳洲出口行业，包括葡萄酒和肉类。我借此机会向西澳的二百三十多家酒厂邮寄了一封信和传单。我还向西澳的每个屠宰场的销售代表发送了电子邮件。
我希望我能接触到师父希望我接触的每一个人，并希望在正法最后阶段剩下的时间里能接触到更多的人。
二、突破对名的执着
我每周都帮忙校对英文《大纪元时报》。有一天，快到截稿时，我正等待着下两页的校对，但我没有收到任何消息，于是我進入我们团队收发消息的应用程序，却发现我在应用程序中是处于退出的状态，而我却没有注意到。我很快又登录了，看到需要校对的最后两页已经准备好了，人家已经发来多条信息，想知道我去哪了。我为自己的缺席道歉，并在另一位同修的帮助下迅速完成了所有工作，因为我时间不够，她不得不为我校对其中的一页。
事后，我的感觉非常糟糕，因为我一直有一个非常强烈的愿望，就是成为一个可靠的人。当我在这方面没做好时，我就非常痛苦，心里特别难受。我觉得尴尬和后悔，我有一种绝望的感觉，觉得自己丢了面子，害怕被人指指点点。
那天晚上，我和另一位同修在网上学完法后，我告诉她发生的事情。她辨认出这种执着，说这是对“名”的执着。我立刻意识到她是对的。想成为可靠的人是一件好事，但是想想我的情况，更深层的动机是不好的，这都是为了名誉和名声。
此后不久，我躺在床上感到很烦躁，于是我向内找，打算尽可能深地找到这种对名的执着。我一下子感到深入到了自己的头脑中，同时感觉自己就象在一座城堡最底层的石头地牢里。我有一种处在最底层的感觉。
当我在那个深渊里时，我看到了自己与“名”有关的最深层的观念。它们以陈述声明的形式出现，我可以看到这些文字。它们缓慢地在我面前出现。我看到大约三四句话，由于它们以缓慢的速度移动，我能够清楚地觉察到它们都是错误的。我站在那里看着它们，想：“这个不是真的。那个是谎言。不，那个是不真的。”所有陈述的观念，都是我“假我”的一部分，没有一个是真的。当我承认每句话都是不真实的时候，它就消失了。
在承认最后一句话是假的之前，我犹豫了一会儿，而且感到有人在轻轻地提示我。在最后一句话消失后，我意识到师父就在身边，尽管我看不到他。我的第一反应是认为我应该跪下来，但后来我明白了，我不需要磕头，只要心中充满尊敬和感激就够了。然后我就睡着了，做了一个梦。
我梦见在我的脑海中有一个地方，那里有一小堵波浪形状的墙，颜色是石灰岩的颜色。有一条蛇藏在墙边，它的身体呈现出与这堵墙相同的S波浪形状，而且蛇皮的颜色与墙的颜色相同。因为这个地方处于阴影处，根本不可能看到那条蛇。但在我的梦中，一束光突然照亮了那个地方，那条蛇意识到自己被暴露了，它迅速地溜走了。
当我醒来时，我可以回忆起所有的事情，除了那些缓慢移动的文字。我对此的理解是，这是我们修好的那部分被隔开而导致的遗忘。
三、去除根本执着
回顾这段经历，我认为“名”是我的根本执着。我在人口稀少的城镇长大，我的父亲是一名律师，可以很容易的感到自己小有名气。
我记得在我的一张成绩单上，一位小学老师的评语说：“苏珊认为自己很特别，应该与其他孩子被区别对待。”确实，我一直有一种隐藏的观念，即我在某种程度上很特别，我渴望当自己被特殊对待的感觉。
此外，我在小学期间养成了经常做白日梦的习惯。长大后，这个习惯还在继续。我最爱幻想的就是由于某种原因我出名了，我在镜头前接受采访。
师父说：“…要想在常人社会中做点什么，你们个个都是亿万富翁，你们个个都是这个社会中的名人，你们个个都是很高阶层的人。”[2]每当我读到这段法的时候，内心深处都觉得是在说我，我以前可能是注定要出名的。但我很高兴这没有发生，因为毫无疑问，我很可能会飘飘然，不知所措。我会因此而失去德并招致大量的业力。
师父说：“修炼者永远是修自己，人心小小的变化就是提高，众神都看的见。”[3]
我理解梦见蛇跑掉，意味着我现在已经基本突破了对名的执着，师父已经消灭了那个执着背后的魔。虽然我人的表面没有大的变化，但我知道自己的微观世界中发生了很大的变化。现在当我开始做白日梦时，我更容易察觉并抓住它和制止它。
四、一小时的第二套功法
在二零一八年，明慧网发表了一小时的第二套功法炼功音乐。之后，我尝试过几次炼一个小时的第二套功法，但是每次都没能坚持下来，因为长时间举着胳膊，感到酸痛难忍，还会感到恶心。我很惭愧，我停止了炼一小时的第二套功法，认为这不是必须要炼的。借口是我每天的炼功安排都是很稳定的，如果改变这些安排太麻烦了。
我家里人都不修炼。我做全职工作，每天学法时间安排有序，我参与了多个讲真相项目。我每天都是五套功法一步到位，因此在二零一八年，当一小时的第二套功法炼功音乐发布后，我就想我每天已经保证炼完五套功法，因此不必再增加炼功时间了等。
随着时间的推移，突然有一天，我不小心错过了早晨炼功时间。通常我都是在早晨六点全球发正念之前炼完动功，晚上炼静功，这已经是我多年的日常安排，每天从不落下。但是那天早晨，我没有听见闹铃，感到十分惊讶。但是在一周之内，这种情况又发生了一次。我感到非常奇怪，我不知道发生了什么。
很快情况变得更糟。前两次，我在不知道的情况下错过了炼功时间。但之后，我却开始刻意地错过炼功时间。到后来，在接下来的几周内，我根本都不起床炼功。就象是我的意志力完全消退，我的自律似乎不复存在。我感到迷惑不解。
我很担心，非常担心，但是突破不了。我和珀斯两位学员交流过此事，但是他们的交流对我没有帮助。我注意到我有怨恨心和妒忌心。我向外去抱怨，向外去求答案。第三位同修也同意我的状况堪忧，但是他也帮不了我。在和几位学员交流后都没有帮助的情况下，我不再和其他同修提及此事，只把它藏在心里。
师父说：“就象我那天讲过的，有许多人练功思想不正确，你看他在那站桩，累的手直哆嗦，腿也直哆嗦。可他脑子没有闲着，”[4]
反思自己的修炼状态，我承认尽管自己在过去八年每天坚持炼功，但是每次炼功时，我的意识都不能集中，这来自于我做白日梦的习惯。如果每次炼功，我都做白日梦，那我炼功如何会起作用呢？
尽管在魔难中，我坚持不懈地学法，但是我的正念很弱。我感到我的修炼状态已经倒退的很厉害。这个魔难持续了很久。
虽然我深感忧虑，但我仍然坚定地继续修炼，即使有时我觉得自己完全失败了，不可能成功。我在迷中修炼，不能感知自己修好的那一面。我只能继续在其它方面做好，让自己不屈服于担心自己会因为没有经常炼功而修炼失败的恐惧。
五、突破关难
后来有一天，我开始注意自己的发正念，并在明慧网搜索阅读一些同修对发正念的心得交流文章。之后，在发正念时，如果没有其他人在旁边，我都会把发正念的口诀大声的念出来，这迫使我的思想集中，并在自己的脑海中写出“灭”字来。很快的，我的正念开始变得越来越强。
几天之后，当我在看自己下载过的炼功音乐时，突然决定尝试炼一个小时的第二套功法。开心的是，我坚持了下来。又过了几天，我决定调整早晨闹铃的时间。经过了几次早晨的炼动功（包括一个小时的第二套功法），我再次感到自己的修炼充满希望，尽管我还未能每天坚持早起。
然后有一天早上，一个想法打入我的脑海，就象它被放在那里一样。我意识到，当我的闹铃响起时，如果我有意识地决定不起床，我就选择了旧势力要我走的路，这就等于选择了邪恶。另一种想法是，如果我不起床炼功，因为早起会不舒服，炼功也不舒服。这种求安逸是来自我魔性一面的执着。如果我明知故犯的顺从了魔性，那不就是选择了邪恶？现在我悟到，每当闹铃响的时候，我提醒自己这是我每天要在邪恶与善之间做出的选择。
直到我开始写这篇交流，我才终于看清了问题的所在，意识到我在炼功方面的魔难是因为我忽视了炼一小时第二套功法产生的。我觉得这次经历中最重要的一点是，虽然我们可能在修炼的某一方面苦苦挣扎，但我们必须在修炼的其它方面坚持了下来，比如学法和讲清真相等等。
六、感悟真、善、忍法理
我经常思索真、善、忍的英文翻译。我的理解是，与中文正体字相比，英语单词缺乏深度的意义。
我感悟“真”在人这一层的含义是不故意撒谎，但作为人类，我们在日常生活中会不自觉地学会撒谎。我意识到“真”更深层次的含义是，我们必须极其坦白和真诚的面对隐藏在自己思想背后的动机与执着。
我还发现善的一个重要方面，是原谅自己在生活中曾经说过或做过的所有愚蠢的事情。而我已经说过和做过很多很多蠢事，旧势力用这些记忆折磨着我。我内心的声音一直是我自己最严厉的批评者，所以对我而言，修出对自己的善是一个漫长而富有挑战性的过程。
有很多英文单词被用来翻译忍。譬如，容忍、忍耐和宽容是常用的。而我切身体验到坚毅、坚韧不拔、锲而不舍这些词也是相当合适的。
师父说：“有这样一句话：大法无边，全凭你那颗心去修，看你能修多高，全靠你的忍耐力和吃苦能力。”[4]
很长一段时间，我认为自己没有多少忍耐力，但现在我意识到，尽管旧势力不断地设置魔难，甚至当我被迷惑、怀疑和恐惧的乌云笼罩时，无论如何，我每天都坚持修炼。
我一直觉得自己不配获得大法弟子将来所能成就的果位。但这不正是旧势力的想法吗？他们认为我们不配，所以才会制造出我们所承受的一切魔难，包括迫害。但是师父将计就计。我理解到，当我们能正视自己的缺陷和执着，当我们能真诚的承认错误，当我们能够首先为他人着想并从他人的角度看问题，当我们持有：“对的是他 错的是我”[5]的态度，以及我们能够坚忍不拔的面对所经历的众多魔难，这是使我们配得上大法修炼者将来所成就果位之原因。
师父说：“在看不见真相中人还能信神，还能逆社会潮流而上，还能在矛盾中、困难、面对不公中向内找，首先摆正自己，这就是修炼，什么神看见都服气，所以才能圆满，你们就是这样的生命。”[6]
在我得法后的几年里，我偶尔会听到同修说起修炼后自己内心的喜悦，但我没有体验到，我也不知道自己将来是否能够体验到。最近几周，我注意到了自己变成了一个很开朗的人。当我反思自己的修炼时，我感受到了真实的喜悦。
以上是我目前有限的层次中的一些修炼体会。请同修慈悲指正。
谢谢师父，
谢谢同修。
注：
[1] 李洪志师父著作：《新加坡法会讲法》
[2] 李洪志师父著作：《世界法轮大法日讲法》
[3] 李洪志师父著作：《给欧洲法会的贺词》
[4] 李洪志师父著作：《转法轮》
[5] 李洪志师父著作：《洪吟三》〈谁是谁非〉
[6] 李洪志师父著作：《参加欧洲法会的大法弟子大家好！》
（二零二一年澳大利亚网上法会）