全职做大法项目的点滴体会 Sharing on Working Full Time in Dafa Project|
全职做大法项目的点滴体会 Sharing on Working Full Time in Dafa Project
悉尼 马駿 Maree from Sydney
Sharing on Working Full Time in Dafa Project
Maree from Sydney
Greetings respected Master and fellow practitioners!
I have been cultivating for 16 years since obtaining the Fa in February 1999.
Eliminating jealousy and letting go of the attachment towards money
For many years, I have always envied those practitioners who can work on Dafa projects on a full time basis. I felt that due to my own family and financial situation, I was unable to work on Dafa projects on a full time basis. A few years ago, the timing was not quite right and my husband also did not agree. I also had many things to learn and do in the various everyday companies I worked in.
As my family situation changed and the entire Fa rectification process progressed, I had an opportunity to work for a Dafa media project on a part time basis. At the same time, the company I was working for agreed to convert me to a part time role. The two added together meant I was able to maintain a decent salary as well as have time to look after my children, and also do Dafa work. Everything seemed to flow naturally.
When all was ready, I had no more excuses, yet my thoughts started doing all sorts of somersaults. Doubts rose in my mind. Suddenly all I could think about was my finances and expenditures and how much less I will be earning each day. For someone who hated planning financially, my thoughts were filled with money. I thought I had no attachment to money, but during that period, this hidden attachment was exposed.
Before, wherever I went, I would proudly talk about where I worked and how much I earned. A lot of people also envied me. Now it is all gone. I was afraid that my salary would not be as high as others around me, as well as losing my so-called social position. On the surface, I convinced myself and my husband that working on a Dafa project was truly a high level job, it is my duty, however, my inner turmoil continued. Every now and then, I would calculate how much I will earn after switching to part time with my existing company, then I would compare that to friends around me. My mind would only calm down after thinking that I didn’t lose out too much.
Before when reading Master’s Zhuan Falun, wherever fame and self-interest is mentioned, I always feel I don’t have much attachment in this area. Now, all these humanly thoughts and thought karma surrounded me causing me to question myself whether my choice was correct.
Once my own thoughts were not steadfast, more and more interference started. My husband continuously asked me to reconsider; my manager and colleagues were also trying to ask me to stay etc. Finally, my company suddenly changed their offer and said they were unable to convert my position to part time and hence if I wanted to stay I must work full time. If I wanted to work for the Fa rectification project, then obviously, I must resign.
If this is the case, I would basically have no income. This came as a shock to me and I almost gave up on the media role. Then I calmed down and thought about it. Fa rectification has almost reached the end. If I put the same amount of energy I used in every day work towards a Dafa project, then imagine how many more people I can save. I know there is not much time left and I also wanted to do more Dafa work. Now the opportunity has come, yet I was filled with a pile of attachments. I felt that I have let down Master and all those sentient beings.
In the end, I made the hard decision to resign. On the surface, I let go but my attachment was still there, so I would often hear colleagues, friends and family talking about so-and-so had a wage increase, or so-and-so had a step up. Later my manager from my previous company called asking me to go back because my replacement was not performing. He promised to increase my wage and give me flexible hours etc. This put my mind to turmoil again.
Once, during group Fa study, I came across “Jealousy” in Master’s Zhuan Falun. Master said, “Jealousy is very serious, because it directly impacts whether we can cultivate to Perfection. If jealousy isn’t eliminated, all the thoughts you’ve cultivated become fragile. ” (Lecture 7, Zhuan Falun). This is when I suddenly realised all my attachment to fame, self-interest and money arose from jealousy. Thinking back, my jealousy is quite strong. I always wanted to be better than others, earn more money than others, have higher position than others. All these attachments come from my hidden attachment of jealousy.
I finally truly understood why Master said “There’s a rule: a person who doesn’t get rid of jealousy while cultivating cannot achieve a True Fruition—he definitely won’t achieve a True Fruition.” (Zhuan Falun). After realising this, I took more notice of my thoughts every minute of the day. As soon as jealous thoughts came up, I would try my best to eliminate it. I realised that my attachment to showing off, being overjoyed, competitiveness and refusing to be criticised, all came from this extremely strong jealousy. I found that when I realised this point, Master helped me to eliminate a lot of these matters from my field and let my heart become calm and carefree. Despite my finances becoming tighter than before, with Master’s help, our overall family income did not decrease too much. As long as we are on the Fa, our paths will become wider as we cultivate. After taking on the Dafa media project full time role, along with other practitioners, we work together, we share cultivation experiences, we study the Fa together… the entire work environment is pushing me forward in my cultivation. Despite losing out financially, what I have gained is much more valuable: a huge leap in my own cultivation. I felt this is our venerable Master’s intricate arrangement for me, to put a halt to my continued drift in the everyday world, moving further and further away from the main cultivation body.
Seeing the better side of every practitioner
At first, I thought doing Dafa work will be easy going. I felt it was a bit like me resigning from my busy day time job and going into a bit of a career break. I was never so wrong. It was not easy at all. One xinxing test followed another.
After I arrived, a few practitioners who were originally working on the project left. We continuously experienced constant staff movement. When faced with losing key staff members, at first I felt extremely angry and agitated and felt it was not fair. I was unable to understand why they would leave.
After a few days, I thought to myself: isn’t this all a test? Wanting to be lazy in a project? No way! I must look within myself. This is easy to say but hard to do. But if I can really take a step back, I can see things in a whole new light. Master said in Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun: You know, when a person reaches the Arhat level he’s not fazed by anything he comes across. He’s not the least bit concerned about any human things and he’s always upbeat. It doesn’t matter how much he loses out, he’s upbeat and doesn’t mind. When you can really do that, then you’ve achieved the initial Arhat Fruition.
After calming down, I thought about it. Every practitioner has done a lot for each truth clarification project they are involved in. It does not matter the reason they left, I suddenly saw each person’s bright side and their selfless contribution to the project. Everyone comes from different worlds and has different personalities. No matter how different their personalities are, each practitioner is truly special. Perhaps much of their well-cultivated self has been placed aside. Much of what they are displaying are used to expose my attachments, so I can improve in my own cultivation. If I didn’t have the attachment to laziness and hoping to have an easy time, then there perhaps won’t be so many staff movements. Whenever things happen, it is always a good opportunity to cultivate myself.
There are many pre-destined relationships. When people leave, there is destined to be people joining. So when suddenly faced with staff movement, I would calm myself down and tell myself that as long as we have Master and Dafa, there is nothing we cannot accomplish. As long as I overcome my laziness, everything will come to fruition.
Just as expected, despite undergoing staff changes and reduction in staff, under the effort of all practitioners involved in the Dafa media project, we increased our newspaper pages and increased the company’s profit. As long as I am on the Fa, Master is helping me everywhere. For example, design is not my specialty so when faced with a page requiring more aesthetic presentation, I would feel a bit lost. This is when our venerable Master would project the design and artwork into my mind. Sometimes it will come when I am sending forth righteous thoughts and sometimes it would be when I am doing the exercises.
Of course at the same time I still have to improve my technical skills and study large amounts of layout designs. Whilst working on the media project, I continuously come across surprisingly pre-arranged events. Such as, in my previous everyday persons company, I was forced to learn some skills which were not within my responsibility, such as creating SQL reports. At the time, I complained that our IT department was so lazy, they pushed these tasks for our finance department to complete. I had no choice but to learn it. However, I never knew that it would come to use at the newspaper! I truly felt that everything I learnt was pre-arranged by Master.
Improving my bad temper and looking within myself
During the few round of staff changes, I truly felt that my temper and patience was extremely poor. Whilst training new starters, I cannot stand the fact that people make the same mistakes more than twice, I was always blaming others for learning too slow and did not look within to assess my own teaching methods. During a conflict, Master compassionately showed me how I treated others.
Once, there was a mistake in a table in one of the articles. I saw the mistake and immediately called the practitioner who was responsible for this article. At the time I was extremely upset. I thought the practitioner will also be upset, however, he sounded very calm, giving me a feeling that he did not care too much. I became even angrier and started to argue with him.
At the time, I did not look within at all, let alone my tone of speech. This matter passed and I did not think too much of it. After a few months, the same thing happened again but this time the roles were reversed. I was the one who made a mistake by forgetting an advertisement. The salesperson was very straight forward and angrily blamed me on the phone. At the time I was so upset I started to argue with her. I was thinking to myself: I am already very upset that I linked the wrong ad, why is she is so unforgiving. The mistake has already been made, and the newspaper has been published, there’s nothing I can do. At most, we will just run 1 extra week for the client. The pages and ads were checked by a second person, they didn’t realise the mistake either. We are so short staffed at the moment and everyone is new. All the pressure is on me, so it is understandable that I am bound to make some mistakes, etc etc. These upset thoughts, thinking that everything is unfair continued to surface. I was looking outside, not within myself.
After hanging up the phone, I calmed myself down and felt that I was not like a cultivator at all. I cannot believe I reacted with so much anger. In actual fact, I was in the wrong, I was the one who made the mistake. The reason must be that week I didn’t study enough Fa and nor did I cultivate myself well, thus causing financial loss for the newspaper and this salesperson. Looking at things from the salesperson’s point of view, it is not easy to sign an ad booking. I must value every ad on our newspaper.
The next day after our weekly Fa study, I shared about this event. The sales involved said, “I cannot accept the fact that after making a mistake, your attitude is so off-handed. It is as if you don’t care.” When she said that, I felt so wronged, yet what she has said sounds exactly like how I felt when I blamed the other practitioner many months ago. Master has arranged events in a way so that I am in his shoes. I recall Master’s poem in <Hong Yin III‧ Who’s right, Who’s wrong>: “‘He’s right, And I’m wrong,’ What’s to dispute?” I truly thank Master creating this opportunity for me to remember that during a dispute, I must look at the matter from the other person’s point of view, always think about other person’s feeling before speaking and stop finding excuses for myself. I must look within myself.
Cultivate as you did at the beginning, and you are sure to succeed
After attending this year’s New York Fa conference, I truly felt that I have re-joined the cultivation ranks. For many years after graduating from university, I have been busy with my career, marriage and children. I feel I have fallen behind on my cultivation. Perhaps my life was admired by many everyday persons, but due to my pursuit of this perfect everyday life, I slipped further and further within the ordinary world.
On the surface, I did a bit of Dafa projects here and there, I also participated in major Dafa events. Most of the time, it is to make myself feel good that I was still doing the Three Things and that I have not fully fell behind. However, after each Dafa event, I would slip back into my ordinary person’s ways and mindset. This situation lasted until I attended the New York Fa Conference. This was when I realised ever since graduating from Uni and becoming part of the adult society, I did not truly cultivate myself and I have unknowingly, bit by bit, slipped further and further away from the standard of a cultivator.
This fall is very gradual so it is not easy to detect. However, day by day, year by year, as I became more and more in contact with everyday things, I slowly became an ordinary person. My work environment consisted of ordinary persons, my family had more ordinary persons compared to cultivators, my friends were also ordinary persons. When I was busy with the everyday world, Dafa became less and less prominent in my mind.
Before I started working full time for the Dafa media project, I seldom read Minghui or studied the Fa. When Master’s new articles came out, it always took me forever to finish reading it. I was sleepy during group Fa study. I would only do the exercises when I am unwell or when I really had nothing else to do. Sending forth righteous thoughts was something that was last on my list to do, I’d be lucky to do it even once a day. I knew my cultivation was not good at all, but I did not want to face my own shortcomings, so I continued to drift along day by day.
Since 2007 due to my studies, career and family, I was unable to attend any large scaled US Fa conferences, until this year in New York. After seeing the cultivation of US practitioners who worked in media and listening to Master personally teaching the Fa, I felt extremely ashamed of myself. After sharing with other US practitioners, I truly felt that they were looking within themselves with every thought. If they come across the slightest unhappy thought in their mind, they would immediately look within to see what the attachment could be and eliminate it. There is not much time left. I felt that I cannot lie to myself anymore. I must take responsibility for my cultivation and those sentient beings who are waiting for me to save them.
Cultivation is a very serious matter and those who do not meet the required level will fall behind. Although I did not go through mainland practitioners’ life or death ordeals, but many overseas practitioners like me face a huge attachment – the attachment to comfort and ease. This is basically my current life-death ordeal.
During the 2015 New York Fa conference, Master said: “Clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings are what you need to accomplish. There is nothing else for you to accomplish. There is nothing else in this world that you need to accomplish. Those are the things that you need to work toward, and yet some people no longer pay much attention to even their own cultivation, and have instead made a priority of ordinary things. Haven’t you strayed from the path of Dafa disciples’ cultivation, then? (Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference). I felt that each word etched itself into the minutest particles of my being. Master’s Fa has once again woken me. How much have I worked towards saving those sentient beings who are waiting for me? When Fa rectification ends, can I face Master and say: I have tried my best”?
Lastly, I would like to finish my sharing with Master’s Hong Yin:
Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions
A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks the path of Fa-rectification
confident and poised
(Hong Ying II)
If there is anything inappropriate in my sharing above, please let me know.
Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.
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