Finding true thoughts in cultivation


Mimi NL


Hello respected Master and fellow practitioners!



I found Dafa 5 years ago from a friend in high school when I was in year 11.


When I read Zhuan Falun, I was so moved. I had a simple thought: to return to my true self. But later I stumbled so many times because of my attachments. Many of the troubles were due to myself: my false self and human attachments. I have learnt positive lessons. These are my experiences in getting rid of selfish thoughts and finding true thoughts in cultivation.




Removing the attachment to zealotry, overcoming interference

I lived with my auntyfs family, and my mum and dad occasionally came to visit me from Vietnam. My mum became scared that practicing Dafa would interfere with my studies. In the first two years of obtaining Dafa, I faced a lot of interference in cultivation. For example:

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1.    My family and extended family members all told me I was too young to make decisions about my belief. They kept telling me that practicing Dafa would distract me from achieving high grades at school.



2.    When mum saw that I was on the computer to study the Fa with practitioners and read sharings a lot, she put a password on the computer and said that I can only use the computer for things not related to Dafa.



3.    Later my mum said that I was not allowed to practice Dafa at home, or read any Dafa-related materials at home. When I did, my aunt would take away the article or lecture I had printed out and hide it. My mum and dad often scolded me and said many things against the Fa because they were deceived by the CCP propaganda. My uncle and aunt sometimes also did this. They would not listen when I clarified the truth.



4.    Once, I was reading Zhuan Falun and my uncle snatched the book away from me and told me to do my work. We were caught in a tug-of-war and I eventually got the book back. My mum saw this and was very angry with me. I went to my room to put all the Dafa books into a box, and took the box outside to the front of the house and sat outside for a long time. I was so upset. I told my mum that what she was doing was so unfair and that I would not go inside the house until she took away all the restrictions.

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5.    Well, my mum didnft change her heart and even said that she would kick me out of home if I kept practicing Dafa at home! I became really scared of her. She later moved her bed into my room to monitor me at every moment.



I looked within. I realized that I was making interference for myself. I had developed the attachment of zealotry. This is tied to my mentality of competitiveness in every day life. I was reading the Fa only to try to enlighten to new things to supposedly gattain moreh. I didnft have a sincere heart and my heart was full of pursuit to reaching Consummation.


After finding Dafa, I could sense many attachments in my family and friends so I intentionally started to talk less to them. I was trying to protect myself from supposedly gfalling down in levelsh. What a strange mentality! My eldest cousin said that I had a gsuperiority complexh and that I was so cold. Initially I came to Dafa with a simple heart to cultivate, but later this selfish attachment emerged and made my family feel as though I didnft want anything to do with them.

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When I realized this, I made sure that I was more considerate, and tried to be more humble. I slowly lost that esuperiority complexf. I started to study the Fa more sincerely and let go of supposedly reaching any higher level. I just wanted to assimilate to the Fa. During lunchtimes I would go to the school library and study the Fa- because I wasnft allowed to study the Fa at home and didnft know how to overcome the fear of my mum just yet.


My family was in deep danger if they kept having a negative opinion of Dafa and interfering with me. They are precious gods who have waited for this precious time. In addition to the CCP propaganda, I also played a part in causing them to think negatively about Dafa. I had to fix the damage.




I started to clarify the truth to my family more, especially to my mum. But I had all this resentment in my heart, and wanted to gwin the conversationh, so I ended up arguing with my family when I clarifed the truth – and couldnft help but talk back when my family said mean thingsc A fellow practitioner from my high school emailed me this passage from the Fa to encourage me.





From Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference:


gIf you, as Dafa disciples, want to effect change in a person when you clarify the truth and want to save him, you must not arouse the negative elements in that person. You must hold to being shan, and only then can you resolve problems that may arise and save that person.


I have talked with you about what shan is. Some will say that shan is when you smile at someone and come across as kind and genial. Yet that only amounts to a human being displaying friendliness. True shan is what a cultivator attains in the process of cultivation and cultivating goodness, and this is a genuine shan that is achieved by cultivationc When required, you must be rational and clearheaded like a cultivator, allowing your responsibilities and righteous thoughts to direct you, and only then will your true shan be displayedc And that is what compassion means--not some intentional display, show of human preference for this or that, or an instantiation of, "If you're good to me, then I will be shan toward you." It is offered unconditionally and has no thought of reward--it is fully for the sake of sentient beings.h


I let go of my fear of being kicked out of home. Dafa saved my life and I will forever hold on to Dafa no matter what happens. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate old forcesf interference, eliminate the evil harming my family and eliminate my fear. I studied the Fa and did the exercises at home again. My mum then scolded me a lot but I took these opportunities to clarify the truth to her. She and my aunt were deeply poisoned by CCP propaganda. I let go of the resentment, I just thought about my familyfs eternal future.


In the end I donft know how many times I ended up clarifying the truth to my family. I eventually let go of the resentment and spoke from my heart and did not argue. I felt calm when I clarified the truth in this way. All of this did not happen overnight because I was gradually letting these attachments go. My mum stopped saying anything, when I did the exercises and studied the Fa at home. Meanwhile, I had received good marks for the final year 12 exams. After this, all the restrictions were lifted away, and my family members felt that I became better again. My family started to realize the evilness of the CCP, and no longer said bad things about Dafa. Nowadays, my mum often helps to drive me to places when I need to go out to clarify the truth.




I stumbled because of laziness and lust

Through the past 4 years I have been involved in different projects. I was involved in NTDTV in script writing and later video editing. In Epoch Times, I was involved in layout for some newspaper pages and later writing articles. In the first three years of university, I was involved in about 2-3 of these roles at one time.


But at that time I wasnft diligent in my heart and stumbled. I was struggling with time management and thought it was because I didnft have enough time. Actually it was because I was lazy and didnft use time well. Because of being involved in more Dafa projects, more time was taken away from me and I felt uncomfortable that I had less time for myself. I used to do the exercises regularly, but I started to be more hesitant about doing the exercises because I would rather spend the little free time I had to grelaxh by watching TV, surfing the internet and reading books for fun. This wasted a lot of time that I could have used to do the exercises or FZN! I have to spend time more responsibly in the future and think less about myself.






Because I was watching TV and on the internet a lot, I faced many interferences in the form of lust and I didnft pass these tests. On TV and movies there are sometimes bedroom scenes. Instead of looking away, I was lured by them. The same applied to surfing the internet. I would sometimes stumble upon degenerate pictures or music videos and could not help but look... lustful thoughts occupied my mind everyday. I got stuck in a state where I was very aware of the attachment but could not break away. I felt so hopeless and ashamed. After such a mistake, I felt a lot of remorse for taking in such lustful content and would shortly afterwards kowtow to Master in tears, saying that I would do better next time. When next time came and I stumbled onto something else, I would fail the test again. This sort of thing happened about 10 to 20 times or maybe more! I donft know how many times I apologized to Master. Master, I am so sorry. I solemnly promise to do better from now on.



This year, I came to a passage that motivated me to let go of this attachment of lust altogether.


Taken from Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference – February 21 and 22, 1999, Los Angeles:


gQuestion: Master said that if deep inside a cultivator still stubbornly holds on to his most fundamental interests, his cultivation is not genuine.h


gTeacher: Let me tell you that cultivation is precisely about cultivating onefs mind—thatfs true cultivationch


gIf only your surface is changed while your nature remains the same, itfs not genuine. At a certain time or at a critical moment, [the attachment] will still show up. So if a personfs mind isnft changed, that is just covering things up with a false appearance. Changes must occur starting with your nature. Only that counts as genuinely changing yourself. In other words, you have to be responsible to yourself in cultivation, and you have to genuinely change yourself and let go of the bad things that you are attached to deep inside—only that is true letting go. If you seem to do everything right on the surface but deep inside you still guard and hold on to the things that you donft want to let go of, thatfs absolutely unacceptable. As you know, a Buddha or a God can give up his life for living beings and for the interest of the universe; they can give up anything, and even remain unmoved by it. So if you were taken up to their position, could you be like that? You couldnft. Of course, I would say that Buddhas and Daos wonft really encounter things like that, but that is their realm of mind. A person must truly change himself before that realm can be reached.h





@@I felt so ashamed. I was so far from being able to give up my personal interests for the universe. Even though I called myself a practitioner, I couldnft bring myself to change my nature. I had to change and find out the root of my attachment. I realised my attachment to lust is actually tied in with emotion. From a very young age, a part of me was seeking a pleasant relationship. The shows with bedroom scenes make people think about how supposedly wonderful it is to have the lust between a man and a woman. What a horrible attachment. From then on, I stayed away from such things.



Master said in Melt Into the Fa, Essentials for Further Advancement:


gA person is like a container, and he is whatever he contains. All of what a person sees with the eyes and hears with the ears are: violence, lust, power struggles in literary works, struggles for profit in the practical world, money worship, other manifestations of demon-nature, and so on. With his head filled with these, this kind of person is truly a bad person, no matter what he appears to bec On the other hand, if a person accepts the kind, traditional thoughts of mankind that have prevailed for thousands of years, believes in proper human behavior and standards, and is filled with all good things, what will this personfs conduct be like? Whether or not this person shows it, he is genuinely a good person.h


Letting go of fear in Shen Yun promotions

Being involved in promoting Shen Yun 2013 helped me to overcome many fears and doubts. In Shen Yun I had to be pure inside to offer the best to people during promotions. I had to be prepared. I practiced the Shen Yun Evaluation Level 1 script again and again, and made sure my dress and makeup was decent.


In the shopping centres, I was scared about approaching people passing by so I just stood there. But the other practitioners approached everyone with no hesitation whatsoever. I felt very moved and saw my weakness. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate my fear, especially fear of rejection. I started to approach anyone I could, and talked to them if they gave me a chance, because I didnft want them to miss the chance to see Shen Yun. At first I felt depressed when some people rejected me. Later I took it lightly and just hoped they could come see Shen Yun one day.





On certain days, people would express a lot of interests and take the flyers, but would not buy the tickets on the spot. I felt unsettled. Later we found that many of these people came back to buy tickets or to tell us they bought tickets online. "Cultivation depends on onefs own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by onefs Master." Zhuan Falun, Lecture 1.  If we are sincere, Dafa can lead people to be saved.


The hardest thing this year in Shen Yun promotion was in approaching the different offices in the city to remind people that Shen Yun is coming. I was so scared even though I started by accompanying another practitioner. I didnft know what to say and was scared of rejection. Later, I would have to do the main talking role myself. I had to ignore the fear, calm down and learn what to say. I calmed down gradually. More than 95% of the people we approached were very receptive and promised to post the flyer/poster on the noticeboard or leave it in the lunchroom for their colleagues to see. Several people became very excited and said gthank youh repeatedly, and said that they would definitely have to go to see Shen Yun. I later figured out that I had approached more than 100 different offices in Sydney.




Every opportunity is precious

Currently I am distributing the Epoch Times newspaper every Thursday morning. This year I collected organ harvesting petition signatures from family and friends, and from students and staff at university. At university, we held three Free China movie screenings. I did the Shen Yun level 2 evaluation so that if I have free time in the holidays, I can present Shen Yun to clubs. Every opportunity to clarify the truth is precious. Master is always arranging new opportunities so people can be saved. I have to take these opportunities when I can and not let them pass by.


I know I have to do better in sending righteous thoughts and doing the exercises, as I still struggle to do these consistently. I used to blame that I had no time. But Master would not have arranged a path where a disciple doesnft have time to do these important things. I know it is because I have to overcome lazyness.


I must always think - gAm I being sincere? Do I truly wish to help Master save this person? Do I still seek comfort?h - then most likely I can find my attachment. I have to be aware of what I am thinking and doing. Only through studying the Fa well can I distinguish my false thoughts from my true thoughts, and do better in helping Master save people.








I would like to finish by sharing a poem from Hong Yin.


Solid Cultivation


Study the Fa and gain the Fa

Focus on how you study and cultivate,

Let each and every thing

Be measured against the Fa.

Only then, with that,

Is it actually cultivation.


From Hong Yin, (October 7, 1994)


The above are all my limited understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.


Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!