做全職媒體工作的修煉體會

My Experience of Cultivating in a Full Time Media Job

Lily Liu

 

尊敬的師父好,各位同修大家好:

Venerable Teacher, fellow practitioners, Greetings!

 

我從20106月全職參與一項證實大法的媒體項目,至今三年有餘。在這三年中,我走向了修煉的成熟。對我來說,做媒體和修煉是融為一體的。下面談一談我在參與媒體項目過程中的修煉體會,不當之處,請同修慈悲指正。

I began working full time for a Dafa media project in June 2010. It has been more than 3 years now. In those 3 years, I gradually matured in my cultivation. To me, doing the job and cultivating are one and the same. Today I will share my cultivation experience in the media project. Please kindly point out anything that's not appropriate.

 

一、參與做媒體不是孤立的做事,是修煉

1. Participating in media work is not just about doing the work, it's also   cultivation.

 

修去不平衡的心

我剛剛來到項目中工作時,只是分擔一些廣告設計的工作,對個別版面做調整。隨著技能的提高,交給我的工作越來越多。我是一個不肯認輸的人,同時又有追求一團和氣的毛病,只要工作交給我,我都接下來做,不會說。但是時間一長,心裡就不平衡了。為什麼都成了我的活兒?難道就因為我不閒聊,不拖沓,一心埋頭幹,就都讓我來做嗎?我拿了這份工資,就可以這樣全都推給我嗎?這個問題糾纏了我很久,好一段差一段的過不去,很煩惱,忍不住時就發脾氣。直到有一天,不修煉的家人聽了我的抱怨之後說,你別幹那麼多,幹多了你會不平衡,報紙又不是你的,何必那麼認真?我聽了心中一震:這不平衡的心該去了呀!

 

Cultivating away the attachment of resentment

When I first started working in the media project , I was asked to do some graphic designing jobs for the advertisement section and also help improve the content and layout of the newspaper. However, as my skills improved, I was asked to do more and more work. I was the sort of person that didn't like to admit defeat or disagree with others, so I took on whatever was asked of me and would not refuse the tasks. As time went on, however, I started to feel unfair in my heart. Why was I given all the work? Was it because I was a responsible and a hard worker?  Of course I appreciated that I was being paid, but that didn't mean I had to take on all the work! For a long time, I couldn't get over this tribulation . Sometimes I was able to let it go and at other times I couldn't. I was very troubled by the tribulation. When I couldn't forbear anymore I would get quite angry. This went on until one day, after hearing my complaints, my family member who was not a practitioner said to me: Don't take on so much work! Taking on so much work would make you feel resentful. You don't own the paper, so why should you take it so seriously? Hearing this, I was startled. I realised it was time for me to get rid of the attachment of resentment. 

 

我問了自己幾個問題:你做到極限了嗎?真的不能承擔了嗎?承擔這些到底是為什麼?你放棄当初南澳的安逸生活來做全職的初衷是什麼?你修煉為什麼要看別人?為什麼拿你看到的別人做了多少當作自己不平衡的理由?……我開始與不平衡的這顆心較量。

I asked myself a few questions: have I really reached my limit ? Can I really not forbear anymore? For whom was I forbearing ? Why did I give up the comfortable lifestyle in South Australia and come to Sydney to do full time work in the media project? In my cultivation why did I look at others and what they were doing? Why did I keep looking at how little others had done and then feel resentful in my heart? ...... I began the process of dissolving the feeling of resentment.

 

師父在《二十年講法》中提到神韻項目時告訴我們:“……其實我跟大家說清楚點,神韻是救度眾生的,這都知道,可是你們想過嗎?那也是師父給你們開的一次互相配合、沒走出來的走出來的一次機會。

With the Shen Yun project, Teacher said in "20th Anniversary Fa Teaching": "...... Let me put things a bit more clearly. Shen Yun is meant to save sentient beings. While you all know that, has it occurred to you: Master is giving you an opportunity to work together and for those who haven't stepped forward to step forward."

 

我們從走入大法修煉的那一刻起,所有的一切都是師父洪大慈悲的恩賜,能夠有機會在證實法的項目裡工作,多么荣幸。我們為了今生能夠助師正法,不知在千萬年的輪迴中吃過多少苦才有今天的這些機緣。我不承認這顆不平衡的心,清除它,解體它!

The moment we entered cultivation in Dafa, everything was born of Teacher's grand compassion. To have the opportunities to work on projects that validated Dafa was a privilege and an honour! In order to have the opportunities to assist Teacher in rectifying the Fa, we probably had suffered for tens of millions of years through reincarnations. So I how could not see the attachment of resentment in me. I must eliminate and disintegrate it!

 

法理明晰了只是第一步,更重要的是要在關鍵時刻管好自己。再遇到工作鋪天蓋地壓下來的狀況時,只要不平衡的心一冒出來,我就消滅它,慢慢的我能把做的工作都視為自己份內的事,不再想著希望其他人分擔,不再想著希望協調人為我減負,也不去看別人是否比自己清閒了。當這顆心在這一層修煉境界中灰飛煙滅的時候,我感到內心得到了一層解脫,更加自由、自在。這就是修煉者的快樂,是常人不可能理解和擁有的樂趣。

Understanding the Fa principle was only the first step. It was even more important to be able to control oneself when the tests occurred.

 

While encountering overwhelming pressure from work, as soon as the attachment of resentment surfaced, I would eliminate it. Gradually I was able to treat the work as my own things and I no longer hoped others would come and share my burden; or hoping that the coordinator would reduce the workload for me. I no longer compared myself with others in terms of the workloads. As the attachment of resentment was eliminated thoroughly, I felt my heart unburdened and life became much easier. This was the joy of a cultivator, which everyday people could not never understand.

 

修去私心,修出寬容

我這一世從小的艱難境遇促成了我保護自己,要求別人甚至苛求別人的私心,已經不自覺了。很少去認真考慮他人的處境,善心不夠。

 

Cultivating Away Selfishness and Having Greater Tolerance for Others

In this lifetime, because of the hardship I had endured in childhood, I had become protective of myself. My selfishness which manifested in being demanding of others had become my second nature. I seldom considered others' situations and I was lacking in compassion.

 

每個星期三晚上,我都要到協調人家裡做副刊的核版工作。每次基本上從6點半做到10點。幾個月前的一天,我剛開始工作,突然協調人同修關了一半的燈。一下子光線就暗了。這時兩個校對的同修正在工作,其中一個沒有台燈。我雖然用電腦時不需要光線強,但是等到改字時就不行了。我問協調人同修:您要不要問下校對是否需要開燈?這時我心裡已經非常不爽了,但在礙面子心的促使下,沒有說我自己需要開燈,拿校對當作了擋箭牌去發問。校對同修很客氣,說:不用不用,對面的台燈也夠我用。結果一直到8點鐘就一半的燈,改字時看得我眼睛非常累。我整晚都在為這件事生氣:如果晚上8點之後電費才划算,那以後我8點之後再來。管他做完做不完,10點就走人,或者我把家裡的應急燈充好電帶出來用。轉天到辦公室,說起這個事氣就不打一處來,同修怎麼勸也無濟於事。我覺得自己簡直像個氣球一樣了,那分明是一種物質,越順著它下去就越來氣。我心裡不斷的要求自己控制情緒,不順著那個東西下去,好不容易才平靜下來。但那之後,這個不寬容的心並沒有改變,一連幾個星期三我都比以往到的晚,有點消極。

Every Wednesday evening I would  work on the newspaper at the coordinator's home. I normally worked from 6:30pm to 10pm. A few months ago, as soon as I started working on the paper, the coordinator would shut down half of the light in the room and so it was rather dim. There were two other practitioners who were doing proofreading for the paper in the house and one did not have a desk lamp next to her. Although I didn't need bright lights while working on the computer, it would be rather difficult for me to read from the printouts later when making corrections to the paper. So I asked the coordinator: Perhaps you wouldn't mind asking the proofreaders whether the light is sufficiently bright for them? By now I was already getting quite irritated. I did not want to lose face by asking for more light for myself, so I pretend to ask the question for the proofreaders. The proofreading practitioner was rather polite and said that she didn't need more light as the lamp from across the desk was enough for her. So as a result we had to work with half the light until 8pm after which the lights were turned on to full power. My eyes were very sore because of this and I was angry for the rest of the evening. I thought to myself if the coordinator was going to turn on all the light only after 8pm, then perhaps I should just turn up at 8pm in the future and leave her house at 10pm, regardless of whether the work was finished or not; or perhaps I should even charge up a lamp at home and bring it to the coordinator's house. The next day, I told others at the office about it and I was furious. The practitioners could not calm me down. I was full of anger and the more I went along with it the angrier I became. There was obviously a substance in another dimension interfering with me . So I tried to control my emotion and not go along with it. Eventually I was able to calm down. However, I still did not have tolerance for the situation so for the next few Wednesday evenings I always arrived late at the coordinator's house. I was passive and uncooperative.

 

在這之後,又出現了一系列關於大家認為協調人的管理出現偏頗等等問題,加上前段時間被關燈的事,我心裡雖然對協調人同修不再憋氣,但還是陷入了一種無奈,不知如何是好。轉眼到了紐約法會之前,協調人讓我幫他訂同一天往返的機票,唉,伴君如伴虎,我本來這段時間就對社長橫看豎看的不怎麼順眼,這一路上都要在一起,可怎麼得了?現在想起來很可笑,一切都是師父的苦心安排,讓我有機會提高。

After this, some complaints from practitioners about the coordinator not managing the media company properly surfaced. Although I was no longer angry with the coordinator, those complaints on top of the existing Xinxing conflict about the light made me feel quite despondent about the situation. Soon it was time for the experience sharing conference in New York. The coordinator asked me to book a ticket for her so that we could travel together to New York. I felt quite unsettled as I didn't want to be with her. What a tribulation that was going to be travelling all the way to New York and back with her! Later, I realised it was Teacher's arrangement to help elevate my Xinxing.   

 

在去往紐約的途中,我與鄰座的一位同修聊起一些過關的事。在交流中我認識到,不去要求別人達到自己的期望,那種寬容是善的表現。我的心裡狀態發生了變化。接下來,一個細節令我的內心產生了很大的震動。

On the way to New York, I had a chat with another practitioner sitting next to me about passing xinxing tests. From the sharing, I understood that not asking others to meet my own expectations was being tolerant of others, an act of compassion. So I had a change of heart. Next something happened which fundamentally changed me . 

 

在機場轉機時,協調人同修去要航班的座位,只讓我把他一直背著的筆記本電腦拿到一邊坐下等就好了。我毫無準備的接過筆記本的那一刻幾乎脫口而出的驚叫:這怎麼這麼沉啊!(因為我自己曾經用過的筆記本很輕)協調人同修笑笑說:是啊,路短還好,剛才過海關時間那麼長,真是累的夠嗆……

While in transit, the coordinator went to the airline counter to sort out the seats. She asked me to just take her notebook for her and sit down. As soon as she passed the notebook to me, I said: What a heavy notebook! This was quite unexpected. My own notebooks had always been quite light. The coordinator smiled and said: "yes, that's right. I was lucky as we didn't have far to walk. But we did spend a rather long time at the customs. That was quite tiring."

 

我一下子沉默了。師父要告訴我什麼?——你在你的位置和角度上衡量別人,不知道別人正在承擔的一切有多難,在觸及到自我利益時只想到自己,不體諒别人,別人沒有叫苦就有理由默認他是舒服的嗎?這怎麼能是修煉者所為呢?

Immediately I went silent. What was Teacher trying to tell me? I was always evaluating others from my own perspective and position. I had no idea what the other party was shouldering and how difficult the burden may be for the person. When my own vested interests were touched upon, I only thought of myself and did not consider others. While the other party did not complain that didn't mean everything was OK for her. How could I, as a practitioner, be so selfish? 

 

這個不小的震動,使我多日以來對協調人的種種不滿消褪了。這時我終於注意到協調人同修心事重重;當我聽到他寥寥幾句中涉及的沉重話題時,我心中那片消沉的陰雲終於被驅散,取而代之的是同修間為助師正法完成同一個目標相互扶持、榮辱與共的使命感,同時也不禁深深自責:在協調人同修默默承擔著重壓的時候,我作為同修、同仁、員工,沒有去善意的了解和分擔,只顧牢騷滿腹,於其中任何一個角色,至少在這一個問題上,我都是不合格的。師父太慈悲了。用這樣一個無聲的方式讓我看到自己修煉的漏有多大、多明顯,在整個過程中對我並無半句指責,卻足以讓我無地自容。

That incident had shaken me to the core. The various resentments that I harboured towards the coordinator for a long time dissipated. At the same time, I finally was noticing the mental burdens the coordinator was enduring. When I heard her talking briefly about some serious topics, the despondency in my mind was finally dispelled. What took place instead was a sense of responsibility to cooperate well and help each other in assisting Teacher to rectify the Fa. At the same time, I was feeling ashamed of myself as while the coordinator was shouldering such heavy responsibilities silently, I as a fellow practitioner, a co-worker and a staff member of the company was only full of complaints, and did not try to understand or share her burden compassionately. I really did not meet the requirement, either in my role or in terms of the issues at hand. Teacher was so compassionate. He had me seeing my own shortcomings without scolding me. The omission was so huge that I really felt ashamed of myself.

 

師父在《2013年大紐約地区法會講法》中開示:作為修煉人沒有實質的榜樣。每個人都在修自己,每個人都得走自己的路,沒有參照。只有一點,就是你如何遵照法去做。每個人都有自己的體會,每個人都有不同的感受,很難說每個人碰到的問題都能夠有一樣的認識、都有一樣的針對方式和處理方法,很難,因為思維的方式和思想的來源是很複雜的。每個人在長久以來形成的各種各樣的觀念,對事物的不同認識,自己的感受、情感,所有方方面面的東西構成了自己的認識和自己的領悟、認識的特點,這都很複雜,所以很難找出兩個個性一樣的人。別人怎麼做我就怎麼做那是學表面,很難實質相同。

Teacher said in Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference: “For cultivators there are no real role models to follow. Each person is cultivating himself, and each must walk his own path; there are no references to draw upon or examples to follow. There’s just one thing: how you follow the Fa in your actions. Each person has his own realisations and feelings about things. So it’s unlikely, when encountering something, that everyone will understand it in the same way, approach it in the same way, or handle it in the same way. It’s highly unlikely. That is because people have different ways of thinking and the origins of one’s thoughts are complex. All of the various notions that each person has formed over the long course of time, as with his different understandings of things, his perceptions, and his feelings—all of the many aspects of things that go into a person’s understanding or realisation, or characteristics of his understanding—all of these are quite complex, and that is why it’s hard to find two people with the same personality. Simply imitating what someone else does is just superficial copying, and the substance of it is very unlikely to be the same.”

 

如今回頭再看我曾經的那些按照自己的意願去要求別人的想法真的很狹隘。不同大穹的主,來到這裡,有著各自生命體系的特點,在漫長的輪迴中又有不同的经历,這一世的表現一定是長短各異,如果沒有彼此間洪大的寬容,怎麼能配合好,完成助師正法救度眾生的大事!

So now when I looked back I saw that my requiring others to follow my expectations was indeed very narrow-minded. The Lords of different cosmic bodies had come here; each of them had their own characteristics that were unique to their own cosmic systems, and each one of them had different experiences in their very long path of incarnations. As a result, what they did in this lifetime would certainly be different. So without immense tolerance among fellow practitioners, it would be hard to cooperate well with each other in assisting Teacher in the grand mission of rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings. 

 

在這過程中師父為我拿掉了很多不好的物質,我感到心變得輕了,不再那麼硬那麼冷了,看待別人時也變得溫和,不再那麼犀利了。我感受到了一種無憂無慮的美好和能夠理解、寬容他人的喜悅。是師父再次用巨大的承受推著我走入了一段新的修煉里程,我唯有精進不停,才對得起師父的慈悲苦度。

In the process of helping me to enlighten to the attachment Teacher had taken away for me many bad substances. I felt light-hearted and I was no longer cold and hard as before. I was able to treat others with more warmth and kindness. I had experienced the wonderfulness of being carefree, and the joy of being able to understand and be tolerant of others. It was Teacher who had once again suffered for me and thus pushed me through to another level of cultivation. I resolved to cultivate diligently so as to not disappoint Teacher.

 

二、擺正做媒體與其他證實法項目的關係,修去安逸心

由於我做全職,承擔的工作比較多,白天晚上都在為這份媒體而忙碌。起初自己總認為到了週末可以緩衝一下,況且悉尼學員那麼多,不缺我一個。我不必像在南澳時那樣各種項目參與那麼多。實際上這種心理對應的最直接執著就是求安逸。

 

2. Balancing well a Media Project and Other Fa-Rectification activities while Cultivating Away the Attachment to Comfort

Because I worked full time for the media project and I took up a lot of responsibilities, I had always been busy day and night. So in the beginning, I always thought that I should have a bit of break during the weekends. Also I thought to myself that there were so many practitioners in Sydney, so it wouldn't matter much whether or not I helped out with other activities at weekends. I didn't think I needed to take part in the many projects the way I did in South Australia. In fact, however, this kind of mentality was the manifestation of the attachment to comfort and wanting an easy life.

 

我在南澳時一直都參加集體學法,到悉尼後暫停了一年。因為我有一個怕心,怕不修煉的家人說三道四。我本人平素不喜歡出門,尤其不願意晚上出去。來悉尼前我只有一個晚上出門學法,到了悉尼因為要做報紙,有2個晚上都會做到很晚回家,我一直擔心如果週六晚上再出去,沒辦法應付家人。隨著師父《大法弟子必須學法》經文的發表,我衝破了心理上的阻礙,和身邊很多同修一起從新回到了大組學法的環境。

I had always participated in group Fa studies while living in South Australia. I stopped for one year after relocating to Sydney. That's partly because I was concerned that my family who were not practitioners may not understand.  Also, I was the sort of person who always preferred to stay at home and this was especially so at night. Before coming to Sydney, I attended Fa studies one evening every week. After relocating to Sydney, because of my involvement with the media I had to come home very late at night twice a week. I had always been concerned that if I also went out on Saturday evenings to attend Fa studies, my family would be unhappy. However, as Teacher's article "Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa" was published, I broke through my own human notions and went back to regular group Fa studies with many other practitioners.

 

此後,我開始參加週末的講真相活動,神韻期間參加不同的推廣小組。我發現我並沒有出現手忙腳亂或疲倦,一切都井然有序。這讓我真實的感受到師父洪大的慈悲:師父真的什麼都不要,只要我們的一顆心。我們有心去修,有心要做好,師父就把一切準備好的拿出來給予我們,根本不需要我們費太多力。

Later, I also started participating in the truth-clarification activities at weekends. And during the Shen Yun promotion period I also took part in various promotional activities. I realised that taking part in those activities would not bring chaos or tiredness to my life. Everything was well organised for me. I truly experienced the immense compassion of Teacher. He really did not ask anything of us. If we have the heart to cultivate and do things well, Teacher would prepare everything for us. There was no need for us to labour too much. 

 

在參與更多證實法的項目中,我越來越感到能有這些機會去做助師正法的事,不是辛苦,而是無上的幸福與榮耀。參加這些活動絕不是大幫哄,不是為了應付差事或做給別人看,一切都是基於真修中的正悟而做的。

By participating in more Fa-validating activities, I felt honoured and fortunate to have the opportunities to do so instead of thinking that it was hardship. Taking part in those activities was not following the crowd, or performing a chore or to show others. It was from the standpoint of righteous enlightenment through genuine cultivation.

 

師父在《致歐洲法會》中講到:大法弟子是有責任的,無論怎樣都得完成你來世的誓願,這是你當初用神的生命做保證才成為今天這宇宙最偉大的生命──大法弟子的

Teacher said in the article "To the European Fa Conference": "Dafa disciples have a duty and must, no matter what, fulfil the vows that brought them to this world. For it was on that account that you once pledged your life as a god and were thus allowed to become today the most magnificent kind of being in the cosmos—a disciple of Dafa."

 

最後,請允許我恭引師父《洪吟 3》中的一段詩詞與各位同修共勉:

 

只為這一回

 

超越時空正法急

巨難志不移

邪惡瘋狂不迷途

除惡只當把塵拂

弟子走正大法路

光照天地惡盡除

法徒精進寒中梅

萬古艱辛只為這一回

 

謝謝師父!謝謝大家!

 

Finally, please allow me to quote Teacher's poem from Hongyin 3 and let us encourage each other on our path:

 

All For This Day

 

Beyond time and space I vigorously rectify the Fa

Despite the huge ordeals my will never bends

Amidst crazed evil, I never lose my way

I regard eliminating the evil as whisking dust away

When disciples walk righteously the path of Dafa

Their light illumines the world, purging evil completely

Diligent disciples - plum blossoms in winter's chill

The eons of hardship were all for this day

 

Thank you Teacher! thank you everyone!