My Cultivation Experience

in the process of taking part in Fa rectification projects

参与正法项目过程中的修炼体会

 

M Hutchison, Perth Western Australia

Greetings Master, greetings fellow Dafa practitioners.

尊敬的师父好,同修好!

When I was asked to write a sharing for this years Fa Hui my human mind naturally thought of what things have I had done well that I could write about that could help other practitioners improve. In the background was still the notion of showing myself off and wanting to impress others and show how I had done well but the reality of the situation is that I have stumbled through much of my cultivation up to now. Although I have done a lot of things I have always tried to cover up my shortcomings and many of the things I have done have not achieved the satisfactory results or met the requirements of the Fa rectification. I thought it would be more appropriate to write about these things in order to help myself and other practitioners fulfill their grand missions and catch up where they might fall short.

當有同修告訴我為這次法會寫交流稿時,我的腦子自然的就想到我哪些事情做的好,可以寫出來幫助其他學員。其實背後隱藏著一顆顯示心,想要讓別人知道我做的多麼好。但事實是我在修煉中一直是跌跌撞撞走到現在。儘管做了好多事情,但我一直想掩蓋自己的缺點,很多事情做的並沒有達到正法的要求。我意識到應該把這些沒做好的事情寫出來,以幫助我自己和其他學員跟上正法進程,完成自己的使命。

 

I obtained the Fa almost 7 years ago. I was driven to Dafa by illness. I was a young and very successful self-made entrepreneur who was naturally very lost in the delusion of self and I was walking a very destructive path, even though externally I had the perfect material life. Profit, greed, selfishness, alcohol and ego was my world. So I can see that Master had to use a heavy hammer on me to break through the many layers of self and help me wake up. I wish to thank Master for saving me. I have never been able to see anything and rarely feel changes in my body except for the physical pain that accompanies me on a regular basis.

我近七年前喜得大法,當時是被病痛逼的。那時我是一名很成功的、白手起家的企業家,妄自尊大。我有完美的物質生活,但卻走在一條毀滅的路上,利潤、貪婪、自私、喝酒、自我構成了我的世界。所以我看到師父得用重錘才能敲醒我層層的自我,讓我醒悟。除了經常性的疼痛外,我從未看到過什麼,也很少感受到身體的變化。

 

The English Epoch Times

My brother was working for the Sydney version of the English Epoch Times when I first came to Dafa. He shared with me the frustrations of this media. Together we worked on developing a business model that we believed would bring the English Epoch times to every household in Perth profitably. At that stage there was not even the Chinese version of the Epoch times in Perth. When we felt this model was ready we both set out to start it in Perth. It seemed very noble and a grand plan but underlying it was my strong desire to validate myself and selfishly acquire great virtue. My ego was at its strongest and I was a brand new practitioner and was not ready for the onslaught of tests that quickly followed.

英文大紀元

我剛得法的時候,我弟弟在做悉尼的英文大紀元。他跟我交流在這個媒體項目中遇到的挫折,於是我們一起設計了一個商業模式,我們認為按照這個模式定能讓英文大紀元走入珀斯的千家萬戶同時盈利。那時珀斯還沒有中文大紀元,我們感覺這個模式在珀斯準備好了之時,就擬定了一個宏偉的計劃,開始做英文大紀元,但卻帶著強烈的證實自己和自私地建立自己威德的執著。我的自我在此时膨胀到了頂峰。然而,作為一個新學員,我還沒有準備好應對接踵而來的各種考驗。

 

Our wanting to change the existing model drew strong criticism from all over the country and became a distraction that caused great losses for the positive energy and focus needed to make a business such as this to work. I recall we would regularly receive dozens of emails per day from practitioners wanting to have their opinions heard. By being unable to let go of self, pass critical tests well and create a sacred cultivation environment within the small newspaper team, this resulted in many losses and eventually saw the closure of this media in Perth shortly after we had launched into every newsagent in Perth. The circulation of the newspaper seemed to be following our cultivation state which was unable to keep pace and when the circulation numbers became too low to be sustained financially the decision was made to close it in our city. Many positive lessons were learned from this project including the influence that practitioner’s thoughts can have on a project. I am confident that if we were able to reach the cultivation standard set by master then today the story of the English Epoch Times in Australia would be very different.

我們想要改變原有模式的做法激起了來自全澳学员的批評,這分散了精力,使正的能量散失,不能專心致志使計劃好的商業模式付諸實施。記得那時每天都收到幾十封電子郵件強烈批評我們,希望按他們的想法做。由於未能放下自我,也没有在這個小小的報社團隊中開創神聖的修煉環境,致使報紙的運作出現虧損,最後在報紙已經在書報亭出售的情況下不得不關閉。報紙的發行隨著我們不好的修煉狀態而下滑,當發行量無法維持時,就不得不停止印刷。從這個項目中我们學到了正面的教訓,包括學員们的想法對一個項目會產生的影響。如果那時能達到師父為我們設定的修煉標準,那麼今天澳洲的英文大紀元應該會很不一樣。

 

Building a new business

During the building of Epoch Times in Perth my brother and I had developed a stronger understanding of what a successful media model might be for English media. The challenge for us was that it required start up money and ongoing strong cash flow. Neither of which were available at that time with the Global Financial crisis damaging my core everyday business, which had funded the Epoch Times up to that point. It was at that point the decision was made to build a second business that could provide the initial funding and ongoing cash flow for a large scale English Media.

建立新的企業

在做珀斯英文大紀元的過程中,弟弟和我對適用於英文媒體的成功商業模式有了很深的理解。我們面臨的挑戰是需要啟動資金和持續強勁的現金流,由於我之前用於支持大紀元的常人生意受到金融危機的衝擊,那時這兩個條件都不具備。於是我們決定再成立一個公司,希望籍此賺錢來作為大型英文媒體的初始投資和持續現金流的來源。

 

This new business is now 4 years old and it has not achieved the result it was built for. Much of this result is wrapped up in the ongoing attachment of self-validation and ego. I had left so many gaps in my cultivation that every single error that could have occurred in the business in fact did occur and I have been faced with financial ruin for much of the last 4 years and this has proven to be a significant distraction. From the human side it has been a financial disaster, from the Fa side it has helped me pay off much Karma while tempering me in the process. It appears that Master needed to use a heavy hammer on me here. Each time I reached a breaking point and let go of this business and wanted to close it, this then coincided with miracles happening that put the business back onto the right track. Master keeps helping me let go of my attachments to time, pursuit, showing off and my ever-enduring ego. The steps for me now are to let go of all my businesses in my mind and step away from them. If it is predestined for me to be able to support Dafa or media financially then that is fine but if not then I cannot waste too much time on this.

這家公司迄今已運作四年,但沒有達到當初預期的設想。這個結果也是證實自己和放不下的自我帶來的。由於修煉上差距太大,以致所有可能在一個新創企業中出現的問題在這個公司都出現了,過去四年的大部分時間裡我一直面臨著破產的問題,也造成我在修煉上的分心。從人這面來說,這是財務危機,但從修煉上來說,這幫我還清了很多業力,同時也讓我變的平和。我看到師父總得用重錘敲我。每次到我即將破產想關閉公司的時候,一系列的奇蹟就會發生,生意又變的好起來。師父一直在幫我去掉對時間的執著,有求之心,顯示心和很難去掉的自我。下一步對我來說就是在頭腦中去掉對我的企業的執著。如果安排了我能夠支持大法的項目或證實大法的媒體項目,那當然好,但如果沒有這樣的安排,我也不應該在這上浪費太多時間。

 

NTD magazine

I was asked to join the landing team for NTD in Australia a few years ago to help find technology and a business model to land NTD back into Australia. Although I was considerably busy with my everyday work and Dafa responsibilities I felt I could contribute. Behind this decision were some strong attachments to validating myself (especially after the closure of the English Epoch Times) and not having any other major project I felt I was being left behind and was not fulfilling my desire to help Dafa on a large scale. I was also concealing my attachment to being the hero and wanting to impress others.

新唐人雜誌

幾年前,我應邀參加了新唐人在澳洲的落地項目,試圖找到相應的技術和商業模式讓新唐人回到澳洲。儘管已經忙於常人工作和證實大法有關項目的責任,但我覺得還可以做這件事情。這個決定的背後其實還隱藏著強烈的證實自己的執著(尤其英文大紀元關閉後),我覺得如果沒有參加一個大的證實法項目,就是被落下了,不能走好自己的路。我也掩蓋了自己想成為英雄一鳴驚人的執著。

 

I could see that NTD needed a technical solution for people to view NTD programs and some method of large-scale promotion. After about one year working with the Landing team a technical solution became available with the next problem now being how to tell people about it and NTD. After a trip to New York 2 years ago I worked together with some Perth practitioners to help develop a lifestyle magazine that would help promote NTD, its mission and its programs to the wider Chinese community. This goal was achieved very quickly and in addition the magazine met the standard for Dafa media by being able to provide salaries, an office and is run very professionally. I really cherish the cultivation environment provided by these local Chinese practitioners and it has helped me a lot to improve and realize my cultivation shortcomings.

我看到新唐人需要一個技術方案以使人們去看新唐人的節目,這需要大規模的推廣。在落地項目組工作一年後,找到了一個技術方案,下一步就是如何讓人們知道新唐人。一年前在紐約法會後,我與珀斯一些同修創立了一個生活雜誌來推廣新唐人,向華人社區介紹新唐人的節目。這個目標很快有了成效,雜誌也能自負盈虧的運作,有自己的辦公室,並向參與的學員支付一定的薪水。我真的很珍惜這個小組中華人學員提供的修煉環境,幫助我提高並意識到我修煉中的缺點。

 

Shen Yun in Perth

Shen Yun has never been to Perth and this had brought many loses to the people of Perth and much disappointment for the practitioners of Perth. From the beginning of my cultivation I have helped in various ways to try to bring Shen Yun to Perth. This includes clarifying the truth to venues and one year I even employed a professional PR firm and political lobby company to help us. All to no avail as the one body in Perth was still not achieved. This year Perth was granted the opportunity to have Shen Yun. This came only after the association members made bigger efforts to let go of their indifferences and the whole practitioner body made greater efforts to resolve the divides between practitioners and media groups. What seemed to play an instrumental part was that as many as half the Perth practitioners passed the Level 1 Shen Yun evaluation.

珀斯的神韻項目

神韻從未來過珀斯,這對珀斯的人們來說是莫大的損失,學員們也很失望。從我初得法起,我想過各種辦法要把神韻請到珀斯,包括給場地講真相,聘請專業公關公司和政治遊說公司幫忙。然而由於珀斯修煉上未能形成整體,這些都無濟於事。最近珀斯獲得舉辦神韻的機會,這來自於:輔導站成員不再對這個項目漠不關心,學員們和媒體項目組之間也努力消除彼此的間隔。更重要的是,超過半數的珀斯學員通過了推廣神韻的初級評估。

 

Marriage breakdown

More recently the tensions within my marriage have reached an all time high particularly after it was brought to my attention that my wife had dishonored herself and our marriage and continued to do so for some time. This has been accompanied by a big change in her character, which seems to be spiralling towards self-destruction. These events and her subsequent disrespect and resentment have exposed a multitude of attachments within me and some have proven very hard for me to let go and I have not passed many of these tests with the tolerance of a practitioner. These include ego, lust, desire and many aspects of qing. Another practitioner shared with me that the old forces may be using her and I need to quickly elevate my xing xing and fulfill the greatest act of compassion to ensure I do not become any further distracted with the breakdown of the family and the complications that come with sharing young kids and breaking up my various companies. This practitioner reminded me that these things are happening within my field and that I must take responsibility for that. I feel I am on a very tight path with not a millimetre of room for self and I must put down the attachment to being right. Some days I have felt the qing suffocating me to the point where I could not see past this test. I can see my qing has been too strong throughout my cultivation and I need to improve quickly if I am to do well on this final leg.


Master said in Lecture 4 in Zhuan Falun: "If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble."

婚姻破裂

最近我的婚姻關係到了前所未有的緊張成度,尤其是我注意到妻子使我們的婚姻蒙羞,並且繼續如此有一段時間之後。隨之而來的,她的性格也發生很大變化,似乎在走向自我毀滅。這些事情的發生和她隨後表現出來的不尊重及怨恨曝光了我的多重執著,有些對我還很難去,很多心性關我都沒有做到忍,這些執著包括自我、慾望和情的許多方面。

一位學員跟我交流說舊勢力可能利用她,我必須迅速提高心性,盡最大的努力修出慈悲心來,確保我不會進一步被家庭破裂、妻離子散、公司分家這些事情干擾。這位同修告訴我,這些事情發生在你的空間場,你必須負責任。我感到非常緊迫,已經沒有自我迴旋的餘地,我必須放下自以為是的執著了。有一段日子,我感到情窒息著我,似乎已經過不去這個關了。我看到在我整個修煉過程中,情太強烈了。如果想在(正法的)最後一站做好,我必須迅速提高。

師父在《轉法輪》第四講中說:“人要跳出這個情,誰也動不了你,常人的心就帶動不了你,取而代之的是慈悲,是更高尚的東西。

 

This has proven to be the most significant distraction I have ever faced and a level of interference I really must break through quickly. I am actively eliminating any negative thoughts about my wife and suspicions about her behaviour and working on cleaning up all narcissistic substances within my own dimensional field.

Master said in lecture 6 in Zhuan Falun: "The other day I said that the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities. In other words, the energy scattered from our bodies can rectify all abnormal conditions."

這已經證明是我面臨的最大的干擾,我必須迅速突破。我積極的清除對妻子的負面想法和對她行為的猜疑,清理我空間場中所有自戀的物質。

師父在《轉法輪》第六講中說:“那天我講佛光普照,禮義圓明,就是說我們身體散射出來的能量能夠糾正一切不正確狀態。

 

During my cultivation and through the various projects what has been made clear is the strong attachment of fear and this has shown itself in many ways; procrastination, inactivity, avoiding difficult or uncomfortable situations and a strong need to control the process and others. When this was combined with the attachment of jealousy it had the effect of putting many people off side including other practitioners, my wife and my 2 cultivating brothers. I am working hard to make my heart more sincere, dissolve away final layers of jealousy and soften myself to better validate Dafa and do well with all the relationships around me.

在修煉過程中,我很清楚害怕是一個很強烈的執著,它表現在很多方面;拖延、沒有行動、逃避困難、避開不舒服的情形,很想控制的願望。當這些與妒忌心夾雜在一起時,就會把別人包括其他學員、妻子和也是同修的哥哥及弟弟推到一邊。我正努力使自己的心變得更真誠,化解最後的妒忌心,讓自己變的更平和,以更好的證實大法,處理好身邊的各種關係。

 

I have maintained some good habits during the past years that have helped me and these include 2 hours exercise every morning before the family wakes up and 2 hours Sonant study after the kids go to bed each night. With Perth having only a small group of active practitioners and being an assistant it requires me to participate in regular speaking engagements for Free China and other events, some government work, dragon dancing and Hong Fa’s. I am now in the process of working to present Shen Yun in Perth and on the Chinese magazine and look forward to putting my skills to better use to save more people and more widely clarify the truth to the Western Australian people.

過去這些年中我也保持一些好的習慣,如早晨在家人醒來之前煉功,晚上孩子睡下之後兩個小時的學法。由於珀斯只有不多的學員,所以有時我需要在公眾面前講話,如跟《自由中國》有關的活動,一些政府工作和洪法活動。現在也要為神韻和雜誌忙碌,我期待著通過向更多西澳人講清真相以救度他們。

 

Looking back over these various projects and experiences and writing this sharing I can see clearly how my wanting to be admired by others and be the hero that saves people has been a big attachment that has damaged the purity of everything I have been involved in. I thank Master for his great compassion and vow to be more diligent in my actions and cultivation on the final leg of the journey.

Thank you Master.

Thank you everyone.

回頭再看這些項目,通過這次寫交流稿,我清楚的看到:我想被別人佩服、想成為英雄的執著破壞了我所參與的這些事情的純淨。我感恩師尊的洪大慈悲,發誓在正法進程的最後關頭更加精進。

谢谢师父。

谢谢大家。