My Cultivation Experience
in the process of taking part in Fa rectification projects
Greetings Master, greetings fellow Dafa practitioners.
When I was asked to write a sharing for this years Fa Hui my human mind naturally thought of what things have I had done well that I could write about that could help other practitioners improve. In the background was still the notion of showing myself off and wanting to impress others and show how I had done well but the reality of the situation is that I have stumbled through much of my cultivation up to now. Although I have done a lot of things I have always tried to cover up my shortcomings and many of the things I have done have not achieved the satisfactory results or met the requirements of the Fa rectification. I thought it would be more appropriate to write about these things in order to help myself and other practitioners fulfill their grand missions and catch up where they might fall short.
I obtained the Fa almost 7 years ago. I was driven to Dafa by illness. I was a young and very successful self-made entrepreneur who was naturally very lost in the delusion of self and I was walking a very destructive path, even though externally I had the perfect material life. Profit, greed, selfishness, alcohol and ego was my world. So I can see that Master had to use a heavy hammer on me to break through the many layers of self and help me wake up. I wish to thank Master for saving me. I have never been able to see anything and rarely feel changes in my body except for the physical pain that accompanies me on a regular basis.
The English Epoch Times
My brother was working for the
Our wanting to change the existing model
drew strong criticism from all over the country and became a distraction that
caused great losses for the positive energy and focus needed to make a business
such as this to work. I recall we would regularly receive dozens of emails per
day from practitioners wanting to have their opinions heard. By being unable to
let go of self, pass critical tests well and create a sacred cultivation
environment within the small newspaper team, this resulted in many losses and
eventually saw the closure of this media in
Building a new business
During the building of Epoch Times in
This new business is now 4 years old and it has not achieved the result it was built for. Much of this result is wrapped up in the ongoing attachment of self-validation and ego. I had left so many gaps in my cultivation that every single error that could have occurred in the business in fact did occur and I have been faced with financial ruin for much of the last 4 years and this has proven to be a significant distraction. From the human side it has been a financial disaster, from the Fa side it has helped me pay off much Karma while tempering me in the process. It appears that Master needed to use a heavy hammer on me here. Each time I reached a breaking point and let go of this business and wanted to close it, this then coincided with miracles happening that put the business back onto the right track. Master keeps helping me let go of my attachments to time, pursuit, showing off and my ever-enduring ego. The steps for me now are to let go of all my businesses in my mind and step away from them. If it is predestined for me to be able to support Dafa or media financially then that is fine but if not then I cannot waste too much time on this.
I was asked to join the landing team for
I could see that NTD needed a technical
solution for people to view NTD programs and some method of large-scale
promotion. After about one year working with the Landing team a technical
solution became available with the next problem now being how to tell people
about it and NTD. After a trip to
Shen Yun in
Shen Yun has never
More recently the tensions within my marriage have reached an all time high particularly after it was brought to my attention that my wife had dishonored herself and our marriage and continued to do so for some time. This has been accompanied by a big change in her character, which seems to be spiralling towards self-destruction. These events and her subsequent disrespect and resentment have exposed a multitude of attachments within me and some have proven very hard for me to let go and I have not passed many of these tests with the tolerance of a practitioner. These include ego, lust, desire and many aspects of qing. Another practitioner shared with me that the old forces may be using her and I need to quickly elevate my xing xing and fulfill the greatest act of compassion to ensure I do not become any further distracted with the breakdown of the family and the complications that come with sharing young kids and breaking up my various companies. This practitioner reminded me that these things are happening within my field and that I must take responsibility for that. I feel I am on a very tight path with not a millimetre of room for self and I must put down the attachment to being right. Some days I have felt the qing suffocating me to the point where I could not see past this test. I can see my qing has been too strong throughout my cultivation and I need to improve quickly if I am to do well on this final leg.
Master said in Lecture 4 in Zhuan Falun: "If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble."
This has proven to be the most significant distraction I have ever faced and a level of interference I really must break through quickly. I am actively eliminating any negative thoughts about my wife and suspicions about her behaviour and working on cleaning up all narcissistic substances within my own dimensional field.
Master said in lecture 6 in Zhuan Falun: "The other day I said that the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities. In other words, the energy scattered from our bodies can rectify all abnormal conditions."
During my cultivation and through the various projects what has been made clear is the strong attachment of fear and this has shown itself in many ways; procrastination, inactivity, avoiding difficult or uncomfortable situations and a strong need to control the process and others. When this was combined with the attachment of jealousy it had the effect of putting many people off side including other practitioners, my wife and my 2 cultivating brothers. I am working hard to make my heart more sincere, dissolve away final layers of jealousy and soften myself to better validate Dafa and do well with all the relationships around me.
I have maintained some good habits during
the past years that have helped me and these include 2 hours exercise every
morning before the family wakes up and 2 hours Sonant study after the kids go
to bed each night. With Perth having only a small group of active practitioners
and being an assistant it requires me to participate in regular speaking
engagements for Free China and other events, some government work, dragon
dancing and Hong Fa’s. I am now in the process of
working to present Shen Yun
Looking back over these various projects and experiences and writing this sharing I can see clearly how my wanting to be admired by others and be the hero that saves people has been a big attachment that has damaged the purity of everything I have been involved in. I thank Master for his great compassion and vow to be more diligent in my actions and cultivation on the final leg of the journey.
Thank you Master.
Thank you everyone.