转变观念 无条件向内找

Changing Notions and Looking Inward Unconditionally

Nancy Chen

 

尊敬的师父好,同修好!

Revered Master, fellow practitioners, hello everyone!

 

在媒体从事广告销售工作近3年了,现在回想起来,三年里,师父一直在利用各种机会让我去掉各种执着,每次似乎我也能向内找,可是每次向内找好像都是有条件的,向内找只是走走形式,找出自己的不足后,不是想怎么尽快去掉它,却把重心放在找别人不足上,所以每次都没真正过好关,机会一次次的错过了。直到在最近一次过关中,我才真正把观念转变过来,真正认识到一切的矛盾都是自己的心促成的,一切都是给自己修的,对师父讲的“对的是他,错的是我”(《洪吟》三)、“无条件向内找”有了进一步的理解。

 

It has been three years since I became involved doing ad sales. Looking back, I found that Master has been offering me various opportunities to remove my attachments. Seemingly, each time I was also able to search my inner-self, but it appeared to be conditionally or I was following the formality. Once digging out my short comings, I then focused on finding others' demerits instead of eliminating my own attachments. Hence I lost my chance each time until recently amidst tribulation when I truly changed holistically to realise all conflicts caused by my humanness. Everything was for me to reflect and to cultivate myself, therefore I gained further comprehension in Hong Ying III - Master poem, “He’s right, And I’m wrong, What’s to dispute?” ("Unconditionally look inward") .

 

事情是这样的:

四月初,协调人找到我说墨尔本市场遇到严重问题,一季度亏损不少,希望我能到墨尔本去实地考察一下当地的市场情况,以及我们对市场的价格定位是否合理,希望尽可能多拉一些广告,并强调此行意义重大,关系到我们的媒体能否在墨尔本继续存在的问题。我听了压力很大,便申请我的搭档和我一起去。

Here is the story:

In early April, the coordinator told me that the Melbourne is branch experiencing serious issues with a quarterly loss of a big amount and hoped that I could go to Melbourne to investigate the local market and the rationality of our pricing in hope of getting more advertisements. The trip was regarded as significant for the Melbourne branch. I felt the pressure and asked my partner to go with me.

 

临行前我特地询问了我们该以什么价格来拉这个广告,得到的答复是以内部定的最低价格就行,具体我们自己衡量,能拉多少拉多少。

Before departure I asked for a price guide for the ads and I was given the bottom price. It was up to us as to do our best.

 

得到“尚方宝剑”后我们来到墨尔本,那天是个星期三,安顿好已是下午23点钟了,墨尔本同修已经给我们准备好了当地报纸,我们开始打电话联系客户,第二天学完法、炼完功,我们开始跑市场。可是直到星期五晚上,我们颗粒无收,得到的答复是“你们广告的价格高得太离谱了”,有的给出的价格比我们最低价格还要低50%,在我们看来墨尔本市场价格低的太离谱,我们把这些情况及时反馈给协调人,并开始调整我们的策略,开始主攻西人市场,价格上也做了相应的调整。

With that easy 'up to us' permission we went to Melbourne. It was Wednesday and after we settled in, it was 2 or 3 pm and Melbourne practitioners had already prepared the local newspapers for us. We started calling customers, and went and talked to potential customers after Fa-study and exercises the next day. It was fruitless till Friday night with replies like "The pricing of your ad is incredibly high". Some counter-bids were 50% lower than our bottom price. We sent feedbacks to the coordinator and began to adjust our strategy with focusing on the western market after making certain changes in pricing.

 

星期六上午我们又出发了,幸运地是我们签到一个珠宝商的小广告,并与另一位西人客户约好了洽谈时间。回去后,我们加强学法炼功发正念,师父在《二十年讲法》中说:“我告诉大家,这么多年来,我一直在说大法弟子的能力非常的大,很多人就是不相信,因为也不让你看到。你在正念作用下,你身边的一切和你自身都会发生变化,你从来都不想去试一试。”是啊,大法弟子才是这场戏的主角,我们今天就试一试我们的能力。我们相约一定要拿下这一单,而且要当场签单。早上我们学完法,炼完功,发好正念,信心满满地出了家门。经过一个多小时的较量,我们终于签下了彩色半版一年的广告合同。我们信心大增,相约要天天签单,要把一季度亏损,连同我们的佣金差旅费都挣出来。师父说:“你自己只是有这种愿望,这样去想了,真正那件事情是师父给做的”(《转法轮》第48页),常人也讲“心想事成”,也许师父看到了我们的愿望,就帮我们做成了这件事,以后的几天,我们几乎是天天签单,有时一天两单,到下个周六早晨返回悉尼,往返共十天的时间,我们共签了8张单子,合计金额13千元,达到了我们的目标。

We set off again on the following Saturday morning. Luckily we signed up a small ad with a jeweller and made an appointment with a western customer. After work, we strengthened our Fa-study, exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. Master said in "20th Anniversary Fa Teaching: "I’ll tell you, for years I have been continually saying that Dafa disciples’ abilities are tremendous, yet many people don’t believe this since those abilities were not allowed to be seen. Under the effect of righteous thoughts, everything around you, as well as you yourself, will undergo changes. Yet you have never thought to give it a try." Yes, Dafa disciples are the main players of the show. Today we shall try our abilities. We were determined to win the deal on site. Early in the morning we set off full of confidence after finishing Fa-study, exercises and sending righteous thoughts. Through negotiations of over an hour we signed up a one-year colored 1/2 page ad, which uplifted us with more confidence. We were determined to conclude deals everyday so as to make up for the loss in the 1st quarter, including our commission and travel cost. Master said in Page 48 of Zhuan Falun:"You can only have such a wish and think about it like that, but it is the Master who actually does these things." Ordinary people also talk about "Succeeding by thoughts". Probably Master knew our wish and helped us in achieving it. From that day onward we basically signed a contract or two every day. We got 8 contracts signed to a value of $13,000 in ten days and our goals were accomplished.

 

回到悉尼后,同修们都很高兴,协调人也多次表扬了我们,我心里也非常高兴,但心性关也随之而来。

Fellow practitioners were all very happy for us after we came back to Sydney whilst the coordinator also repeatedly praised us. I felt very pleased, but then Xinxing tests also came along.

 

大约是半个月后的一天,我无意中发现,在给我们墨尔本广告计算佣金时,还是按照原来的佣金发放标准执行,这就意味着我们拿不到标准的佣金,只能拿次一等的,有的甚至拿不到佣金。在最初发现的那一瞬间,我的各种人心一下子翻上来了,真可谓翻江倒海,各种责问一起涌上来, 总之,除了利益心、委屈、抱怨、不平衡、争斗,还有一种被过河拆桥的感觉,这时完全把自己混同于一个常人,做媒体的初衷和大法弟子的使命全抛到脑后了。

 

 

About half a month later I accidentally found out that the commission was calculated at the original policy for contracts signed in Melbourne, which meant that we were getting less than the standard commission with even zero bonus in some deals made. At that moment various thinking cropped up, turning fervently inside me, different questions surfaced, in summary, various bad thoughts turned up. Except for gains, grievance, complaint, unbalance and fight, I even had a sense of feeling being a dismantled bridge which has been used for crossing the river. I was positioning myself as an everyday person and lost my original intention to help run the media well and my mission as a Dafa disciple.

 

好在我还有一丝理智,我知道我的心被牵动的这么厉害,一定是我的心性有问题,但我当时并不认为主要的错误在我这。我是有执着,但主要的错误在他们,我知道带着人心讲出的话再有理也起不到好的效果,所以我决定顺其自然,先把自己的执著心放下再说。我强忍了下来。但心里并没有真正放下,因为我并没有真正向内找,还是在找别人。所以随着时间的推移,虽然渐渐把这事放淡了,但那个物质并没有去掉,所以做什么事情都提不起精神,看什么都不顺眼,心里很烦。

Fortunately I still had a bit of sense left in me, knowing that my heart was moved so much it would be due to my Xinxing issue. At that moment I did not think I'd made any mistake. I thought I had some attachments but the major fault was with the others. I knew my words spoken with a human heart would not produce any good result. Hence I decided to take the natural path and let go of my own attachment first. Yet in my heart I had not let it go, for I had not truly looked into myself, but was still searching outward. Though I had taken the matter lighter as time passed by , the substance still lingered on. I felt passionless about everything, and annoyed by everything and by everyone.

 

大约两个月后的一天,又看到了那张标有佣金的发票,又想起了这件事,这时我的心已经很平稳了,我想自己这颗心已经放下了,我应该跟协调人谈谈此事,不是为自己争利益,因为我知道争来的东西不能要,师父说:“正因为你努力改变就可能得到业力了,不然的话就不存在造业的问题了,就不存在做好事做坏事的问题了。硬这样做的时候,他就会占别人的便宜,他做了坏事了。所以在修炼上一再讲要顺其自然,就是这个道理,因为你经过努力就会伤害到别人。本来你生命中没有这个东西,可是在社会中本来属于别人的东西你得到了,你就欠了人家的。”(《转法轮》第59页),我不再想个人的利益,但是报社要发展,要走专业化道路,各方面管理也应跟得上,我希望这样的事情不要再发生在别人身上,因为这样很挫伤销售人员的积极性,不利于报社的长远发展。这时我的思维还是在“错的是他”的基点上,虽然放下了利益心,但还要争个理。我把我的想法和协调人说了,我明确我不要那个佣金,但报社这样做不合理,作为公司负责人,在考虑公司利益的同时,有责任最大限度保证员工的利益,从而调动员工的积极性,这样才能保证公司的长远利益。协调人很高兴我能把心里话说出来,也很宽容的接受了我的意见。

About two months later, I saw the receipt of that commission, which aroused my thought of the incident. At that time I felt quite peaceful at heart. I thought I had let go of my attachment. I should discuss the issue with the coordinator, not for self-interest, as I knew I could not have things obtained through fighting for it. Master said:"...but it is precisely because of your efforts for change that you may obtain karma. Otherwise the issue of committing karma will not exist, and neither will there be the issue of doing good deeds or wrong deeds. When one insists upon doing things this way, one will take advantage of others and do wrong deeds. Accordingly, that is why cultivation practice requires time and time again that one should follow the course of nature since you will harm others with your efforts. If your life does not have something to begin with and you obtain what should belong to another person in society, you will owe that person a debt." (Page 59 of Zhuan Falun) I no longer worried about my personal benefit, but for the healthy development of our media, various aspects of management should be up to the par. I hope such a thing will not occur to others, for it could dampen enthusiasm of the sales people, and is not conducive to the growth of the media in the long run. At this time my thought was still based on "he is at fault". Although I let go of the heart of loss and gain, I still fought for a reason. I spelled out my thoughts to the coordinator who was very pleased and accepted my suggestions.

 

可是事后我查找自己,当时说话时情绪并不是那么平稳,还是有些怨气,我意识到我那颗人心还是没有完全放下,师父告诉我们“对的是他,错的是我”(《洪吟》三),“无条件向内找”,难道都是我的错吗?明明是他们做的不对。我很纠结。理性的一面告诉我,这件事是针对我的执着来的,是给我修的,因为师父的法已经讲的很清楚了;但执着的那一面却拼命挣扎--“他也有错,主要错误在他。现在我才看清楚,其实理性的一面已经认识到问题的实质,但是执着的一面却抱着侥幸心理拼命挣扎、逃避以保护其不被清除掉。也许是师父看我实在是悟性太差,同时也看到我想提高的这颗心,第二天,安排一个同修给我介绍了一个潜在客户,约我去见面。在等待的过程中,无意中我与该同修讲了我的困惑:难道真的就是给我修的吗?同修很平静但很肯定地说:是,就是给你修的。就像一层窗户纸,一下子被同修捅破了,那个执着一下子被曝光在光天化日之下,无处躲无处藏,我的心胸豁然开朗,就感觉那个物质一下去掉了,那个装满了脏东西的瓶子浮了上来,我的心情一下子变得好轻松。师父说:“我们作为一个真正的炼功人,应该在很高层次上看问题,不能用常人的观点去看问题。”(《转法轮》第186页)可是我一直陷在常人的思维、常人的理中去争对错,所以怎么看自己怎么有理,都是别人不对。现在看看,自己对了又怎么样呢,还是一个常人啊,更何况还不一定是自己对。对于师父讲的高层次的理“对的是他,错的是我”,自己却在执着心带动下不愿去正视,不愿去相信。观念转变后,我发自内心的感到对的是他,错的是我。所有的一切看似不合理的地方都是我的执著心促成的,是为了去我的执着才演化出来的,如果换了别人可能不会是这样的处理方式。回想这几年来,一桩桩,一件件,师父一直利用各种形式去我的利益心,让我提高上来,可是我却总是以所谓原谅别人错误的“高姿态”让利益之心滑过去了,没有从观念上、从本质上真正改变自己,心性境界提高的很慢,让师父操了很多心,真是愧对师父。在今后的修炼路上,也许还会有利益之心表现出来,但我知道它已经没有根了,它已经没有了生存的土壤,即使冒出来也很快会被灭掉。

Afterwards I looked at myself and found that I was not calm when speaking, and was still holding some grievance. I realised that I still had not let go of the human heart completely. Master told us: "He's right. And I'm wrong" (Hong Yin III, "Look within Unconditionally"). Why is it all my fault? Apparently they were at fault. I felt tangled up. My rational side told me that the incident occurred to reflect my attachment so as to cultivate myself, as Master's Fa already spells it out, however my attachment was struggling - "He is also at fault, mainly with him!" Only now did I come to realise that, the rational side sees the substance of the issue, yet the attachments took chances to struggle to avoid being eliminated. Maybe Master sees my poor enlightenment and my heart to elevate. Then the following day, a practitioner was arranged to introduce me to a potential customer. While waiting, unintentionally I spoke with the fellow practitioner about my confusion: “Was it really for me to cultivate? ' I asked. The fellow practitioner affirmed calmly: “Yes, it is for you to cultivate.” It was like a layer of paper window, it was poked through and the attachment was exposed in the broad daylight with nowhere to hide. I felt relieved that a piece of material been removed. It was just like the filth in the bottle had been poured out and the bottle floated up. Master says: "As true practitioners, we should look at issues from a very high level instead of from the perspective of everyday people." (Page 186 of Zhuan Falun)

 

三年来,大大小小的关经历了很多,也成熟了很多,但直到今天我好像才明白一点如何向内找,说起来真是惭愧。在这里我真诚的向曾经被我的执着伤害过的同修道歉,对不起,都是我的错;也对帮助过我的同修表示衷心的感谢。

Over the past three years, I have been experiencing many tribulations, and becoming more mature in the Fa. But it seems that only until today I am able to understand a little bit about how to look inward in cultivation. I felt I could have done better. With this opportunity I’d like to truly say sorry to those fellow practitioners who were hurt by my attachments. It was all my fault. I would also like to say thank you to those who have helped me.

 

最后,以师父在《论语》中开篇第一段法与同修共勉:“‘佛法’是最精深的,他是世界上一切学说中最玄奥、超常的科学。如果开辟这一领域,就必须从根本上改变常人的观念,否则,宇宙的真相永远是人类的神话,常人永远在自己愚见所划的框框里爬行。”

 

谢谢师父

谢谢同修

 

Lastly I like to quote a portion of the teaching from LunYu:” 'The Buddha Fa'  is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science. In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance.”

 

Thank you Master; thank you fellow practitioners.

 

 

 

 

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