Cultivation reflection through fellow practitioners’ sickness karma experiences


L Smith


Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!



Today, I would like to share about how I reflected on my own cultivation while other practitioners went through sickness karma, and how I encouraged them to break through the tribulations with Master’s help. During the process, I again witnessed the power of Dafa and increased my righteous belief in Dafa.



1. “Buddha’s light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything”



In the past year, several practitioners in our area were interfered with and persecuted by sickness karma. All I did to help them was to send forth righteous thoughts. However, a few months ago, my husband, who is a practitioner, was also going through sickness karma. I then realised these incidents must have something to do with me, and finally I began to look deeply within myself.



My husband had a few severe headaches this year; the most recent one was really bad. He lay in bed for 2 or 3 days and was not able to eat or drink. He vomited every time he tried to eat; also, his vision was disordered. When it first happened, we sent forth righteous thoughts together to eliminate the evil interference. He was better immediately after, but began to vomit again soon afterwards. At that time, I thought we had to completely eliminate the old force’s arrangement, so I encouraged him to get out of bed to do Fa study and the exercises. He made a great effort and did a few exercises with me, and I thought he was getting better, but in fact, he became a lot worse. He became incoherent, and his hands were icy cold.



Watching him suffering so badly, my heart began to be moved. I couldn’t let go of my sentimentality towards my husband, and at the same time, I was blaming him for not being in a good cultivation state. This caused my non-practitioner in-laws to question why Dafa practitioners do not see the doctor. I felt great pressure in my heart, and my righteous thoughts became weaker and weaker. Negative thoughts appeared in my mind, such as: Would my husband be persecuted to death from this? Would my in-laws have negative thoughts about Dafa, etc. I then realised I needed to clear my own field first before being able to help others. My heart was calm after I sent forth righteous thoughts, and I began to look within. I discovered that my attachment in this regard was that I relied on my husband too much and had strong sentimentality towards him. Recently, I have not been diligent with Fa study and doing the exercises, and I realised my cultivation state was not good. With an impure heart, I didn’t think I could help other practitioners and might actually interfere with them. By looking within, I suddenly had a very strong thought: I really wanted to do more exercises and watch the DVD of the lecture to Australian practitioners again. I immediately stopped what I was doing and started doing the exercises and then started watching the lecture. After a short time, a miracle occurred, I heard my husband from the room saying he wanted to see Master as well. Later, he walked out from the dark room and watched the lecture with me. Within a short period of time, he was back to normal. This experience made me feel deeply that: “Buddha’s light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything.”(Zhuan Falun) I also came to understand that Dafa disciples have to cultivate solidly so that we can truly assist Master to save sentient beings.



Through this incident, I discovered that I never had a good understanding of sickness karma. I often cannot distinguish if it is karma or interference, should I bear it or should I deny it. But after studying a question and answer from Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference, I finally have a clear understanding. Master said: “Currently, whether it is karma elimination or interference from evil factors, that is all the work of the old forces. It’s all the same – they are just called different names. I am against all that the old forces do. I don’t accept any of it. And even less so should Dafa disciples be made to endure such suffering.”



2. Test of righteous thoughts and righteous belief



Not long after my husband’s tribulation, another test arrived. One day, our 4-year old child was crying, complaining of a painful ear. Her eye was also swollen, she couldn’t eat, and she threw up. Being normally very healthy, I knew this was another test for me. Even so, I still had a wrong thought: “Is she really a cultivator at such a young age and not doing Fa study and exercises every day?” At the time, it happened to be FZN. I told my child: “Let’s FZN together to clear away the bad things interfering with you.” She agreed immediately, sat in lotus, and sent righteous thoughts. After FZN, my child was suddenly very sleepy. I then read Zhuan Falun to her. When I first opened the book, it was Lecture 3 and Master said: “I am Taking All Students as Disciples. You know what? Know what I’m doing here? I’m taking all students as disciples to guide, and that includes people who learn on their own but are still able to truly cultivate.” I immediately realised and felt sorry in my heart to Master, that I shouldn’t have doubts, which showed my lack of belief in Dafa.



After reading half of the lecture, my heart stabilised. My child was next to me and was fast asleep, and I thought: “My daughter is so lucky. Master is looking after her! Everyone has their own fate, and I must let go of my sentimentality”. Therefore, I decided to continue on with what I had planned to do that day and not worry about her. About one hour later, my child woke up and said happily: “My ear is not painful anymore, all fixed!” Looking at her rosy cheeks, I knew Master had already cleared out the bad things for her. I quickly asked her to thank Master with Heshi.



3. Eliminating my fundamental attachment



I kept seeing and hearing about fellow practitioners suffering from sickness karma this year. I knew that our benevolent Master was giving me another opportunity to truly let go of my fundamental attachment.



I did not start practising Dafa because of sickness, but I obtained Dafa when I was very depressed about life. When I read Zhuan Falun for the first time, I thought I’d finally found a way to end all suffering and reincarnations. I did not know this heart of pursuit would become one of the biggest obstacles in my cultivation later on. Thus, every time I saw others going through life-and-death tests, my attachment of fear and feeling of hopeless appeared immediately.



Master said in the article “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”: “A person has many tests to overcome in the course of cultivation, one reason being, from the time of birth on, a person ceaselessly forms notions of every sort as he comes to an understanding of human society, and attachments result. Because human society is a place in which suffering goes hand-in-hand with enjoyment, life does abound with suffering, however wealthy you may be or however high your status. Because pain is hard on people, they try to, consciously or unconsciously, ward off suffering in hopes of leading a more pleasant life. And so it is that in the pursuit of happiness people form ideas about how to avoid harm, how to live well, how to get ahead in society and achieve fame and success, how to acquire more for themselves, how to come out on top, and so on.” Before practising Dafa, I was always pursuing so-called happiness. During the process, I was hurt badly and developed attachments of fame, showing off, jealousy, competitive mentality, etc. Even though I gradually saw many of my bad notions and attachments after I became a practitioner, I was never truly determined to get rid of them thoroughly.


几年前,接连听到五个常人亲友突然死亡的消息,其中有和我一起长大的、有非常年轻的、也有各方面都很优秀的。由于触碰到了我的根本执著,心一下子就无法承受。我开始出现大量思想业的干扰,加上自己的怕心,长时间都吃不下、睡不好,学法也入不了心,天天感到精神压力很大。当时我并不知道自己为什么被邪恶钻了空子,也排除不了干扰,但魔难中我守住了一念- 我只走我师父安排的路。所以当时再怎么难受,我都坚持参加集体学法和炼功,参与的正法项目也逼着自己不能停止,坚决否定旧势力的安排。过程中我才慢慢发现自己的根本执著,最终在师父的加持下、家人同修们的帮助下,闯出了魔难。

A few years ago, five non-practitioner relatives and friends of mine passed away one after another, including someone I grew up with, someone at a young age, and someone who was excellent in many aspects. This news hit right on my fundamental attachment and I was not able to handle it. I began to be interfered with by a lot of thought karma and my attachment of fear. I was not able to eat and sleep well for a long time. I also couldn’t study the Fa properly. I felt my mind was extremely intense every day. I couldn’t figure out why I was being interfered with by the evil at the time, and I also couldn’t eliminate it. However, I kept telling myself during that tribulation to only follow Master’s arrangement. Therefore, it didn’t matter how uncomfortable I was back then, I did not stop attending group study and exercises, I also forced myself to continue all the Fa-rectification projects I was involved in, completely denying the old force’s arrangements. I gradually discovered my fundamental attachment during the tribulation, and finally broke through it with Master’s and practitioners’ help.



That painful lesson a few years ago helped me realise that by not letting go of life and death and not letting go of being a human, a cultivator will not be able to walk towards Godhood. At this time, I looked within even more, asking myself: “You have already obtained the Fa, why are you still afraid of death?” I found selfishness was actually hiding behind the attachment of fear, fear of seeing family and friends suffering. In fact, I feared the feeling of sadness and worried that I was unable to withstand the impact of emotions. Also, the stubborn old notions made me believe that sickness and death are the roots of unhappiness, so I always felt very uneasy when something like that happened. A while ago, when I was typing on my computer, I kept typing the characters “Xiu Lian” (cultivation) mistakenly as “Liu Lian”(dread leaving). I knew Master was giving me a hint, which was not to dread leaving human happiness if I want to cultivate, but to cultivate solidly and treat hardship as joy. Master said in Zhuan Falun: “But then there are others who say, ‘My coming here to the ordinary world is just like staying at a hotel. I’m only going to stay here a few days and then leave in a hurry.’ Some people just dread leaving this place, and they’ve forgotten their own homes.” After understanding this based on the Fa, I felt many bad substances of mine were eliminated.



4. Cultivating as if you were just starting



After watching Lecture to Australian Practitioners again recently, I had mixed feelings inside my heart. How much have I changed since listening to Master’s teaching personally in the US in 2007? I realised I am still far behind Master’s and Fa ratification’s requirements, so I have decided to start again.


I reviewed my recent cultivation state and discovered that I am doing many projects, but not treating my personal cultivation seriously enough. I have hardly participated in the 2am global FZN for a long time; therefore, I started to ask myself to wake up for FZN. In addition, I also realised I wasted a lot of time in the past, so I started to remind myself to do more Fa study and exercises whenever I felt I wanted to be lazy. As a result, I spent more time on Fa study and exercises, which didn’t delay other things, but in fact made them efficient and they required less effort. Since I had the thought of wanting to be more diligent, my non-practitioner mother-in-law actively offered to look after my child more often, so that allowed me more time to do the three things.



I gradually rediscovered the feeling of when I first started practising. When I was doing the exercises, Falun began to spin again in my lower abdomen; my whole body was boiling hot. Also, I feel like spending time with Dafa disciples and really look forward to attending group Fa study. The gaps between me and other practitioners seemed to disappear. I now feel all Dafa disciples are my close family. Moreover, my compassion for saving sentient beings has increased a lot. I actively joined in a quit CCP project to help save Mainland Chinese people. I thank Master for giving me this sacred mission and opportunity.



During the process of experiencing cultivating as if I was just starting, I felt that Dafa was boundless, and I was as tiny as a speck of dust. Under the power of Dafa, my attachment of self is getting smaller. I was able to be born in this life while Master is here, and participate in Fa-rectification. My humble heart feels very honoured and thankful. As a disciple, I have nothing equivalent to return to Master, but I will be more diligent on my path from now on.



Finally, I would like to share with you a few words from Master in Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference: “From my perspective, as your Master, I don’t seek anything from Dafa disciples. Everything that they’re doing today – be it validating the Fa, saving sentient beings, or studying the Fa and cultivating themselves – I can tell you that not one of these things is done for me. In the future, Dafa disciples will see that everything Dafa disciples did was for their own sake. What are saved are their own sentient beings, what they’re consummating are their own paradises and sentient beings, and they’re establishing mighty virtue for themselves – all these things are done for Dafa disciples’ own sake. Not a single thing you’ve done is for Master, and not a single thing you’ve done is for anybody else.


“So there’s no need to force them to do anything. All the students rise by understanding the Fa’s principles, and that’s the only way they can become more diligent, and that’s the only way they can become so steadfast in the Fa. That’s not due to any external factor, and it can’t be achieved by coming up with some methods. Master doesn’t seek anything, and he won’t take anything from them. I only give things to them and bear things for them. That’s definitely the case!”



This is my limited understanding. Please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.


Thank you Master! Thank you everyone!