从同修过病业关反思自身修炼

Cultivation reflection through fellow practitioners’ sickness karma experiences

 

L Smith

尊敬的师父好!同修们好!

Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!

 

我今天想交流的是,在面对同修遭受病魔干扰时,我是如何反思自身的修炼,并在师父的帮助下,陪伴同修闯关。过程中,我再次见证了大法的神奇,同时增强对大法的正信。

Today, I would like to share about how I reflected on my own cultivation while other practitioners went through sickness karma, and how I encouraged them to break through the tribulations with Master’s help. During the process, I again witnessed the power of Dafa and increased my righteous belief in Dafa.

 

一、“佛光普照、礼仪圆明”

1. “Buddha’s light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything”

 

过去一年中,我们地区几个同修出现病魔的干扰和迫害,原本我只是一味的帮助同修发正念,直到几个月前,在丈夫同修也被干扰时我才意识到,让我遇到的事难道能与我无关吗?那时自己才开始认真的向内找。

In the past year, several practitioners in our area were interfered with and persecuted by sickness karma. All I did to help them was to send forth righteous thoughts. However, a few months ago, my husband, who is a practitioner, was also going through sickness karma. I then realised these incidents must have something to do with me, and finally I began to look deeply within myself.

 

今年丈夫连续头痛了好几次,最近一次的情况特别严重,他躺在床上两、三天,不能吃喝东西,一吃就吐,视觉也出现问题。起初,我和丈夫一起发正念铲除邪恶干扰,当时他立刻就有好转,但过没多久他又开始呕吐。那时我就想,要全盘否定旧势力的安排,所以鼓励他起床学法、炼功。丈夫撑着身体起来和我炼了几套动功后,原本以为他渐渐好转,没想到后来情况更加严重。他开始语无伦次,双手冰凉。

My husband had a few severe headaches this year; the most recent one was really bad. He lay in bed for 2 or 3 days and was not able to eat or drink. He vomited every time he tried to eat; also, his vision was disordered. When it first happened, we sent forth righteous thoughts together to eliminate the evil interference. He was better immediately after, but began to vomit again soon afterwards. At that time, I thought we had to completely eliminate the old force’s arrangement, so I encouraged him to get out of bed to do Fa study and the exercises. He made a great effort and did a few exercises with me, and I thought he was getting better, but in fact, he became a lot worse. He became incoherent, and his hands were icy cold.

 

看到他如此痛苦,我的心也在动摇。一边放不下对丈夫的情,一边又在心里责怪他状态不好,让不修炼的公公婆婆对大法弟子不看医生这件事有看法。我心里感到压力很大,正念也越来越不足,脑中开始出现一些不正的念头,如:丈夫是不是会因此被迫害死?公公婆婆是否会对大法有负面的想法等等...。我意识到首先我必须清理自身的空间场,才能帮助同修。发正念后心平静下来,我开始向找内,发现长期以来我对丈夫的依赖心和情都很重,最近我对学法炼功也比较放松。我意识到自己修炼状态不好,又带着不纯净的心,别说帮助同修了,不干扰别人就不错了。在向内找的过程中,我突然有个强烈的念头,很想加强炼功和重新看一遍07年师父对澳洲学员讲法的录象带。我立即放下手边的一切事务,先炼功,然后听师父讲法。神奇的是,才看了没几分钟,房里就传来丈夫的声音说:“我也想见师父。”接着他从黑暗的房间走了出来,和我一起看讲法录象带。学了一会儿法,他突然好了,一切又恢复正常。这次的经历让我深深体会到“佛光普照、礼仪圆明”(转法轮)的法理,也更加明白大法弟子必须实修,才能真正助师正法、救度众生。

Watching him suffering so badly, my heart began to be moved. I couldn’t let go of my sentimentality towards my husband, and at the same time, I was blaming him for not being in a good cultivation state. This caused my non-practitioner in-laws to question why Dafa practitioners do not see the doctor. I felt great pressure in my heart, and my righteous thoughts became weaker and weaker. Negative thoughts appeared in my mind, such as: Would my husband be persecuted to death from this? Would my in-laws have negative thoughts about Dafa, etc. I then realised I needed to clear my own field first before being able to help others. My heart was calm after I sent forth righteous thoughts, and I began to look within. I discovered that my attachment in this regard was that I relied on my husband too much and had strong sentimentality towards him. Recently, I have not been diligent with Fa study and doing the exercises, and I realised my cultivation state was not good. With an impure heart, I didn’t think I could help other practitioners and might actually interfere with them. By looking within, I suddenly had a very strong thought: I really wanted to do more exercises and watch the DVD of the lecture to Australian practitioners again. I immediately stopped what I was doing and started doing the exercises and then started watching the lecture. After a short time, a miracle occurred, I heard my husband from the room saying he wanted to see Master as well. Later, he walked out from the dark room and watched the lecture with me. Within a short period of time, he was back to normal. This experience made me feel deeply that: “Buddha’s light shines everywhere, propriety and righteousness harmonize everything.”(Zhuan Falun) I also came to understand that Dafa disciples have to cultivate solidly so that we can truly assist Master to save sentient beings.

 

经过这件事,我发现自己对病业关从来没有很好的认识,有时分不清到底是在消业还是被干扰,应该承受还是否定?在学习了《二零一三年大纽约地区法会讲法》的一段法后,我终于有了明确的认识,师父说:“目前消业也好,邪恶的因素干扰也好,都是旧势力干的,都是一回事,叫法不同。旧势力干的事我都否定的,我都不承认的,更不应该有让大法弟子承受这些痛苦的事情。”

Through this incident, I discovered that I never had a good understanding of sickness karma. I often cannot distinguish if it is karma or interference, should I bear it or should I deny it. But after studying a question and answer from Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference, I finally have a clear understanding. Master said: “Currently, whether it is karma elimination or interference from evil factors, that is all the work of the old forces. It’s all the same – they are just called different names. I am against all that the old forces do. I don’t accept any of it. And even less so should Dafa disciples be made to endure such suffering.”

 

二、正念正信的考验

2. Test of righteous thoughts and righteous belief

 

和丈夫一起闯病业关不久后,考验又来了。一天,我们四岁的孩子突然哭闹说耳朵痛,眼睛肿了起来,吃不了东西,开始呕吐。向来非常健康的孩子突然出现这种状况,我虽然知道又是冲着我的心来的,但是脑中还是闪过了一丝不好的念头:“孩子到底算不算修炼人呢?年纪这么小,又没有天天学法炼功…。”当时刚好到了发正念时间,我跟孩子说,我们一起发正念,铲除干扰你的不好的东西。孩子立刻同意,盘起小腿,和我一起清除病魔假象。正念发完,孩子突然很想睡觉,我就在一旁读《转法轮》给她听。一打开书正好是第三讲,师父说:“我把学员都当作弟子:大家知道吗?我做了一件什么事情啊?我把所有的学员都当作弟子来带,包括自学能真正修炼的人。”我立刻明白,惭愧的在心里向师父道歉,我不该怀疑,这也是对大法不够坚定的表现。

Not long after my husband’s tribulation, another test arrived. One day, our 4-year old child was crying, complaining of a painful ear. Her eye was also swollen, she couldn’t eat, and she threw up. Being normally very healthy, I knew this was another test for me. Even so, I still had a wrong thought: “Is she really a cultivator at such a young age and not doing Fa study and exercises every day?” At the time, it happened to be FZN. I told my child: “Let’s FZN together to clear away the bad things interfering with you.” She agreed immediately, sat in lotus, and sent righteous thoughts. After FZN, my child was suddenly very sleepy. I then read Zhuan Falun to her. When I first opened the book, it was Lecture 3 and Master said: “I am Taking All Students as Disciples. You know what? Know what I’m doing here? I’m taking all students as disciples to guide, and that includes people who learn on their own but are still able to truly cultivate.” I immediately realised and felt sorry in my heart to Master, that I shouldn’t have doubts, which showed my lack of belief in Dafa.

 

静心读了半讲后,我的心态平稳了,一旁的孩子也睡得很香。当时想:“孩子很幸运,有师父管!人各有命,我的情必需要放掉才行。”所以我决定继续做我当天该做的事,不再担心孩子。大约一个多小时后,孩子醒了,她开心的说:“我的耳朵不痛了,全好了!”看着她气色红润的小脸,我知道师父已经帮她清理了,赶紧让她双手合十感谢师父。

After reading half of the lecture, my heart stabilised. My child was next to me and was fast asleep, and I thought: “My daughter is so lucky. Master is looking after her! Everyone has their own fate, and I must let go of my sentimentality”. Therefore, I decided to continue on with what I had planned to do that day and not worry about her. About one hour later, my child woke up and said happily: “My ear is not painful anymore, all fixed!” Looking at her rosy cheeks, I knew Master had already cleared out the bad things for her. I quickly asked her to thank Master with Heshi.

 

三、去除根本执著

3. Eliminating my fundamental attachment

 

今年接二连三让我听到、看到同修过病业关,我悟到是慈悲的师父看见我还没彻底放下根本执著,又一次给我修去的机会。

I kept seeing and hearing about fellow practitioners suffering from sickness karma this year. I knew that our benevolent Master was giving me another opportunity to truly let go of my fundamental attachment.

 

我并不是因为病痛走入修炼的,但却是在对人生充满绝望和悲伤时得法的。第一次读《转法轮》时觉得,终于找到可以解脱痛苦和生死轮回的大法,当时并不知道这颗有求之心后来成为我修炼中的一大障碍。所以每当看见别人在经历生死考验时,我的怕心和无助感也一触即发。

I did not start practising Dafa because of sickness, but I obtained Dafa when I was very depressed about life. When I read Zhuan Falun for the first time, I thought I’d finally found a way to end all suffering and reincarnations. I did not know this heart of pursuit would become one of the biggest obstacles in my cultivation later on. Thus, every time I saw others going through life-and-death tests, my attachment of fear and feeling of hopeless appeared immediately.

 

师父在《越最后越精进》一文中说:“一個人在修煉中會有很多關要過,造成的原因是從人出生以後就在不斷的對人類社會認識中產生著各種各樣的觀念,從而產生執著。因為人類社會就是苦難與利益享受並行的世界,人生就是有很多的苦難,無論你有多少錢、甚麼樣的社會階層。因為痛苦會使人難過,從而人自覺不自覺的就會對抗苦難,目地是想活的幸福一些,因此在追求幸福中人就會形成如何使自己不受傷害、如何好過、如何才能在社會中出人頭地、功成名就、如何能獲取更多、如何成為強者,等等。”得法前我就是一个向往所谓幸福的人,追求中受到很多伤害,也滋养了名利心、显示心、妒嫉心、争斗心等等。修炼后虽然渐渐意识到自己许多不好的观念和执著,但从没真正下决心修去。

Master said in the article “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”: “A person has many tests to overcome in the course of cultivation, one reason being, from the time of birth on, a person ceaselessly forms notions of every sort as he comes to an understanding of human society, and attachments result. Because human society is a place in which suffering goes hand-in-hand with enjoyment, life does abound with suffering, however wealthy you may be or however high your status. Because pain is hard on people, they try to, consciously or unconsciously, ward off suffering in hopes of leading a more pleasant life. And so it is that in the pursuit of happiness people form ideas about how to avoid harm, how to live well, how to get ahead in society and achieve fame and success, how to acquire more for themselves, how to come out on top, and so on.” Before practising Dafa, I was always pursuing so-called happiness. During the process, I was hurt badly and developed attachments of fame, showing off, jealousy, competitive mentality, etc. Even though I gradually saw many of my bad notions and attachments after I became a practitioner, I was never truly determined to get rid of them thoroughly.

 

几年前,接连听到五个常人亲友突然死亡的消息,其中有和我一起长大的、有非常年轻的、也有各方面都很优秀的。由于触碰到了我的根本执著,心一下子就无法承受。我开始出现大量思想业的干扰,加上自己的怕心,长时间都吃不下、睡不好,学法也入不了心,天天感到精神压力很大。当时我并不知道自己为什么被邪恶钻了空子,也排除不了干扰,但魔难中我守住了一念- 我只走我师父安排的路。所以当时再怎么难受,我都坚持参加集体学法和炼功,参与的正法项目也逼着自己不能停止,坚决否定旧势力的安排。过程中我才慢慢发现自己的根本执著,最终在师父的加持下、家人同修们的帮助下,闯出了魔难。

A few years ago, five non-practitioner relatives and friends of mine passed away one after another, including someone I grew up with, someone at a young age, and someone who was excellent in many aspects. This news hit right on my fundamental attachment and I was not able to handle it. I began to be interfered with by a lot of thought karma and my attachment of fear. I was not able to eat and sleep well for a long time. I also couldn’t study the Fa properly. I felt my mind was extremely intense every day. I couldn’t figure out why I was being interfered with by the evil at the time, and I also couldn’t eliminate it. However, I kept telling myself during that tribulation to only follow Master’s arrangement. Therefore, it didn’t matter how uncomfortable I was back then, I did not stop attending group study and exercises, I also forced myself to continue all the Fa-rectification projects I was involved in, completely denying the old force’s arrangements. I gradually discovered my fundamental attachment during the tribulation, and finally broke through it with Master’s and practitioners’ help.

 

当年惨痛的教训让我体悟到,放不下生死、放不下人的东西是无法走向神的。这次我又挖根向内找,问自己:都得法了为什么还怕死呢?我找到怕心的背后其实是自私。害怕看见亲友遭受痛苦,说穿了其实是害怕自己难过,担心自己无法承受情感的冲击。而固执的旧观念也让我没修好的一面觉得,病痛和死亡是造成人们不幸福的根源,所以一遇到这样的事我就浑身不自在。前阵子我在电脑上打字时,不断将“修炼”两个字误打成“留恋”,我知道是师父在点化我,要修炼就别再留恋人世间的幸福,要扎扎实实的修,要以苦为乐。师父在《转法轮》里说:“人家说:我来到常人社会这里,就象住店一样,小住几日,匆匆就走了。有些人就是留恋这地方,把自己的家给忘了。”在法理上明白后,自身不好的物质也去掉了许多。

That painful lesson a few years ago helped me realise that by not letting go of life and death and not letting go of being a human, a cultivator will not be able to walk towards Godhood. At this time, I looked within even more, asking myself: “You have already obtained the Fa, why are you still afraid of death?” I found selfishness was actually hiding behind the attachment of fear, fear of seeing family and friends suffering. In fact, I feared the feeling of sadness and worried that I was unable to withstand the impact of emotions. Also, the stubborn old notions made me believe that sickness and death are the roots of unhappiness, so I always felt very uneasy when something like that happened. A while ago, when I was typing on my computer, I kept typing the characters “Xiu Lian” (cultivation) mistakenly as “Liu Lian”(dread leaving). I knew Master was giving me a hint, which was not to dread leaving human happiness if I want to cultivate, but to cultivate solidly and treat hardship as joy. Master said in Zhuan Falun: “But then there are others who say, ‘My coming here to the ordinary world is just like staying at a hotel. I’m only going to stay here a few days and then leave in a hurry.’ Some people just dread leaving this place, and they’ve forgotten their own homes.” After understanding this based on the Fa, I felt many bad substances of mine were eliminated.

 

四、修炼如初

4. Cultivating as if you were just starting

 

这次从新看了师父对澳洲学员的讲法后,内心百感交集。07年在美国亲耳聆听师尊讲法至今,我改变了多少?意识到自己距离师父和正法的要求还差之千里,我决定要从新开始。

After watching Lecture to Australian Practitioners again recently, I had mixed feelings inside my heart. How much have I changed since listening to Master’s teaching personally in the US in 2007? I realised I am still far behind Master’s and Fa ratification’s requirements, so I have decided to start again.

回顾一下近期的修炼状态,发现自己还是做事多,不够重视个人修炼。多年来凌晨两点的全球发正念我参与的很少,因此我开始要求自己半夜起来发正念。另外,我也发现以前太会浪费时间,现在只要一想偷懒放松,我就督促自己抓紧时间学法和炼功。结果花更多的时间在学法炼功上,其他的事不但一点也没耽误,反而事半功倍,更有效率。自我动念想要开始精进后,不修炼的婆婆也主动要多帮忙带孩子,这使得我有更多时间做好三件事。

I reviewed my recent cultivation state and discovered that I am doing many projects, but not treating my personal cultivation seriously enough. I have hardly participated in the 2am global FZN for a long time; therefore, I started to ask myself to wake up for FZN. In addition, I also realised I wasted a lot of time in the past, so I started to remind myself to do more Fa study and exercises whenever I felt I wanted to be lazy. As a result, I spent more time on Fa study and exercises, which didn’t delay other things, but in fact made them efficient and they required less effort. Since I had the thought of wanting to be more diligent, my non-practitioner mother-in-law actively offered to look after my child more often, so that allowed me more time to do the three things.

 

我逐渐找回了修炼初期的感受。炼功时,法轮又在小腹部位开始转动,全身上下热乎乎的。还有像刚得法时那样,心里很想和大法弟子在一起、很期待集体学法的心找回来了。对同修的间隔感也消失了,觉得大法弟子都是一家人,越看越亲。另外,想抓紧救人的慈悲心突然增强许多,我主动加入了向中国人劝三退的行列之中,感激师父给我这个神圣的任务和机会。

I gradually rediscovered the feeling of when I first started practising. When I was doing the exercises, Falun began to spin again in my lower abdomen; my whole body was boiling hot. Also, I feel like spending time with Dafa disciples and really look forward to attending group Fa study. The gaps between me and other practitioners seemed to disappear. I now feel all Dafa disciples are my close family. Moreover, my compassion for saving sentient beings has increased a lot. I actively joined in a quit CCP project to help save Mainland Chinese people. I thank Master for giving me this sacred mission and opportunity.

 

在体验修炼如初的过程中,我感受到大法无边,而自己渺小的不如一粒尘埃。在大法的沐浴中,执著自我的心逐渐在变小。今生能与主佛同在,有幸参与正法,我谦卑的心充满无限感恩。弟子无以回报师尊的一片苦心,唯有更加精进走好未来的路。

During the process of experiencing cultivating as if I was just starting, I felt that Dafa was boundless, and I was as tiny as a speck of dust. Under the power of Dafa, my attachment of self is getting smaller. I was able to be born in this life while Master is here, and participate in Fa-rectification. My humble heart feels very honoured and thankful. As a disciple, I have nothing equivalent to return to Master, but I will be more diligent on my path from now on.

 

最后以师尊在《大紐約地區法會講法》中的一段话与同修共勉:“作為我這個當師父的來講,對於大法弟子,我不求他們任何東西。他們今天所有做的這一切,證實法也好、救度眾生也好、自己的學法修煉,我告訴你,一樣也不是給我做的。將來大法弟子都會看到,大法弟子所做的一切都是為了自己,救度的是自己的眾生,圓滿的是自己的世界與眾生,給自己在樹立威德,所有的一切都是為了大法弟子自己,你沒有一樣是給師父做的,也沒有一樣是給別人做的。(鼓掌)所以也不需要強制於他們甚麼。學員都是從法理的認識上昇華上來的,才能夠變的更精進,才能夠對法那麼樣堅定啊。這不是外在的因素,也不是想甚麼辦法能夠達到的。師父不求任何東西,不會拿他們任何東西,我只會給他們,還替其承擔,一定是這樣的!”

Finally, I would like to share with you a few words from Master in Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference: “From my perspective, as your Master, I don’t seek anything from Dafa disciples. Everything that they’re doing today – be it validating the Fa, saving sentient beings, or studying the Fa and cultivating themselves – I can tell you that not one of these things is done for me. In the future, Dafa disciples will see that everything Dafa disciples did was for their own sake. What are saved are their own sentient beings, what they’re consummating are their own paradises and sentient beings, and they’re establishing mighty virtue for themselves – all these things are done for Dafa disciples’ own sake. Not a single thing you’ve done is for Master, and not a single thing you’ve done is for anybody else.

 

“So there’s no need to force them to do anything. All the students rise by understanding the Fa’s principles, and that’s the only way they can become more diligent, and that’s the only way they can become so steadfast in the Fa. That’s not due to any external factor, and it can’t be achieved by coming up with some methods. Master doesn’t seek anything, and he won’t take anything from them. I only give things to them and bear things for them. That’s definitely the case!”

 

层次有限,如有不当之处,请同修慈悲指正。谢谢师父!谢谢大家!

This is my limited understanding. Please correct me if there is anything inappropriate.

 

Thank you Master! Thank you everyone!

 

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