回家的路

The Way Home

H Shi

 

尊敬的师父好!各位同修大家好!

Greetings Master, greetings practitioners

 

我在1995年得法。在我小的時候,因為父母都修炼,所以我也比较精进,跟着妈妈炼功、学法,而且很小就会背哄吟了。我印象最深的就是《哄吟一》里面的“苦其心志”:

My name is Hui Shi, and I have been practising Dafa since 1995. When I was young, I practised with my parents, so I was diligent. I cultivated with my mum, did exercises and studied the Fa. And when I was young, I could recite Hong Yin. The most impressive article for me in Hong Yin was Tempering One’s Heart and Will.

 

圓滿得佛果吃苦當成樂

勞身不算苦修心最難過

關關都得闖處處都是魔

百苦一齊降看其如何活

吃得世上苦出世是佛陀

 

Reaching Consummation, obtaining Buddha’s Fruit,

Eating bitterness treated as joy.

Toiling the body does not count as bitterness,

Cultivating the heart is most agonizing.

Each and every barrier must be broken through,

Here and there, demons are everywhere.

A hundred hardships falling all at once,

See how one lives.

Able to endure suffering in the world,

Transcending the world, is a Buddha.

 

在迫害开始的时候,父母频频被抓,我也没有感到害怕,可是方方面面的因素,却使我学法炼功变得没那么精进了。

When the persecution started, my parents were arrested several times, but I didn’t feel any fear. However, due to many reasons, my cultivation was not that diligent.

 

2009年我便只身一人來到了澳洲,虽然在办理身份的时候遇到了各种各样的磨难和阻碍,但是那个时候我会向内找,坚持多学法,终于在师父和同修的帮助下拿到了永居身份。

In 2009, I came to Australia. Although I met different kinds of tribulations and hindrances, I was always able to look within and keep studying the Fa. Finally, with the help of Master and practitioners, I got my Permanent Residency.

 

我于2011年加入一个讲真相的媒体项目,主要的工作是排版。回顾这两年,这个项目给我提供了很好的修炼环境,也给了我很多提高心性的机会,发生的很多事情都历历在目。

In 2011, I joined a media truth clarification project doing layout. Looking backwards the last 2 years, this project gave me a good cultivation environment and also gave me the chance to improve my xinxing. Many things have happened and I have fresh memories of them all.

 

刚进媒体的时候,我还从未接触过报纸与排版,一切都是那么的陌生,无论是人和事,都不知道如何处理。当时不知道怎么就有一念:我对于这个项目来说,好像“多一个不多,少一个不少”吧。所以在做事上就显得比较散漫和不认真。最简单的小说版都排不好,每次都会有那么一两个错误。不知道为什么就是做不好,总是不是这里错就是那里错,我很困惑。可是当时我并没有向内找,没有拿起《转法轮》来学法,没有想想自己到底有什么问题,而是为自己找借口:我才刚刚进来,不要对自己有这么高的要求,慢慢来吧!

When I began media work, I did not have any experience in editing a newspaper or layout; everything was totally new and strange to me. No matter it was people or things I did not know how to deal with. I do not know why, but at that time I had such a thought: “For this project, I am an unimportant person. Whether I am do this or not, there isn’t any difference. “Because of this thought, I was careless and slack in my work. Even the simplest fiction paper I did very poorly; every time there were 1 or 2 mistakes. I’m not sure why it happened, but there were always some mistakes. I was confused. But at that time, I did not look within nor study Zhuan Falun. I did not think of my own problem, but looked for excuses: “I just came into the Fa. I do not need to give myself such a high standard. I will take my time.”

 

后来我被安排接手论坛版的排版,那是我首次排一个图文并茂、有着一个正式结构的版。一开始的两个星期不是怎么理想,但慢慢的我开始对排版有了一点感觉了。安排我工作的同修表扬我有一期的论坛版排得很好,哎呀,那时候欢喜心一下就上来了:我就说其实是时间的问题吧,你看现在不做得挺好的!这一来,就更加没有找自己的不足,而是沉浸在自我的满足中。其实在那时,我根本就没有一个修炼人应该有的状态,并且没有怎么学法了。再后来,我就觉得自己在被一个框框住了,排版好像没有什么进步的空间了。然而,我依然没有找自己,然后那个很不好的念头又上来了:这么认真干嘛,应付应付就好了,多我一个也不多嘛。

Then I was arranged to be in charge of forum layout. That was the first time the layout work included both words and pictures, which is a formal structure layout. The first 2 weeks, the work was not that good, but gradually I gained the feeling for doing layout work. The coordinating practitioner praised me that one of my layouts was wonderful. Suddenly, my zealotry came out: see, this is what I think, it is all time issue. Now, I can do it well. Then I ignored even more looking within. Instead, I was immersed in my self-satisfaction. At that time, I did not have the mindset that a practitioner should have. What’s more, I rarely studied the Fa. After that, I found I was framed by a frame; my layout work did not improve. Still, I did not look within and then that bad thought came up again: “Why should I work so hard? I don’t need to be that careful as I am not that important to this job.”

 

就在我执迷不悟的时候,有一次去打球,就在一个很平的地上,不知为何就扭到了脚,肿了一大块,当时也没去在意它。过了一段时间,又扭到同一个地方,可是我还是不悟,还是没当一回事,继续我行我素的。

When I was in this situation, one day I went to play. On a very level playground, I twisted my foot and my foot became swollen. At that time, I did not pay attention to this; then later, I twisted my foot again, the same foot I injured previously, but I still did not enlighten and continued to act as before.

 

那时我真的不觉得我有什么做的不对的,就是比较贪玩,随着朋友同学去这里去那里的,我觉得很正常。在常人的这个大染缸中,难免会被这个拽住被那个拽住,吃喝玩乐的我还觉得蛮开心的,其实我已经深深的迷在了人中,深到我自己都意识不到自己有多迷,不能用法来要求自己,也不能把自己当作一个修炼人看待问题,而长时间的不学法让我不知道自己已经越走越远了。

At that time, I did not think I was doing anything wrong; I just felt like playing. I hung out with my friends and classmates in different places, and I thought that was quite normal. In this big dye vat of ordinary people, it is easy to be pulled down by different things. Playing with ordinary people, hanging out, I felt very happy. I actually was lost in delusion and in the human world. I couldn’t even realise how lost I had become. I couldn’t measure myself according to the Fa and I couldn’t treat myself as a practitioner. Due to my lack of Fa study, I didn’t even realise I was moving away from the Fa further and further.

 

然而,慈悲的师父并没有放弃我,一次又一次的重锤敲我,可是我还是无法从这个大染缸中醒来。终于在两个月前,我所参与的媒体的社长、总编、副总编把我找到了编辑部,说要和我谈谈,听到这个消息后,我开始自我反省了:是我哪里做得不好吗?排版还是哪些地方没认真对待?出乎我意料的是,他们找我谈的并不只是我做版方面的事,更重要的是我这两年来的修炼状态。长期的不学法、不炼功,脑中没有法,没有正念,没有目标,我已经迷在了常人中。他们与我的交流和对我的提醒就犹如当头棒喝,让我一下就明白了我已经走得太远了,迷得太深了!我担心自己还能、还有机会走回来吗?可是那时总编的一句话让我坚定了信心:以前怎么样、做了什么不要紧,你是一张白纸,染黑的只不过是那一个角,赶快把它抹掉,就好了。那天晚上,我拿起了《转法轮》开始读,那种亲切感仿佛就像我投入了一个温暖的怀抱里,学着法,我又渐渐的看到了我要走的路、我应该走的路。我在这个世上的目的,不是跟随常人吃喝玩乐的,是为了修炼自己和救度他们。是师父借着同修的口点醒了我、把我从迷茫中拽了回来。

But Master did not give up on me. He enlightened me again and again, but I still could not awaken from human society’s big dye vat. Finally, 2 months ago, the coordinator, chief editor and vice editor of the media I was working with said they wanted to talk with me. At that time, I started to look within. Did I do something that wasn’t good? Wasn’t I careful enough with my layout work or other work? To my surprise, what they talked about was not my layout work; instead, they talked about my cultivation situation over the last 2 years. No Fa study, no exercise practice for a long time; there was no Fa, no righteous thoughts, no goals in my head. I was already lost in the human world. Their sharing and reminder to me was a stick warning to me. It let me realise I had been far away from the Fa and been deeply lost. I worried whether I would still be able to come back, whether I would still have the chance to come back. But one sentence from the chief editor gave me confidence: “It does not matter what you did previously and what you were like before. You are a piece of white paper; the only part that is black is just a corner. Just erase it quickly. That is OK.” That evening, I held Zhuan Falun and started to read it again. The cordial feeling made my arms feel warm. During studying the Fa, I gradually saw the path I will go and should go down. The purpose of living in this world for me is not to stay with those ordinary people, but to cultivate myself and save sentient beings. This is what Master told me and awakened in me via practitioners’ mouths, and this saved me from confusion and being lost.

 

再一次回到了法中,我明白了自己应该干什么、不应该干什么。当法时时刻刻在心中的时候,又有什么磨难、什么干扰能够挡住我呢?我不仅要修好自己,无数的众生也在等着我去救度啊,不管怎样,我要尽快跟上正法的脚步。

Come back to the Fa; I clearly knew what I should do and what I should not do. When the Fa is in my heart, what tribulations and interference can stop me? I will not only cultivate myself well, there are also many sentient beings waiting for me to save them. Anyway, I will catch up with the progress of Fa rectification.

 

就在那次交流以后,为了让我们年轻的弟子精进,也为了媒体能少出问题,媒体协调人组织了每个星期一晚上的年轻人学法小组,我也参加了。虽然一开始读法的时候总是不那么通顺,但是我尽量认真的去读,用心去学法,希望做到不读错、读到心里去。

After that sharing, in order to make young practitioners more diligent and also to reduce problems, the media coordinator organised a Fa-study group for young practitioners once a week. And I joined as well. Although at the beginning my reading was not very smooth, I tried my best to read and learn by heart, and I tried not to make any mistakes and read it into my heart.

 

就在这个学法小组成立一个月后,有一件事情发生了。一天我开车从后门出去的时候,前面的车已经准备开出去了,半个车身都已经开到马路上,我就紧跟着它,结果它突然一刹车,我砰一下就撞到了前面车的车尾。司机跳下来,很生气地问我怎么搞的,会不会开车啊?我连声说对不起。他说得赔$2500。我当时就被吓住了。我从来都没有撞过别人的车,而且要陪那么多钱,这令我手足无措。当时我就想:怎么会这样呢?最近我还算蛮精进的,法也学了,功也有练,怎么还会发生这种事情呢?师父怎么没管我呢?

After one month after the Fa-study group was established, something happened. One day, I was driving out from the back door. The car in front of me had already driven out and half of the car was on the road. I was following it, but suddenly it stopped and my car hit it. The driver was very angry and criticised me: “What are you doing? Don’t you know how to drive?!” I kept saying sorry, but he asked for a $2500 payment. I was scared. I had never had any crash or car accident, and the bill was big for me. I did not know what to do. I was wondering: “Why is it so? Recently, I have been diligent; I have kept reading the Fa and doing the exercises. Why has this thing still happened to me? Why didn’t Master take care of me?"

 

忽然间,前几个星期学的《二零一三年大纽约地区法会讲法》一段法出现在脑海中:“而且旧势力为了搞乱这个环境,所谓的考验人,看你对这个法的认识是真的、假的,你相信与不相信,所以它有意搞的真真假假叫人看不清。”我一想,对啊,这不也是正在考验我吗?那时我就对师父说:我信这个法,我要请师父帮忙。此念一出,我就不那么害怕了,冷静下来了。我给我一个修车厂的朋友打了个电话,他告诉我根本不用那么多钱,最多500块。于是我就跟那位车主讨价还价,我说我没有钱,最多只能赔你$500。可是他不干。我接着发正念,说你要相信我,我朋友说500元绝对能修好你的车。

Suddenly, some Fa came to my mind, which I had studied several weeks before in Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference: The old forces have sought to make this a confusing environment and supposedly ‘test’ people. They have wanted to see whether your understanding of the Fa is real and whether you believe. So they have intentionally mingled true and false and made it hard for people to see things clearly.” Then I thought: “That’s right, isn’t it a test for me?” Then I talked to Master: “I believe in this Fa; I need Master’s help.” After this thought came out, I was not that scared and calmed down. I called my friend whose work is repairing cars. He told me was not worth that much, at most $500. Then I bargained with that driver. I said I did not have that much money; the most I could give was $500. But he wouldn’t accept that. I kept sending righteous thoughts to him and told him: “Please trust me; my friend said $500 is enough to repair your car.”

 

在交谈中他知道了我是学生,见我真的没钱赔他,无可奈何的说:唉唉唉,500元就500元吧。我很激动,一下省了两千块钱。我就坐他的车回家拿钱给他。在回来的路上,我认识到今天碰到他不应该是无缘无故的,我是不是应该也要做些什么呢?随着这一念,我就开始和他聊天,问他是哪里人,他说是上海人,我一想,中国人,这下缘分大了。我就开始问他对中共邪党的态度,他说他很不喜欢中共邪党,所以30年前就跑来澳洲了。这不是正好给了我帮他退党的机会吗?他告诉他小时候没有什么少先队什么的,只有红卫兵,我知道那也是中共邪党的东西,所以我就问他,你现在在一个自由的国家,你有想过要退出中共邪党,跟它完全脱离关系吗?本来我以为他会很爽快的答应,可是他没有,他一口说了不,他说他不想参与政治,还说你也不要参与。我就有点慌了,可是马上我又集中了正念,继续跟他讲真相:你想想啊,你看中共邪党现在都这么腐败了,如果有一天他倒台了,你还是它的一部份,你不得跟他一起倒了吗?这不危险吗?如果你不想参与政治,你可以用你的英文名退啊(因为在讨价的时候我得知了他的英文名叫Martin),这样谁都不知道那是你,你也没有参与政治,然后你又可以跟中共脱离关系,这不是一举两得吗?他沉默了,没有回答我的话。我就继续跟他讲述中共邪党的历史,中国被邪党搞得多么多么不像样,中共邪党杀了多少人。然后我又问了他一次:你愿意相信我一次,退出这个红卫兵,与中共脱离关系吗?他很小声的说了一句:Yes。就在他说完yes的那一秒,这个人就笑了,我看他真的是发自内心的笑了,我知道是他明白的那一面为他的这个决定感到高兴。我还对他说,你要把我今天跟你说的话跟你家人说,让他们也退,跟中共脱离关系,他连声说好。

During our conversation, he came to know I was a student, and he realised I really didn’t have money to pay him. He compromised and said $500 was ok. I was excited because I was saving $2000. Then he drove me home to get the money. On the way, I realised that meeting him was not a coincidence. Should I say something? With this thought, I started to chat with him. I asked where he came from and he said Shanghai. He was Chinese and must be a predestined person. Then I asked his attitude about the CCP. He said he did not like CCP; that’s why he came to Australia 30 years ago. Wasn’t this a chance to help him quit the CCP? He said when he was young, there was no “Young Pioneers” only the “Red Guards”. I knew that was part of the CCP organisation so I asked him now that he was in a free country, had he thought of quitting the CCP, cut all connections with the CCP? I thought he would say yes without hesitation; however, he did not. He said he did not want to quit it and he did not want to be political. Also, he reminded me not to be involved in politics either. I panicked a little, but very quickly found my righteous thoughts again and kept clarifying the truth to him. “Think about it, how corrupt the CCP is. If one day the CCP falls, you are part of it. Don’t you collapse with it? Isn’t it dangerous? If you do not want to be political, you can use an English name, because when we were bargaining, I knew his English name was Martin. Then no one will know it is you and you will not be involved in political things. At the same time, you have disconnected from the CCP. Isn’t that good?” He was silent and did not answer me. I kept talking about the CCP’s history, how China has been destroyed by the CCP, and how many people were killed by the CCP. Then I asked him again: “Would you like to trust me to quit the “Red Guards” and quit the CCP?” He said in a low voice: “Yes.” After he said it, he smiled. I could see the smile was from his heart and I knew this was from the other part of him, the understanding part of him that was happy for his right choice. I told him to share what he heard from me with his family and ask them to quit the CCP as well. He kept saying: “Yes, yes, yes.”

 

在开车回家的路上,我流泪了,我深深的感受到了师父的伟大和慈悲,感受到师父讲的碰到的什么事情都是好事的道理。我明白不管什么时候师父不会不管我,只要我想修,只要我精进学法,师父就会慈悲的帮我,并且把众生送到我们面前。尽管我之前很不精进,可是师父没有放弃我,还是一直管着我。

On my way back home, I was crying because I could feel the greatness and compassion of Master, and I understood the Fa principle Master explained that whatever happens is a good thing for cultivators. I know that no matter what, Master will not ignore me. As long as I want to cultivate, as long as I remain diligent and study the Fa, Master will help me with his compassion and send those predestined sentient beings to me. Although I was slack before, Master did not give up on me and is still taking care of me.

 

以后我会好好的学好法,做好三件事,助师正法。今后在媒体的工作中,我也会尽力做好每一件事情,尽量认真的完成安排给我的工作,然而人是有惰性的,如今后有什么做的不好的地方,请同修多多包容与指正。

In the future, I will study the Fa, do the three things well, and help Master rectify the Fa. In my future media work, I will do my best with everything and take full care. I know human beings have laziness. If I do something improper in the future, please point it out and be tolerant.

 

最后,我感谢师父,我想对您说:“师父,我没有辜负您,我走回来了,我知道哪里是家,哪一条才是回家的路。”

Last, but not least, I want to thank Master and I want to say: “Master, I will not fail You. I came back, I know where my home is and I know which path leads me home.”

 

感谢大家倾听我的一点点体会,不当之处请慈悲指正。

Thank you all for listening. If anything is improper, please correct it.

 

谢谢师父!谢谢同修!

Thank you Master. Thank you all.

 

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