Sharing some understanding in my cultivation
On 18th June 2009, I walked out of the
plane and stepped onto land in
I had worked in
After I got here, due to the attachment of fear, I didn’t dare to contact local fellow practitioners or tell ordinary people that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I didn’t even clarify the facts once. I was vey poor then. I worked part-time in a fish and chip shop and lived behind the shop. Everyday was filled with work and study. At last the summer break came and I finally had more free time. One day, I opened up the Minghui website, starting to study Master’s Fa.
“Because it hasn't ended yet, it is still
an opportunity for all beings. Master has been waiting for you over and over
again!” (Teaching and Explaining the Fa
at the Metropolitan
On 24th December 2009, I made a phone
call to fellow practitioners and found the group exercise site in
Most of the tribulations Dafa
disciples encounter stem from our attachments, human notions and karma. Looking
back on the three years in
“Cultivating gong has a path; mind is the
way. On the boundless
As a practitioner, I often feel ashamed of seeing attachments within myself and upset that I can’t completely eliminate some of my attachments for a long time. Cultivation is serious and does not allow any excuses. I’d like to take this opportunity to further expose my attachments. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate
Abandoning the attachment to vanity through tribulations
I used to be that kind of person who tends to despise others, but also worry about being despised. Its root is the attachment for fame; digging deeper, it’s the attachment of emotion and sentimentality.
When I first joined the practitioners in
I was unwilling to accept the identity of a refugee
for a long time. In my opinion, I had a Masters degree and the title of university
lecturer; plus I used to be a minor official at my workplace in
It was because of this very attachment that Master arranged a better cultivation environment for me. Afterwards, I not only became a refugee, but also encountered tribulations which helped me relinquish my attachment to fame step by step.
I worked on construction sites for one year. A lot of my co-workers were illegal immigrants. Until then, I still had the human attachment of conceit. At first, all of my tasks were dirty, tiring and dangerous. I had to wash tools in filthy brown water, then I fell from an old and broken ladder and couldn’t get up because of the pain. I had to polish walls in a dusty closed room and found a lot of white secretion in my nostrils and in the corners of my eyes the following morning. Once I climbed a big slope while pulling a piece of construction material weighing 160 kg. I heard my spine crack. Despite this, my foreman rebuked me for being lazy and I was not paid well. But I didn’t think it was so bad because on the one hand, I was so poor that I had no choice; and on the other hand, I wanted to save up some money so I would be available participate in Dafa projects in the future. Therefore, I held on until the work was finished. I had suddenly become one of the people at the bottom of society. This experience made me undergo a huge psychological tribulation that enabled me to cultivate solidly in the everyday people’s environment and assimilate myself gradually to Dafa. My attachment to vanity has also been eliminated bit by bit. At the same time, enormous amounts of karma were cleansed from my body. Thank you, Master!
Relinquishing the attachment to competitiveness through tribulations
Last November, a 24-hour cafe was opened diagonally opposite my house’s balcony. Even when it was still getting ready to open I had to go over there and complain about the loud music. After it was opened, it sometimes became very noisy and there were several times when a live band came and played loudly until after midnight. I complained to the City Hall and at the same time called the police, but the problem was not solved. Everyday when I got back home, I could hear the music, sometimes loud and sometimes quiet. I felt really annoyed. As time passed, I even started to have a grudge against the place and sometimes wanted to “throw a glass bottle towards it”.
Later, things got worse. Because I hadn’t abandoned the attachment to competitiveness for such a long time and I didn’t even realize it, my neighbor began to make noise as well. For two Saturday nights in a row, he played music at high volume all night long. The second time, I failed to maintain my xinxing. I smacked his door hard and rang the doorbell while yelling and complaining. Only after being sworn at did I come to my senses
One day, during Fa study, I realized that the noise had gone on for more than six months so it must be interference. Therefore, I started to send forth righteous thoughts for a long time. One hour later, the noise stopped. However, I felt that something was wrong.
My wife told me that she heard nothing most of the time. Obviously, everything happened because of my attachment. Confronted by the noise, I thought my rights were being violated and tried to solve the problem at first through ordinary people’s approaches, and then through cultivation, but only in a very superficial way. My motives were all about protecting my own interests and protecting myself from discomfort. They were all about selfishness. My sending forth righteous thoughts at that time was exactly like what Master said:
“you pour out your grievances to me over the loss of your worldly interests” (Essentials for Further Advancement True Cultivation).
The noise was also like what Master told us in Zhuan Falun (chapter six):
“Once this person falls asleep, someone will seek him out for a fight, and this makes his night restless. Actually, this is the time to remove his attachment to competitiveness. If this competitive mentality is not relinquished, he will always be this way. As time passes, he still cannot move beyond this level after several years.”
The consequence of the noise was not benevolent, but I cannot eliminate unkind factors with an unkind mentality. Dafa disciples cultivate Shan. It is compassionate mercy which can benevolently resolve everything, eliminate bad elements and rectify everything. Even when we clear out evil factors, we do it with Shan rather than so-called “confrontation” or “payback” as would ordinary people: not to mention “treat them the way they treat you”. All our supernatural power is based on Shan. We can only meet the requirements when we have completely cultivated Shan.
The longer I cultivate the more I feel that it is like I just obtained the Fa. I often sigh deeply at the thought of my various long-standing attachments. Our cultivation environment is the ordinary human society. As long as this environment still exists, we have to face the trivia of everyday life. All the people, events and things around cultivators, big or small, are to see if we can treat them with righteous thoughts. Every one of our thoughts is positioning us. As Master sees it:
and every thought, and your every single action, reveals to me what your heart
is like.” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2010
As we reach the last leg of the journey, we are progressing according to our each and every thought which can reflect to what extent we cultivate well in a certain aspect and the height of our xinxing. To conclude, I’d like to share a paragraph of Master’s Fa with you to encourage all of us.
“I can tell you that your fundamental being understands things even more clearly than I’m putting them. The reason is, Master is now using the language of human beings to speak, whereas your true selves are very much aware, only it’s that postnatal factors of the Three Realms as well as those bad things have given rise in you to notions, experiences, and accumulations of things, burying you like dirt would, and preventing your true thoughts from coming back to the surface. So you have to cultivate. You have to climb out, wipe away those contaminating things, and wash yourself clean. That is precisely what you do in the cultivation process, and at the same time, while amidst ordeals, you must save people.” (Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa)