Echo Cheng, Melbourne
Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I obtained the Fa in Melbourne in July 2007. Due to being deeply poisoned by the party culture from a young age, I was not diligent in the first 2 years of cultivation. When my state was not good, I almost mixed myself with ordinary people. I have taken many detours in cultivation. However, the great compassionate Master never gave me up, even if it was only trace of righteous thoughts remaining in my mind, Master still gave me the opportunities again and again, enlightening me through the mouths of fellow practitioners or the sharing articles, enable me to go back on the righteous track of cultivation. Here, My limited words cannot express my gratitude for Master’s merciful salvation, also I am deeply grateful for the fellow practitioners who once helped me.
Late last year, my mother came to Australia to visit me. During her stay, she mentioned several times about my marriage. As all my family members are ordinary people, they all wanted me to get married sooner so I could settle down. I said to my mother perfunctorily that marriage is all relied on pre-destined relationship. But in my heart, I had a firm thinking that I will never fall in love and get married, because I think that were not only nurtures the attachment of sentiment in the name of "cultivation via maximum conforming to the current social status ", but also wasting time of saving sentient beings by leading a cozy life of ordinary people at this crucial time when Fa-rectification is near the end.
Earlier this year, a fellow practitioner who I have a good relationship with suddenly got married, I was shocked. Although I blessed her sincerely, my heart did not fully agree with her approach, not even putting my self down to look inside to find any attachment in this issue. Soon a fellow practitioner expressed his crush on me. For the first time, I refused him. But later on, when I saw him seriously doing Shenyun promotion and involved in media projects, my heart was touched. At first I was distressed by my feeling, because we have known each other for quite a while and have a good understanding of each other. It does not make sense for us to date, that can only nourish the attachment of sentiment. So the problem is whether to get married, or maintain the status quo.
Many times I knelt down in front of Master’s photo, seeking advices. I also shared with fellow practitioners around me, reading Minghui articles on the issue of marriage, but we all have different enlightenments. I send righteous thoughts to clear my attachments of "sentiment"and"desire”, but found that what confused me more was the issue of whether to get married or not. I know I can no longer be trapped in this state of "seek outward" rather than "looking inward." I can not be confused by today what she said was justified, tomorrow, what the article said was also right. The cultivation path should be made through by myself. If even Fa enlightenment has to be done through Master and fellow practitioners’ help, how to achieve my own world? To "clear enigma" the only way is to study Fa, study Fa more, everything was in the Master's Fa.
So I put in more efforts to study the Fa, not only study by myself, but also study online with that practitioner every day. At the same time, I also look inward and root out the underlying attachment. I listed the reasons for wanting to get married and not wanting to get married. I found that the reasons I didn’t want to get married was more for “selfishness”. I was afraid that my cultivation would be affected, afraid of taking responsibilities, afraid of other people's gossip. Since my state of cultivation in previous two years was sometimes good, sometimes bad, so when finally I really understand what is cultivation, what is Dafa, what are Dafa disciples’ mission, out of fear of further detours, I unintentionally make a lot of limiting framework for my cultivation. I almost did not make friends with ordinary people, my former friends, after telling the truth to them, I hardly keep on contacting with them. I also think that Dafa disciples should not get into love and get married. In fact, this was because I did not really realize that Dafa is all-encompassing, and great path without forms. Previous cultivation is to use forcing methods to clear out cultivators' human desires and attachments. Today Master teaches us Dafa, without taking these forms, we are required to cultivate ourselves clearly in a complicated environment, to eliminate those attachments. I looked like a ostrich, burying my heads in the sand and pretend that I did not have this attachment, didn’t have that attachment. It seemed to be that not getting married was to get rid of sentiments and desires. Master said "eating meat or not is not itself the purpose—— the key is to give up that attachment. " ("Zhuan Falun " Lecture 7) So, getting married or not was not the issue, the key point is whether it is on the right basis or not. Marriage is not like what I used to think, two people living in affection. Marriage means responsibilities. For practitioners, the marriage means not only be responsible for my own cultivation, but also responsible for the partner's cultivation. Two people together practice true cultivation and be more diligent, play a greater role in saving sentient beings, this is the meaning of practitioners’ marriage.
I once worried about that "marriage" was the way old forces arranged for me. In my Fa study, I realized although the arrangement of the old forces are very careful, sometimes difficult to distinguish, but as long as it was with righteous thoughts and righteous actions, every mind and thoughts would be on the Fa, then I believe, no matter what I choose, I must walk on the path arranged by Master. If I just keeping afraid of this, afraid of that, then not only it is a very serious attachment, but also the cultivation path will become narrower and narrower and more difficult. "All of you are already aware of the principle of mutual-generation and mutual-inhibition. If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist." ("Essentials for Further Advancement II " <Eliminate your last attachment(s) >). Fellow practitioners once kindly reminded me that, as I had taken a detour before, I should be careful that the old forces would make use of a loophole after the marriage. At first, I was worried about that as well, but later on I enlightened that every time I send forth righteous thoughts, thinking “denial arrangements of old force”, but I don’t quite understand how to deny them. Now I understand that “denial” means not admitting them fundamentally. Worrying about the old forces is to admitting them, admitting that as I didn’t let go my attachments or my previously detour, the arrangement by the old forces was then reasonable.Then of course there would be loopholes. Master said many times that Dafa cultivation is not the same as before, the so-called "test" by old forces is to hinder Fa-rectification process, hinder sentient beings being saved, which should not exist. My pervious attitude towards marriage has caused confusion and misunderstanding among my family members. Now I realized, as Dafa disciples, we cultivate righteously. We should also be good children in the human society. "Doing your job well in the ordinary human society is not only for the sake of cultivation or to display Dafa Disciples’ goodness among everyday people, but also to safeguard the Fa-principles that Dafa has created for ordinary human society." ("Essentials for Further Advancement II " <Dafa is All-Encompassing> )
Master said: " Many students understand only that doing the exercises and studying the Fa are cultivation. Yes, with those you directly engage the Fa. But as you go about truly cultivating yourself in your day-to-day life, the society that you come into contact with is your cultivation environment. The work and family environments that you spend time in are both settings in which you are to cultivate yourselves, are part of the path you must walk, are what you must handle, and handle correctly at that. None of these should be glossed over. When you have made it to the end, [a question would be]: How did you travel the path that Master arranged for you? When all is said and done, these things have to be taken into account. And in the course of your cultivation these things have to be looked at, too. So you shouldn't neglect anything. As far as convenience goes, [in Dafa] a person can cultivate without having to enter a monastery, go to a secluded mountain, or leave the secular world. But from another perspective, all of this adds a layer of difficulty: If you are to make it through, you have to do well with things such as all of the above, and do well in every aspect of your life. "( Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006)
Looking clearly at my attachments—— fear of falling off in cultivation, fear of being criticized, the attachment of fame, I decided to walk righteously the path of the marriage. I am going to expose all the hidden attachments I had when I was single, and clear them out. The attachment of sentiment and desires are not terrible, the terrible thing would be not trying hard to get rid of them and pretending I didn’t have those attachments. Maintaining the present status quo doesn’t mean I can consummate. Fa study and exercises cannot be taken as forms, "Accomplishing is cultivating ",if I didn’t practise solid cultivation, letting go various attachments, "consummation and returning with teacher” is just a big joke.
Before marriage I said to my future husband that, Master said many times, now saving sentient beings is the first priority. So if we cannot encourage each other to be diligent together, then it is not necessary to get married. Although we have been married for only two months, I really grew up a lot, I have learned to take responsibilities, to maintain a family, tolerant and respect each other. My "Missy temper",which I never found before, I am cultivating it off bit by bit. When we two are not doing well, we will look inward together and do better. In our media projects we can co-operate better.
I am not saying that I was right in getting married, I was going to extremes if I chose not to. I think if I had let go the attachment of “sentiment” resolutely and decisively, it would also good. Dafa cultivation really is not the form, but rather cultivating the heart. Dafa disciples are opening path for the future, offering reference to the future people. Therefore, no matter what we choose, we should do with righteous thoughts and righteous actions, walking on the cultivation path righteously.
"Help teacher with Fa rectification and save sentient beings"This is not a slogan, but a promise of millions of years from Dafa disciples to the Lord Buddha! We can only be diligent and more diligent, and all our wish: if only Master laugh!
Individual level is limited, please feel free to point out anything I have not done well.